One Hundred & Twenty-Five
Ally’s [POV]
I didn’t realize I’d dozed off in his arms until I tried to move. The watery fingers of early morning light peeked through the edges of his dark curtains. He’d pinned me against him and the mattress with his leg and arm. I tried to be annoyed. It would be easier if I was, to be honest, but I couldn’t work through the molasses-thick emotions threatening to choke me.
Love.
Greed.
Need.
I wanted to belong to him so very badly. Almost as overwhelming was the equal need for him to belong to me.
And that was so very dangerous.
I wiggled out from under his arm and he moaned into my ear. “Where are you going? You said you’d stay tonight.”
“And I did. It’s morning.”
“No.” The word was more of a moan and rumbled through his chest and along my back. “I missed the whole thing?”
“We were a little tired.”
“There were many little boys and girls, and a very excited one who didn’t want to go to sleep last night. Then…a nightmare.” He curled his arm under me and danced his fingertips over my inner thigh. “There was also another not-so-little girl who tired me out.”
“You wouldn’t be calling me fat, would you?”
“God, no. Perfect.” He skimmed his finger over my thigh to my hip and cupped my ass to shift us even closer. “You fit me in every way.”
I bit back a moan. “Sex is easy, Seth. We’re good at that.”
“Yeah, we are. It’s more than that and you know it.”
I stiffened and tried to wiggle free again. I didn’t want to hear this now. Not when he was all soft and rumbly with sleep. When he could say things he didn’t mean.
I longed to hear them so badly, and it was way too easy to believe him while my shields were down. Exactly why I didn’t want to stay the night with him.
Pillow talk was dangerous. Recriminations were even worse.
He rolled me over and nudged my thighs open.
“Seth.” I wasn’t sure I could resist him and he must have heard the warning in my voice. He settled down until I couldn’t move, but he didn’t slip inside.
He could have.
He was hard and I was weak when it came to this part of us.
Instead, he cupped my face. “I love that you slept with me all night. That you allowed me to fill you up and hold you close. That even now we may have a family growing between us. But that’s not all this is about. It hasn’t been for a damn long time.”
I closed my eyes.
I couldn’t face those dark eyes. I knew he loved me in his way. The hugeness of our history would always be full of complicated emotions. But there had been so many changes around us and between us.
“Ally.”
His voice was low and patient.
I tried to move my hips a little. Maybe I could distract him.
He groaned and buried his face in my neck. “No fair. And I’m not letting you distract me. Open your eyes, babe.”
The different endearment startled me enough for my eyes to pop open. Yesterday he’d called me baby. Now babe.
The couple’s vibes were everywhere, but I didn’t dare believe them. If I did and he was just being affectionate-like he might be with a friend he loved but wasn’t in love with and liked bang
ing-I wasn’t sure I could survive it.
“There you are. Don’t shut me out. I don’t like it. That’s not what we’re about. We’ve always had each other’s back.”
“I know.” I hated that my voice was so tentative and shaky. He was right. I was the one changing things, not him. Well, minus his insane idea that had started all of this in the first place. But I was the one who couldn’t box up my emotions when it came to him any longer. “Things are different now.”
“Not for me.”
Well, they sure as hell were for me. Could he not see that? Was this ever going to work between us if I had to pretend every day?
I leaned up to kiss him. To distract him so I could finally get some much-needed space, but he turned away from me. “Distracting me again. I don’t just want this. I love this part of us, but the family we’re creating is even more important.”
“For Laurie,” I said on an unsteady breath.
“Not just Laurie. For us. We both came from families that were a hot mess. I want Laurie to have an amazing mom as well as a sister. That’s because of you.”
I swallowed down the huge lump in my throat. I’d never believed I would be a mom. His little girl was more than I could ever hope for. And if I couldn’t have all of Seth, at least I’d have a part of him.
At least a child between us could be enough.
“I learned from the best.” I blinked away the rush of tears.
“You sure did. I wanted your mom to adopt me. One of the many reasons I want you in Laurie’s life. Can’t you see how perfect this is? How we are?”
“I’m so not my mother.”
“You’re even better.”
I tried to shift him off me. “Stop. I don’t need you to butter me up. I already said yes.”
“That’s not what this is.” He let me up but didn’t move away. He reached for me, gripping my hair and dragging my gaze up to meet his. “I couldn’t imagine anyone else being the mother of my child. I wish you were Laurie’s mother too, but I can’t wish away her mother because she’s part of Laurie. And Laurie is perfect just the way she is.”
“Yes, she is.”
“But the fact you love her so completely makes up for the rest.”
The rest. Aka his brief, shitty marriage. My chest tightened. It was my fault Marj had left.
He’d just admitted as much.
Every part of me wanted to roll into a ball. I was the reason that little girl didn’t have a mother.
He lowered his mouth to mine. “Don’t cry, baby. I know you miss your mom.”
I clung tighter to him, letting him believe the grief living inside me was because of my mother. I missed her desperately, but I also knew she was at peace.
And she hadn’t been for a long, long time.
My tears mixed with his soft, sweet kisses. Because I didn’t have it in me to say no. And because I needed this as much as I needed oxygen, I melted into him.
Soft and gentle as rain. Maybe, just maybe…as healing.
I strained under him as we moved together faster. As the morning light streamed over our bed, with Seth braced over me, I wound my legs and arms around him as if I’d never let go.
When he came inside me, I held nothing back.
He nearly shouted out his release when I lifted my mouth to swallow it down inside me. I held that too. I held every piece of him close. I trailed my fingers up his back until his breathing evened.
I liked the stillness of the morning and my brain was too wired to drift off again no matter how tired I was. I sifted my fingers through his shaggy hair. The dark curls twined and teased my skin. Even in sleep, he was hard to ignore.
A thud from out in the hallway made him jump. “Laurie?”
I kissed his temple and slid out from under him. “I’ll get her. Go back to sleep.”
“Are you sure?” His dark eyes were blurry and unfocused, but the father in him was ready to get up and take care of his little girl. It melted my heart even more.
“Yes. We’ll make some breakfast.”
He curled his arm under the pillow and slid the rest of the way off me with a low groan. “That sounds amazing. I’ll be down in just a few…” He didn’t even finish the sentence.
I laughed and pulled the sheet up over his distracting ass. I slipped out of his bed and darted for the bathroom. I’d fallen asleep wearing his T-shirt, but it was hopelessly wrinkled. I tossed it into the hamper and glanced at the huge glass shower. Those jets would probably feel amazing.
A second thump from down the hall and Laurie’s exaggerated shush put an end to that fantasy. I cleaned up as best I could before rummaging in Seth’s drawers for something to wear. I hadn’t packed an overnight bag, so a pair of boxers and a T-shirt would have to do.
I darted out the door, closing it quietly behind me. Down the hall, Laurie’s door was open and her dolls and Care Bears were arranged around a white table. A plastic tea set from one of her friends was set up ever so carefully. Except for the teapot that had somehow ended up under Laurie’s bed.Content is property © NôvelDrama.Org.
Laurie’s tousled blond hair was a halo of snarls around her head. She was searching around the room, picking up toys and discarding them.
“Under your bed.”
“Ally!” Her huge blue eyes went wide and she slapped her mouth shut. “Shhh,” she said through her fingers.
I tried not to laugh. “Nothing’s going to wake your dad up right now. But if you’re looking for your teapot, it somehow got under your bed.”
“Share Bear was very rude.” It came out more like berry rood, but she was too adorable to correct.