The Soldier Next Door

…Mary POV…

I keep repeating to myself over and over to absolute tormented torture that it should be me.

John has been nothing but a good man and a good father, and he does not deserve anything that has been thrown in his life that is so bad that it is keeping him away from his family.

I know that being strong should be something that I should practice, but how can I be strong when the person that helps me to be, is not here? I can, and it is simply not a statement, but my breath is useless if I do not have him breathing it here with me.

My boys need a father, and I need a husband.

This will only be a chapter in the book of his life, but he needs to move on now, for he has stayed too long. He needs to see the value that he has brought to the life of people that are even beyond his family. He has brought together bonds that we all thought were broken a long time.

Let us take, for instance…

You have a Marine that can be at home on his couch now waiting to be called up for his next deployment, a Marine that is not his son, that is standing, holding his hand and praying for him to wake up.

You have an expecting mother, who should be in bed, yet not part of the family, but she is sitting awake by his side for longer than she should be.

Then the boys…well, there is not much one can say about the Hunter boys. They love their father, and they love giving him shit too. And he should know that he is never going to live this one down.

He has been away for a while now, and all I can say is that the air is so thick that you can cut it with a knife. I have not stopped crying since they took him away. My only fear is that damn machine is going to stop beating when we are not near.

The thought that I will never see him again destroys me.

The heavens have opened up, and heavy rain has started to beat against my skin. I can almost say the hurt of the tears pounding on my skin is almost as deafening as the beating of my heart. I think that the ones on the side where only health prevails, their bodies hurt more than the ones that are riddled with illness.

I know that John will not give up and that he will fight this with everything that he has got. But I am scared that even though his body is healing that his mind does not want to let go.

Does he even know that I am okay? That I have survived? Perhaps there is an agony in his soul, and he might think I might have let go? Will he let go?

Unfortunately, life is a cruel joke sometimes. The love of my life might be taken from me, and I will never speak to or see him again. I genuinely don’t know how I will get through, but I will because that is what John would have wanted me to do. He never gives up, and neither will I. Never. 

But I know that he will look at me and tell me to man up and stop crying. That is how he is. Inappropriate, love to laugh, and want me to be happy.

I will never meet another man like John, and I don’t want to. He will forever be the light in my life, and I will keep him with me every step of the way. He is my soul mate, lover, best friend, and favorite person in the whole world. He tells me all the time that we are two halves that were lucky enough to meet. 

It is him and me against the world, and it always will be. I keep hearing the pain will get better, even if it never fully leave me. I am struggling to believe that right now.

John makes me so happy. We truly are meant for one another, and we have a connection and bond that most people never get to experience. We are lucky in that sense. We always fight for each other no matter what. Always and forever, we will be a team.

We have gone through such hard times, but I remember him with our cherished moments together. 

Our drunken nights when we first met, where we would dance the night away, drinking wine and telling each other stories about our lives. 

The cuddles and kisses. The deep conversations about life and the universe around us. 

Our engagement.

Our trips to the theatre where he would get so into it that he was singing louder than the people on stage. How we laughed at the same stupid and inappropriate stuff. 

Our strength in the face of adversity. 

Our daily gushing of love for one another. The fact we never give up on one another. The homes we share. The gifts we share. The life we shared. The friends we share. The family we share. The many weekend trips we took. 

Our honeymoon. 

Our wedding, which was the best day of our lives. 

But most of all, I cherish him and his spirit. He showed me what it is to be really strong, and he always believes in me. I hope I make him proud. 

If I had to say something to him now, what would I say?

Well, I guess something like this…

It still feels like a nightmare. Even after all these long hard days, it doesn’t seem real. I’m looking at you, and I can see how much has changed since this all had started. Your energy, I am sure it has decreased, you’ve lost weight, and I know if you open those blue eyes that they will be etched with the pain. But your smile, regardless of what your body is going through, I know that you will still have that warm smile; your laugh will be contagious as it lights up the entire room.

The most important thing that I know, apart from your body changing, is how much that you love me.

You’re one of the bravest people I know.

Why is it that the most important man in my life has to go through this? I remember sitting in the room with you when the doctor told us how serious the blood clot was. It felt like everything was crashing down on me. I was upset, but I was mostly terrified of losing you because there’s still so much for us to experience. You need to be there; you are the love of my life.

Experiencing this, his given me a newfound perspective on life. I want you to know how grateful I am to have such a wonderful person in my life. I am thankful for every day that you are a blessing in my life. The best husband anyone could ever ask for. Thank you for being there for me all these years, even now, perhaps, when you don’t feel like fighting anymore.

Thank you. 

And thank you for never forgetting to remind me that I’m the best thing that ever happened to you. I hate seeing you go through all this; it’s so unfair. You deserve so much. I wish I could take all of your pain and make it mine, but I can’t, so I want to be there for you as much as I can. I want you to know that I love you so much. We’ll get through this together, just like we started.

Let your faith give you comfort when you are feeling sick and strength when you are at your weakest, because when all is said and done, you will have faced this demon, and by doing so, you will find that this is how heroes are made.

These are uncertain times, and I want you to know that you are not alone. You have a team of doctors and a team of family and friends, and we are all rooting for you today, but better than all of that, you have faith and hope on your side. Today, I want you to focus on that; I want you to focus on the fight and not the fright.

So, please, John, keep on having faith and hope.

Don’t lose hope. When the sun goes down, the stars come out.

Nothing can separate us from our faith. NOTHING! Not sickness. Not pain. Not loneliness. Not uncertainty. Nothing can separate you from this.This belongs to NôvelDrama.Org - ©.

Faith is daring to go beyond what the eyes can see.

Do not fear this walk through the valley. We all have valleys to walk through. Many have been through this valley before you, and many walk in your footsteps. Do not be afraid. You are strong, and we all are with you every step of the way!

Some days there won’t be a song in your heart. Sing anyway.

Don’t quit! Rest. Give yourself time. Don’t try to do too much.

Strength. This is what we need today and every day. We need strength—sometimes just to take the next breath. But keep your strength.

This is your opportunity to prove the strength you have; this is your opportunity to you can, and that you will overcome this.

I am truly, madly, and deeply in love with you. You showered me with unconditional love and were there for me through all my ups and downs. You are a man stronger than anyone I know. Thank you for everything you did for me. You are an angel sent from above.

You loved me with all your heart and trusted me with your life. This always made me strive and be the best wife for you. I am going to show you that I am here for you; we will fight this thing together. I will be carrying your faith and your prayer when you don’t have the strength to.

I have never told you how blessed I feel to have you in life. So today, I want to tell you how much I love you. I love you so much, my dear John, that I can’t express it in words. Still, let me try to tell you what you mean to me. You are the center of my life, your presence makes my dull life beautiful, and most of my memorable memories are due to you or with you. Thank God I met you; otherwise, my life would have been very sad and dull. Now I can’t imagine my life without you. You are the most important person to me, and I am nothing

And it is you, this most important man in my life, that is being wheeled back to the room with the Doctor coming walking up to us.

So he gently leans his hand on my shoulder and sits down next to me, “Mrs. Hunter, I am afraid…”