3-13
How awkward is this?
I sit in his car, my cheeks probably a permanent stain of beet-red as I look outside the car window, because I can’t look at him.
I’ve completely fucking lost it.
How else can I explain the freak fest that happened in my apartment? No matter how hot it was, I shouldn’t have done it.
I steal a glance at him. Joe looks at ease as he drives the car, as if he gets blowjobs from strange women all the time, which makes my stomach clench.
He probably does. This isn’t a big deal for him.
It’s a big deal for me. I’ve never been a friends-with-benefits.
Are we even friends?
Christ, this is weird. I’m totally out of my element. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. How am I supposed to act around him?
His voice cuts through my thoughts. “Don’t overthink it.”
Joe stares straight ahead and my jaw drops. “How do you-?”
“I can practically hear your thoughts. Stop worrying.”
Easy for him to say. I saw the gun strapped to his leg. If his boss decided to kill me, I’d never see it coming. That pounds in the back of my brain when he glances at me. That threat is always there, hiding just out of sight, but it’s there. He said he didn’t want to hurt me, not that he wouldn’t hurt me.
Of course I’m worried.
If I can be completely honest, he scares the shit out of me. He always has this look on his face-this deadpan expression that makes me wonder if he’s an empty shell. Every smile he gives me clashes with the unhappiness in his eyes. There’s a lot of darkness inside him.
Joe gives me a look as he parks the car and we walk out to find the little cafe where I’m supposed to meet Nathan. We walk a foot apart from each other. Half an hour ago, I was between his knees, my mouth wrapped around his cock. It feels like we never shared an intimate moment.All rights © NôvelDrama.Org.
Awkward.
I have no idea what to do with my hands, so I let them swing at my side. Joe’s eyes scan the streets, as if looking for potential threats. My heart jumps when he touches my arm and nods to the place.
My brother sits at a table outside, fingers wrapped around his smartphone. It looks like it might snap into two. I approach the table tentatively. Nathan’s white shirt flutters in the small breeze. It’s rolled up to his elbows, almost as if he’s prepared for a fight. His blond head looks up at me, and I feel stabbed by the accusation in his eyes, which narrow when he sees Joe.
“What the hell is he doing here?”
A dark smile flicks on Joe’s face as he walks behind me and around Nathan’s table. He gets in my brother’s face as he plants a palm over the table and the other on the back of his chair. Cold eyes stare back at Joe. He’s trying to intimidate Nathan, but no one’s ever been able to do that.
“I’m protecting my boss’ interest.”
“What boss?” he asks in a derisive tone.
“Jack Vittorio.”
Nathan’s face blanches and he balls his hands into fists. It’s clear that he recognizes the name, and he looks at me again in disgust. “You made a deal with these savages?”
Acid crawls up my throat. “No, I-”
Joe leans in closer. “Like I said before, keep your fucking hands to yourself, or you might find yourself at the bottom of a river in several pieces.”
I clap my hands to my mouth and hope that the other patrons at the cafe haven’t overheard anything. “Joe, that’s enough!”
Nathan swallows slowly, rage vibrating through his limbs. “Get out of my face, asshole. I have friends in high places. You can’t touch me.”
Fuck, why couldn’t he shut the hell up? He’s just making things worse.
“Guys, please-”
Joe just can’t help himself. He grins. “Is that a threat? It sounds like one.”
“Joe!” He finally turns around to give me a lazy look. “Please, stop it. I didn’t come here to fight with him. Just go.”
Instead, Joe pulls out a chair next to Nathan and sits down next to him. “I’ve said my piece.”
Before either of them can say anything else, I sit down in front of Nathan. His eyes are colder than I ever imagined. There’s no twinkle in them, no smile on his face, no friendly greeting, nothing that would suggest any warmth. He looks at me as though he loathes me. His hands twitch, as if they’d long to wrap around my throat.
He’s unmasked.
“Nathan, I don’t want us to be like this. I’ve been dealing with a lot.” I stop momentarily, my eyes filling with tears. “You don’t understand. There are a lot of things going on that Dad never told us.”
Underneath the table, a rough hand seizes my knee and pinches hard. I wince, looking at Joe, who shakes his head slightly. It’s a warning. Right. I can’t tell Nathan about it.
His gaze shifts to Joe, who continues to stare at him unblinkingly. “I think I know what this is all about.”
My chest feels airless. “You do?”
“Yeah.” His nostrils flare. “You made some kind of stupid deal with these mobsters. Hell, maybe you got them to change Dad’s mind about his will. Now you’re trying to get them to intimidate me into preventing the sale of this company-”
“That’s not it at all! How can you think that? How the hell would I know how to contact these people?”
He leans in, spitting at me from across the table, his eyes mad. “Cause you’re fucking one of them, and he happened to work for Jack-”
Joe’s wild laughter cuts through Nathan’s venomous tone, silencing him immediately.
For a moment, the unpleasantness in my gut lightens as I watch Joe’s eyes crinkle with laughter. It slices through the thick tension on our table and a small smile pulls my face. At least someone realizes how ridiculous that would be. Both of us give him scathing looks as he leans back into his chair. Finally, Joe’s laughs subside and Nathan’s contemptuous face turns back towards me.
“Nathan, you know I wouldn’t do that. You grew up with me. It’s me, your sister. Remember?”
Then his face is blank. “I don’t know who you are anymore, but it won’t change my mind about the sale. Jessica and I deserve what’s ours, and I will not work for you.”
The mention of our younger sister makes anger flare in my chest. “You shouldn’t have brought her into this. You have no idea who you’re dealing with.”
Nathan stands up, and so does Joe, whose face is an inch from Nathan’s.
Oh, Jesus.
All the humor is gone from his face. “Sit the fuck down.”
My brother is not about to take orders from Joe, but he forces him to sit back down with one violent shove.
“I’ve done some digging on you. I had a bad feeling, and I talked to some of your childhood friends from school. They didn’t have very nice things to say about you.”
“Oh?” he says in a bored voice.
“Yeah,” he smirks and then leans in closer. Joe whispers something in Nathan’s ear that makes his body tense. I listen hard, wondering what the fuck he’s saying, but I can’t catch a word.
Nevertheless, their effect on Nathan is remarkable. Lips shaking, he turns to me as Joe pulls away with a cruel smile. It’s hard to look at my brother, to be on the receiving end of all that rage.
“You will regret this. Both of you.”
The chair scrapes the cement as Nathan stands, and I’m so certain that he’s going to lunge across the table to kill me that I’m seconds away from screaming. Joe stands in his way and I bristle as Nathan walks around him. He watches him leave, his eyes bright.
“What the fuck did you tell him?”
Joe exhales a long sigh, his chest pulsing in and out as he sits in Nathan’s seat. “Don’t worry about it.”
Don’t worry about it? I could take the knife sitting in front of me and throw it in his face. “You pushed him way too far. He’s not going to forget this.”
“That’s what I’m counting on.” He clicks his tongue, still watching Nathan’s white form in the distance. “I have a feeling he’s going to be a problem.”
“Stay the hell away from him, Joe. I mean it. If anything happens to him, this whole thing with Jack is done. I don’t care about the consequences.”
Joe’s expression is almost pitying. “He’ll kill you without a second thought,” he says in a deadpan voice.
“Just shut up about him.”
“I know that he has no problem with attacking women.”
“I wanted to make peace with him, and all you did was piss him off even more.”
He leans across the table, showing no sign that anything I said offended him. He takes my hands sitting on the table and our faces are suddenly inches apart. “I am not saying this on a whim, Marisa. Your brother is dangerous. He was willing to strangle you based on a misunderstanding. What do you think he’s going to do now that he knows you’re not giving in to him?”
What Joe says disturbs me down to my marrow of my bones. I’m back in my room, surrounded by pink posters as a pint-sized Nathan tears one off the wall, ripping it into pieces. I fight against that clawing, awful feeling inside me. I pull my hands away from him, but his fingers wrap around my wrist like a vice.
“You’re wrong about him.”
Pity. It’s all over his face.
“I’m not. Reading people comes with the job, sweetheart, and your brother is one sick fuck. Do me a favor and don’t ever be alone with that guy.”
It makes me really fucking sad that he has such a low opinion of my brother, but some tiny corner inside my heart knows that he’s right. I can’t trust Nathan.
His thumb strokes my hand and I’m overwhelmed with everything that just happened, and the eyes that refuse to let me off the hook. Joe’s not the type to sugarcoat things. He constantly says things I’d rather not hear and violates my personal space, not that I mind much.
“I won’t.”
“Good.”
Then he kisses my cheek. I feel the imprint of his lips. It burns like a brand on my skin. He stands up and I join him. We walk away from the cafe.
“Listen, I’m going to take the train to work.”
His eyebrows lift in surprise. “On a Saturday?”
I smile apologetically and he shrugs in response. “I’ll take you there.”
“No, really.” I rub my neck feverishly. “I just want to be alone. I need to think.”
We stop at a metro station and Joe watches me carefully.
“Thanks for coming with me. You really didn’t have to.”
He gives me a little smile, one that finally looks genuine. He grasps my chin and leans closer as though he’s going to kiss me. My heart pounds so hard that I’m sure he can feel it.
“Jack would want me to be here.”
I feel cold. The way he says it makes me feel like I’m nothing. Like I’m just a piece of ass.
“Don’t mistake my duty for kindness, Marisa.”
The stubble under his mouth scrapes my skin, but then his soft lips crush against mine and I suddenly lose all energy in my limbs. He’s a dark, irresistible force, depleting me of all my energy. He makes me want him even though he hardly deserves to be wanted. By his own admission, he’s not a good man, but I kiss him back anyway. God knows, I’m hungry for a scrap of affection, and he’s giving it to me.
I sweep my hands over his broad chest, feeling the hard, lean muscles rippling under my fingers. Vividly, I remember how amazing it felt to have his hands stroking my naked skin. I was completely bared in his arms, but I never got to explore his body.
Joe pulls his face away from mine, his eyes blazing like a quiet, controlled fire. “Don’t forget what I said about your brother.” Then he steps away from me, gently disengaging my arms from his waist.
“I won’t.” He’s about to turn away, but I call out his name and he pauses. “Will I see you soon? I mean-outside of work?”
I want to vomit at the hope in my voice.
“Of course, hon. I’ll take you out soon.” Joe smiles and gives me a wink. “See you.”
He leaves just like that, and butterflies soar in my stomach. It’s such a strange sensation. Pain and hope fly together at the sight of him walking away.