Chapter 184
184 Griffin
Ayla was curled up on the couch in her office, her face stained with dried-up tears. I figured she had just thrown herself into her work, her education. To stop obsessing over Hannah’s punishment. Never did I expect her to hide her pain, I didn’t even realize how bad it was. This had to be more than feeling a bit guilty. And for some reason, she did not feel like she could share that pain with me. For some reason I made her feel like she couldn’t confide in me.
She must have heard me entering the room as she startled awake. Rubbing her eyes, before smiling up at me.
“Hey, baby, I’m sorry I’m just so tired.” She sat back up, still pretending to be fine.
I told myself I was not going to probe her to tell me what was up. Before I found her curled up with a tear-stained face I told myself I was going to let her tell me in her own time. Now I couldn’t anymore. I would always want to comfort her, as her mate it was my purpose in life. All I wanted was to make her feel happy, safe, and loved. It was clear she didn’t feel like that now, I placed the tray with our food on her desk and made my way over to her.
“Darling, I can see you have been crying please let me be there for you?” I sat down pleading with her to let me in.
“You will think it is silly and we have so much more going on.” She sniffled but at least it wasn’t because she didn’t want to hide things from me.
She just didn’t want to burden me. All I needed to do now was to show her that she would never burden me. If I could help her carry her
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burdens, as she always helped me carry mine. It’s what being mates is all about. So that is what I tell her, giving her the plate of food in the meantime. Both to have something to do and not stress out over the fact that I still feel Flet my mate down. And because I wanted her to
eat.
“I feel guilty about Hannah, which is stu pid because I know she brought this upon herself. Honestly, it’s not even her I feel guilty of but her pup. What if I ruined their life before it even started?” I could tell she was holding back another so b.
Ayla worrying about ruining a pup’s life. Even if it was their parents who potentially ruined it.
“Darling, I don’t think it is silly. It’s so kind and sweet like you are, and it is one of the reasons why I love you. That being said you did not make the decision the council did. Dad would have pleaded for Hannah to be executed and the likelihood of the Council agreeing was high. You gave that little pup a chance at life when its parents never cared enough to do so. I would have risked everything to get you and our pup out of a dangerous situation. David just left them behind like they are nothing to him.” Ayla listened to me while eating her food, something I said made her stop. Thinking about something before she answered me.
“Because you love me Griff, you are the best mate I could ever wish for. And you’re going to be just as good as a father to our pups” Her hand absentmindedly rested on her stomach when she told me she
trusted me to be a good father.
Making me wonder if deep down inside, she feels she is pregnant. I heard it happened to women before. It was not the most important thing now. And since Ayla continued speaking I focussed my attention back on her. And to what she was saying.
“They never mattered to him, Hannah was a means to an end. I have
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heard him tell her he was sure she would never get pregnant. In his mind, wolves only could conceive if the Moon Goddess supported their union.” Ayla was serious but I couldn’t help scoff.
How can someone in line to be the next Alpha, who had to have some education? Be so absolutely stu pid. There was no way he actually believed that to be true. Ayla convinced me he was, but she never understood it either. That was why he raped her, he figured she would get pregnant on the first try. Showing her once and for all that he was meant to be with her.
Ayla had told us about her experiences, and the abuse she suffered. Never what he told her during the kidnapping. Now she told me all about it. How he forced her to play a happy couple. How everything he did was to show her that they were meant to be together. How he was convinced that he could restore
the mate bond by being with her. How guilty she felt for playing along. Even if she had to, because if she would have he would have only hurt her more.
I was horrified to learn all about what he had done to her. The full extent of what she had been through. I don’t know why I never asked her about it, maybe I was scared to find out what she had been through. Maybe it was because, I was scared. Ayla had told me how much it hurt her to hear the recollections of what I, our friends, and family had gone through when she was gone.
It’s probably why she didn’t tell me either, she is always trying not to burden me with her problems. Even as the future Alpha the pack’s therapist would never tell me what she discussed. Rightfully so, Ayla was the one who had to decide what she would tell me and what not. Apart from burdening me with her problems like she probably figured was what she would be doing. Even if it would never feel like that for me. It must also be hard for her to go over all the things she went through back when she was kidnapped.
There was nothing I wanted more than to help her deal with all of this,
But I was in way over my head. I could not help her, I could be there for her, I could support her, and continue to show her I loved her. But she needed professional help to deal with all of this. After one of the first session, she told me the therapist had figured out she was still dealing with the emotional effects of David not only rejecting her. But the betrayal that took place when he betrayed her, and the bullying after. I hated seeing how my strong mate had to suffer so much. How she had to use her strength to overcome her past. She was great at it, maybe even a little too great. Now people underestimated the effect it had on her.
“Darling, I want you to know you can always tell me everything. Nothing you can say or do would make me love you less. My purpose as your mate is to help you carry all of your burdens just as you are doing for me. Still, there is only so much I can to to help you and I do think you need help to deal with
all of this. Not because you are weak, but because what you have gone through is just too much to bear for anyone” I told her hugging her close to my body. Hoping she would agree with me.