THE SOLDIER

“Mmm. A rough lover.”

“Yes.” I walk on, looking around for something else to report. I notice the concrete planter boxes at the end of the sidewalk and walk over to examine the plants there.

“You like it rough, malysh?”

“Yes.” I finger the green striped leaf of the trailing plant that grows inside, contrasting with the purple leaves of a wandering Jew. I walk on, looking at a woman pushing a stroller across the street. “I see a toddler with pink pants and kicking feet,” I report. “And tiny Crocs on her feet.”

“Hmm. What else?”

“A jacaranda tree. My favorite.”

“What does it look like?

“It has beautiful purple flowers. They’re in bloom now.”

We continue on our walk, me seeking out and naming all the beautiful things in my neighborhood, until I loop back around the block in front of my place.

“How do you feel now, blossom?”

“Better,” I say. It’s true. I do. I’m calm and steady now. The act of looking for beauty, or maybe just noticing the world around me instead of the turmoil inside, brought me peace. I may not be my usual Energizer Bunny self, but I certainly feel grounded.

“What time do you need to go to the studio?”

“Not until this evening. They’re filming today but wanted me to stop by for a cast meeting at six.”

“What can you do to make yourself feel good this afternoon?”Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

I lean into the question to feel for an answer. “I think I’ll go get groceries. And maybe clean my room.”

“Would that make you feel better?”

“Yes.”

“All right. Text me when you’re finished with those things.”

A puff of warmth fills my chest. “I will. Pavel?”

“Yes, little flower?”

“Thank you.”

“YA lyublyu vas.”

“What’s that mean?”

“I love you.” He ends the call before I can respond. I hold the phone to my chest, eyes filling with tears.

This can’t be wrong, what we have together.

I know it’s not wrong.

Pavel

Where are you, Pavel? You are in deep shit with me.

I ignore Ravil’s text and ring the bell of Kayla’s fourth floor apartment. I should have visited her in her own apartment before today. That fact makes me grit my teeth with self-disgust as I wait for an answer. It’s yet another indicator that I am ill-equipped to be a boyfriend.

Kimberly answers, and she’s not impressed with my arrival. Not that I expected her to be. She cocks a hip and surveys me, tossing her long dark hair over one shoulder. “Dude, she does not need this distraction right now.”

I push past her and into their living room, looking around at the cluttered but friendly space.

“You know she’s supposed to go to the studio tonight, right? For her new part?”

I ignore her. “Kayla.” I don’t raise my voice, don’t put a question mark on the end. That’s not my style.

A door bursts open. “Pavel!”

The two seconds it takes her to sprint across the room and wrap those slender legs around my waist take all the oxygen from the room. I squeeze her tight, closing my eyes and breathing in her spring meadow scent.

“Blossom,” I murmur.

“What are you doing here?”

“I had to make sure you were okay. Are you?”

She lifts her face from where it’s buried in my neck. “I am now.”

“Thank fuck.” I walk her back into her bedroom and kick the door shut behind us. “Let me see you.” I lay her on the bed. She looks like a goddess with her hair curled in soft waves and make-up that gives her a fresh dewy look. “You look beautiful, blossom. Are you ready for your meeting tonight?” I try to lower her to her feet, but she keeps clinging to me like a koala bear. So damn adorable.

“Yes.”

“How long do you have before you have to leave?”

“Long enough for you to remind me who I belong to.”

I chuckle. An honest-to-goodness laugh. Because those words are like music to my ears. But I’m not going to dominate her today. She’s had enough of that. This afternoon I’m going to do something I’ve never done before-make love to her.

I kick off my shoes and climb over her, melding my mouth to hers. “You already know who you belong to,” I whisper, lightly wrapping my hand around her throat, my thumb caressing the front of it. “Don’t you?”

“Yes, Master.”

“I don’t need to remind you.” I lay a trail of kisses down the side of her neck and across her collarbone to the hollow at the base of her throat. “I need to reward you.”

She lets out a soft sigh as I slide a hand under her shirt and bra to cup her breast. I lightly thumb her nipple. “I haven’t rewarded you enough, have I?”

She makes a little humming sound.

I tug her shirt off over her head and unsnap her bra in the back. “Have I, blossom?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“What kind of rewards do you like?” I unbutton her skinny jeans and slide them off her legs then grasp the sides of her panties and lay a kiss on her mound before I start to slowly draw them down.

“You.” She reaches her fingertips down to graze mine before I’m out of her reach. “Just you, Pavel.”

I toss the panties on the floor with the other clothes and slide my hands behind her knees to lift them. “So spa time misses the mark.”

“I liked that, too. I like everything you do.”

“Not everything,” I challenge as I lower my head between her legs and lick into her.

She gasps, legs squeezing around my shoulders, pelvis shooting up off the bed. I pin her down and slowly trail the tip of my tongue around the insides of her labia.

“Everything,” she insists. It’s a lie, but I’ll let her believe it for the moment. It’s her fantasy, why poke holes in it?