Winning My Ex-Crush

Fenella’s POV

“How dare you tell me to calm down?! How could you do this to me? Goddamnit!”

I yelled again, both of my hands clenching the air. My eyes glared at Alan. He swallowed as I continued to curse him with harsh words.

“Fenella, darling,” Jessy said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and squeezing them tightly to help me regain control of my emotions.

“Tell me, Clark. What makes you hate me so much?” I ran my fingers through my hair as tears kept streaming down my cheeks.

I never thought that the man I believed was always helping me would turn out to be my schoolmate. The one I rejected before, the one bullied by Amy, is now part of Amy’s family?

“Is it true that Amy told you to ruin me?!” I asked him again in a high-pitched voice.

There was no answer. The man just stood there, frozen, watching me lose control of myself. Jessy kept squeezing my shoulders, and slowly I started to feel the physical pressure, helping me stay on my ground.

“It’s not like that at all, Fenella. Just calm down first. I can explain later when you’re calm and the time is right.”

Hearing those words again, my eyes widened. Alan took a step forward, but my hand went up again. I shook my head repeatedly.

“No, I can’t bear to hear any more of this. Enough is enough.”

My feet were restless. I paced back and forth and then turned to face them. Laird seemed to be holding back his anger, while Alan looked panicked. Our emotions were all over the place, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to think. I shook my head again.

“Come on, Jessy.”

I turned around and walked away from that cursed office. The only thing I wanted to do right now was get as far away as possible from here so I could cool my head, which felt like it could explode at any moment. My head and neck ached, and my eyes felt hot.

Maybe I was being childish, maybe I was a coward, but I couldn’t face all of this anymore. I might really explode and shatter into pieces if I don’t calm down soon. My breathing was still heavy, and tears continued to flow in an endless stream down my cheeks. My hands wiped my cheeks over and over again.

I walked down to the second floor, and I immediately saw people staring at me in shock. This was the first time I cried in front of so many people, and it made me look weak.

Urgh, damn it. Their stares were piercing, and I hated the sympathetic looks that pitied me.

I took my sunglasses out of my black shoulder bag and put them on. With the sunglasses on my face, I hoped no one would notice how miserable my life was right now. Especially since there were paparazzi still waiting outside the office.Owned by NôvelDrama.Org.

“Fenella, wait.”

When Jessy and I reached the lobby on the first floor, Laird grabbed my arm. He was panting and looked like he had tried hard to catch up with me.

“Let go of me.” I pulled my arm away from him.

“Fenella, please listen to me first.”

“There’s nothing more to hear, Laird.”

I tried to move away from him, but he insisted on gripping my arm and pulling me into his embrace.

“No! Stay away from me!” I pushed him away, though he insisted on hugging me.

“Laird, please. Give Fenella some space. She’s not mentally stable right now.” Jessy held Laird’s body back to keep him away from me.

“Jessy, please help me. Fenella, you know this is all Alan’s trap.”

“Yes, I know, Laird. We all know, but please give me time and space. I can’t think clearly right now. Please,” I pleaded, and despite his resistance, he let go of his embrace.

The next moment, I walked out of Gene’s office. I didn’t look back because I knew Laird would only be looking at me with sadness and disappointment. No, honey, please don’t look at me like that. I hate that look.

***

“Thank you, Jessy. Sorry, I’m always troubling you.”

I stood at my apartment door. Jessy had taken me back to my apartment. Throughout the journey, we were silent, and Jessy didn’t comment on anything. It was such a bad day.

“It’s okay, Fenella. Are you sure you’ll be alright alone, darling? You can stay with me for a while if you want.”

I shook my head. Both my hands squeezed Jessy’s hands tight, seeking a little comfort.

“I’ll be fine. I think I really need some time alone to calm down. Besides, you have to be with your mom in the hospital.”

During the ride home, the hospital called Jessy to come and sign some consent documents for her mother. I couldn’t rely too much on Jessy anymore.

Besides, maybe Mike’s words were right. Not everything revolves around me as its center.

“My apartment is always open for you anytime, honey. You know the password. If you need me, you can call me, okay?”

I nodded and gave a weak smile. She hugged me tight, and I returned his hug tight as well. I held back from crying again because I knew it would only make him feel more guilty, even though I had repeatedly assured him that it wasn’t his fault.

“Take care, Jessy,” I said as he waved and hurried away.

I closed the apartment door. My steps dragged as I walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge. Inside, I saw cans of cold beer. I took one can and opened it with satisfaction.

With a craving to quench my thirst, I gulped it down quickly. My throat immediately felt burned, and my head ached. It was painful, but I’d rather feel this physical pain than my messed-up feelings.

I opened another can and drank it until my stomach was bloated. I crushed the now-empty beer can. My knees felt weak, and I curled up on the kitchen floor. My body couldn’t seem to handle the outburst of emotions anymore.

What am I doing?!

Tears streamed down my cheeks again. My breathing was interrupted by sobs, and I wailed. Both my hands then hugged my arms amid my unstoppable crying.

I folded my knees, curling up on the floor. I tried to get up, but my chest was too tight to even catch my breath. I imagined myself drowning in water, and it felt suffocating.

Maybe if I died, I could escape all the problems weighing on my head and heart. If I die, maybe it will all be done.

My phone rang loudly from inside my bag. The ringtone was familiar to me, but I almost forgot who the caller was. The ringtone rarely sounded. I let the call go unanswered.

This time, I grabbed another can of beer and was ready to drink it again. But once again, my phone rang, stopping my hand in the air. I placed the beer can on the floor. My hand reached for my bag and rummaged through it to get my phone.

When I saw the caller ID on the phone screen, my heart sank. It felt like a bucket of cold water was poured over my head. I bit my lower lip and waited for the phone to stop ringing. When the call went unanswered, I sighed in relief.

Then the phone blared again. It seemed the caller was persistent in talking to me. After wiping my tears and blowing my nose off, I answered the call.

“Yes, mom.”