Chapter 185
185 Griffin Griffin was right, I knew I was not coping well with all that had happened to me. It has been too much, but I just needed to go on. Or I thought I had to, but today showed me I needed to take more breaks. Take better care of myself and unfortunately, it meant I needed to go to therapy again. It’s not like I mind therapy, it is just so time-consuming, Not just the sessions but everything but the aftermath too. I needed to do better though, for myself, for Griffin, and for our pup. Whether I am pregnant or not. Because if not now then I will be soon. And I want my pup to have a stable, happy mother. No longer held back by issues from the past. “No, you’re right baby, I will set up an appointment tomorrow so I can get back to regular therapy,” I tell Griff, and I mean it. But not I just want to eat the delicious meal Griffin made me and then go to bed and sleep. I feel so emotionally drained right now. And it’s making me feel tired. *** The next morning when I woke up I felt nauseous, Griffin is getting all excited. Thinking it is a sign that I really am pregnant. I feel it might be because I am so nervous about setting up the therapy appointment. As much as I know I need to go, as much as I was genuine with Griffin yesterday. It is still daunting,
But it is nice to see that if I get morning sickness Griffin will be as sweet and caring as I/expected him to be. And I am happy I still get to drink my morning coffee in bed, without being sick. Today is the last calm day I have before my education truly kicks off tomorrow. Even 288 iVouchers the weekends will not be completely free of training. Isabella did keep our desire to spend the weekends together not working in her mind. She did make sure that in the weekends much like yesterday and today– it’s just some reading. Today though I needed to figure out if Griffin and I would plead Lizzy and her family’s case to Rodrick and Isabelle, if they agreed. Which they most likely will, we need to introduce them to the rest of the pack so it could be put to a vote.
Yesterday, I tried reading the parts Isabella told me to read. But my mind had been elsewhere, after re- reading the same line until I fell asleep yesterday. I decided not to try anymore and just go to bed. So not only do I have to look at the situation with Lizzy. I needed to catch up on reading, and I needed to finally find a Gemma. Krystel is going to be an amazing Beta, she already is even before she officially is. Like Gerald and Dillion are to Griffin. We are both lucky to have them because we wouldn’t be able to get everything done without them. That’s one of the reasons why I need to find a Beta. THE F If been getting to know the pack members a lot better, still to appoint someone as your Gemma you either need to be really close to them. This isn’t possible for me yet, not with only knowing the pack members for a few months and only being a pack member officially for a few days. The other option was to bring your own Beta from your old pack. Not only did I not grow up in the White Oak pack, the pack that was my old pack when I became a Silver Moon pack member. I wanted my Beta and Gemma to be part of the Silver Moon pack when I chose them. Not after I did so, I wanted to show I was so much a part of the pack that I did not need to get my assistants from another pack. The only exception would have been Jessa, but she was never an option. Leaving me with only one last option, having interviews to see who wants to be my Gemma. And then pick the one I had the most click with or the most trust/in to be my Gemma. *** “Princess Ayla, there are five more candidates,” Krystel told me, it still felt weird to hear her address me by my formal title. She had too with so many wolves overhearing our conversation. When it is just the two of us, even when it is work-related she calls me Ayla. That’s something I hope to achieve with my Gemma too. I want them to not just be my assistant. I want to become friends too. All the Beta’s and Gemma’s I have ever seen were friends of their Alpha or Luna. To me, that makes perfect sense, after all, you need to blindly trust your Beta and Gemma. “Sent the next one in Krystel,” I told my sister-in-law. So far all the candidates had been she-wolves, I suspected they would be. Even if I had made it clear anyone regardless of anger and gender could apply for the job. Sure, someone around my own age,
around Griffin and the others would make the most sense. But I was not going to exclude anyone before ever talking to them. Not only was every applicant so far a she-wolf, they were all about the same age as I was. I was okay with that, even without excluding them I had some doubts if a person much older would fit in with the rest of us. That wouldn’t matter too much in regard to work. It would make becoming friends and doing things in a group a lot harder. I figured the same would go for someone who was much younger than us. But when Dean, a nineteen-year-old wolf I had spoken with a handful of times, walked into my office something immediately felt right. “Tell me Dean, why do you want to be my Gemma?’ I asked the first question I had asked everyone. It was the only question I had written down, that first question was supposed to start a conversation, If someone couldn’t just carefree chat with me if there was a job to be done. Even if the job was doing a job interview then it would not be a good fit. 288 Vouchers Dean straightened his back like he was more than ready to give me an answer. He didn’t have the chance to answer me though. Suddenly there was a lot of commotion in the hallway, followed by the door slamming open. I turned to the door opening to find Cynthia standing there. Arms crossed, eyes dark, she reminded me of Hannah and it scared me more than it should. “How dare you hold Gemma interviews when you will never be the Luna of this pack.” She shouted at me, just as Krystel came skidding to a halt. Apologizing that she just went to get a bottle of water from her office. She tried to pull Cynthia out of the room but the latter was too quick. I was unsure of what to do, no matter how rude this was. It still wasn’t something, going against the pack rules. I could always ask the guards to escort her out of my office. But I was scared how that would come across to the rest of the pack members. I froze to the spot as Cynthia came storming up to me.NôvelD(ram)a.ôrg owns this content.