Winning My Ex-Crush

Fenella’s POV

The day of elementary school graduation arrived. The students would move on to the junior high school of their choice. The schoolyard buzzed with excitement after the graduation ceremony. We shook hands and congratulated each other.

I stood in a corner of the schoolyard. My body leaned against an oak tree as my eyes glanced at Laird, still shaking hands with the boys. We exchanged glances from afar, and I was immediately startled. I turned my back and looked down.

No, I still don’t think I can forgive myself. I still don’t have the courage to face Laird. Even though two years have passed, I still feel haunted by that memory. Truly, I’m just a kid who doesn’t understand my own feelings.

I sighed and got ready to go home. There’s no point in waiting for someone who’s ignored me for so long. But as I turned back, I saw Laird walking towards me.

“Hey, Fenella.” He smiled awkwardly with a stiff wave.

“Oh, hey.” I replied awkwardly.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Okay, I guess. How about you?” I asked.

“Not bad.”

I didn’t know Laird looked different. His face seemed unfamiliar, and he also appeared taller now. Yet, I used to be taller than him.

“I’m going to attend the International School of Boston for junior high. My dad insisted.”

Laird wrinkled his forehead. He looked at our school building carefully, as if engraving every corner into his memory.

“Oh, yes, I heard from my mom,” I replied, looking down and playing with the small gravel at the end of my shoe.

“I’m not going there. I’m afraid I won’t be able to pass, so I chose a more relaxed private school,” I explained to him.

He might have already heard from his mom or Aunt Myers, but I still wanted to tell him. How different our worlds are. I had to retake school exams because of my poor grades, compared to Laird, who was considered the top graduate in school.

What else could I do? Since 1st grade, Laird has always helped me study. Without Laird, I would lose both a teacher and a friend who motivated me to study. I was too lazy to study on my own.

“Yeah, it’s okay. Just relax. Don’t force yourself,” Laird said. He seemed to be comforting me.

“You know, Josh is just like you. He almost didn’t graduate, but he made it. He said he didn’t want to force himself with his brain capacity.” Laird chuckled softly.

“Then won’t he try to get into Harvard or MIT?”

All teenagers want to go to those two colleges. First, because they’re close to where we live. Second, because, of course, they’re the best colleges in the world. Everyone in the world wants to get into Harvard or MIT.

Laird shook his head. Well, maybe Josh, the dumb-chatterbox one, was an exception to everything.

“He’s studying midwifery at Boston College. Can you believe it?” Laird asked with a laugh.

“Huh? Midwifery?” I repeated.

My mouth fell open in disbelief, but Laird’s confident nod made me realize that he wasn’t joking. Josh, a rude guy who liked to meddle, became a midwife. Not to mention the jokes he often cracked weren’t funny at all.

“I can’t believe it either, but that’s love for you. He doesn’t want to be separated from Sam,” Laird said, shaking his head.

“Sam is his girlfriend?” I immediately remembered the cool girl who lived near Adam’s house. Laird nodded again.

“They’re weird, aren’t they?” Laird scratched his head.

“Yeah. Relationships like that aren’t necessarily smooth, right? They might fight and stop talking to each other.” I chuckled softly.

But I immediately stopped my silly remark. I saw Laird raise his eyebrows in surprise. Only then did I realize I was talking about us. I sighed deeply to compose myself.

How foolish! Why did I say that?

“Sorry,” I muttered softly.

“It’s okay.”

Laird might also be trying to control his emotions. He nodded and shrugged as if what I had just said didn’t affect anything.

We were trying to fix our relationship, weren’t we? Ugh, I’m so pathetic.

Laird’s hand went up. I thought he was going to ruffle my hair as usual, but he changed his mind. We fell silent, and he lowered his hand. He switched to offering a handshake, and I stared at his hand.

“Congratulations on your graduation.”

This time, I looked into his green eyes. My heart raced, and I felt something was wrong with me. I missed him.

I accepted the handshake, and we shook hands. I felt enchanted, staring dumbfoundedly at Laird’s wide smile. Laird’s hand felt warm, although I could feel the rough and calloused edges of his fingers from constant baseball practice.

“Don’t worry, Fenella. We’re still neighbors, so we can still meet often. Feel free to visit my house anytime; I promise to host you very well.”

Laird still smiled broadly, and I finally laughed.

“Yeah, Laird. Thank you.”

I thought this distance had come to an end. I thought we had reconciled and forgotten the events of yesterday. No longer looking back.

***

In reality, our distance remained wide. Laird attended an international school a bit far from our area, so he had to take an earlier bus than me. He was also busy with baseball practice and extracurricular activities after school. On weekends, I hardly ever saw him at home.

Similarly, I had made more friends. Cath, me, and a few other girls joined the cheerleading club at our junior high. Our days were filled with extracurricular activities and weekend events.

Apart from Sunday service, Laird and I practically never met again. We only occasionally bumped into each other at church. Sometimes I visited the Evans family Christmas party, but there were usually too many guests for us to talk for long.

This condition lasted throughout my school days until 9th grade. The days I spent without Laird felt increasingly dull. I didn’t know how my days had gone over the last four years.

When we reached our final year in junior high, everything changed direction again. At the beginning of the second semester of 9th grade, our destinies intertwined closely once more.

“Would you go out with me, Fenella?”Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.

Huh? I blinked in disbelief as I looked at the figure in front of me.

What did he just say?