Winning My Ex-Crush

Fenella’s POV

Today, Laird had a friendly match. Of course, I watched to support him. I brought the cheerleading pom-poms that I usually use for school pep squad practice. Although everyone was watching me, I didn’t care.

I was guiding the supporters to prevent them from getting tired quickly. That’s indeed the pep squad’s duty. Wearing a red shirt and white skirt, I cheered every time Laird’s team hit the ball, even though his team still lost in the end.

After the match ended, I approached him, who had finished showering. His hair was still wet, and he sat alone in the front row of the players’ changing room. I sat down next to him, but we remained silent.

“Did you come?” he asked.

“Of course. Didn’t you see me jumping around with these pompoms?” I lifted both the red, blue, and white pompoms that were distinctive to his team.

“Oh. That’s nice,” he replied, rubbing the pompoms briefly.

We sat silently again in the quiet hallway. I didn’t know what he was waiting for, and he didn’t say anything either.

I just knew he was disappointed, and he tended to withdraw like this when he was upset. Not wanting to leave him alone, I eventually sat quietly while passing the time browsing social media on my phone.

“Let’s go home.”

I put my phone back in my bag and followed his steps out of the stadium. During the ride back home, I tried to start conversations on various topics, but none succeeded in catching his interest. He only replied with short words.

I knew this was his habit when he was disappointed, but I didn’t protest. I understood he was preoccupied, especially about his parents.

Of course, I didn’t bring up his parents. Although I was sure that someone should have a place to vent all the worries they felt, it would be better to talk about it than to keep everything to themselves. If it is not properly channelled, it will eventually explode.

After we got off the bus in front of our residential block, I dared to talk about serious topics again. I could only guess his reaction when he heard later that I would try to enter the same school as him. I was sure he would be shocked.

“Hey, Laird. I heard from Lloyd that you’re going to apply to the boarding academy. Is that true?” I asked directly.

“Do you talk a lot with Lloyd?” he asked.

“Just occasionally during lunch breaks.”

I explained slowly. He was silent, and it seemed he was thinking about something before finally answering.

“Yes, I will apply there.”

He replied in a low tone. His gaze also seemed more gloomy, and I started to worry. He was clearly thinking about something, and he was stubborn about keeping everything to himself. His face looked very sad.

In front of my house, our steps stopped. I faced him directly. I wanted to surprise him with my high school choice.

“I bet you’re surprised. I”

“Forgive me, Fenella.” He cut off my words. “Right now, I feel like I can’t focus on anything other than my own personal life. It’s hard enough for me to balance academics, baseball, and my parents’ problems.”

He looked confused at me, then he bowed his head. His gaze seemed to be searching for something on the ground. Confusion was clearly evident in his behaviour, and I couldn’t even understand all the things he was facing.

“I feel guilty towards you. You shouldn’t have been trapped with me and my problems. You should go on dates with a guy who can make you laugh freely on Saturday afternoons, give you flowers, and buy you sweet ice cream. You don’t have to wake up early just to go to school with me when you usually come late.”

“Laird, it’s okay.” Hearing his words made my voice hoarse. He shook his head vigorously.

“I’ve made a mistake. I already knew I shouldn’t have dragged you into my hell. Forgive me, Fenella.”

He hugged me tightly. His body trembled, and I was carried away by his mood since we were on the field earlier. I cried in his embrace. Once again, my hands gripped his jacket on his back.

“I’m sorry. I would be happy if you still wanted to accompany me, but I can’t see you hurting too.” He released his hug. His hands briefly wiped my wet cheeks, then pushed my hair back behind my ear.

“I’ll come to you again when I start feeling better. For now, I don’t want to trouble you. I’d rather see you laugh cheerfully than witness my downsides.”

Then I nodded, even though my tears still felt warm, flowing down my cheeks. “Sorry, Laird. I want to be useful for you, but I’m just a stupid girl who’s useless.”Property of Nô)(velDr(a)ma.Org.

“Don’t say that. In my eyes, you’re still the special girl,” he said.

His fingers were still gently combing through strands of my hair and tidying them up as if I were his favourite doll. He wiped away the tears that were flowing.

“Laird, I’ll apply to that academy too. I will wait for you and accompany you. Promise me that when you feel ready, you have to come to me immediately.”

He stayed silent for a while, then eventually nodded with a thin smile.

“Stop crying. Why are you such a crybaby?” He wiped my tears again. Then he kissed my lips quickly. Surprised by the kiss, I finally stopped crying.

“Thank you, Fenella.”

I nodded and hugged him again, as tightly as possible. He hugged me back, caressing my head with tenderness. If only our hugs would erase his heavy heart, I’d do it every day. I didn’t care about anything else. I just need him to be strong enough to get through this together with me.

“Go home. Rest first.”

I nodded again and obeyed him. I waved to him, and he waved back quickly with a smile on his lips. Without looking back, I went back into my house.