Chapter 36
“I what?”
“In the healing waters, you called me.”
I blink at him, shocked. The memory floods back to me when I was in the healing waters, letting the water calm me as I sang the song I remembered from my childhood.
The way Merikh appeared out of nowhere in a trance and like he couldn’t stay away from me. It was like he needed me, had to have me. My chest tightens as I stare at him, realizing that it hadn’t been him wanting me, but whatever weird powers I have and used through my song.
“I–i-” I stutter, trying to swallow the sting of knowing I had tricked him into coming to me. That what I remember as being the beginning of something big between us was something I forced on him.
“A siren’s song?” Caspian asks, a smile breaking his lips as he watches me with pride. “That is a special gift, though it is generally a song of death,”
“It was a song mom used to sing, I think. One about a mate, and calling him home.” I whisper, afraid to look at Merikh, even though I feel the pull to do so. It’s as if I can sense his intense gaze, feel it like he is trying to see my innermost thoughts.
“Can you sing it?” Caspian asks, his voice soft and full of emotion. I look up at him and then at Merikh hating the thought of him touching me right now, knowing that singing it will only draw him closer.
“No.” I rush out, making the decision to never again sing that song. “I have no desire to call my mate. Sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Caspian says, giving me a gentle smile. “This is a lot to take in. You meeting a father you never had. the chance to mourn or know, and me seeing the daughter I thought I lost.”
I tilt my head.
“I thought you said hybrids like me couldn’t exist. That my death was necessary.”
“It was not my order that led to your mother’s death or your discovery. I tried to hide you. Coming back to you. and your mother every few months.”
I frown, not fully believing him. “How did you find out we were supposedly dead?” I ask.
“Our little cabin was burned. Nothing left. Just the necklace I made you with your mother and this-” he holds up
the small thin scrap of worn out leather in his hand. “The remnants of the last thing I gave her!
“But you did nothing…” I furrow my brow. “You didn’t try to find who supposedly killed us, or go to the
council…”
“I know who did it, which is why I refuse to ever let them on the council again, and your mere existence is at threat to the council. It would be telling them I broke our most coveted rule. I would have been kicked from the
council, disgraced.”
“Oh my, that sounds so awful for you. Almost as bad as being hunted and killed.” I say, scowling at him as my stomach twists in painful knots. “You hid. You are a coward who just accepted our death without trying to find out who the REAL culprit was. It’s so easy to just blame the werewolves. Which your mate was. Were you actually
sad or relieved?”
“Losing you both broke me,” he growls, throwing his chair back as he stands abruptly and leans over his desk toward me. “You have no idea what it is to mourn the loss of a love you never knew you could feel and a child that meant everything to you. Knowing I failed, you both nearly killed me.”
“Nearly hardly seems like enough.” I hiss, scowling at him.
Finding my father is one thing, knowing he overlooked things for fear of persecution because of what I am? It’s heart shattering. He couldn’t accept me fully when I was around for him to love. What do I expect him to do now?
My body tingles, my wolf growing angrier by the second as my emotions run over me, only feeding the pain and hurt that I have kept under wraps for years. Warm arms wrap around me as I sneer at the man supposed to be my father. His eyes looking around me, awe in them, before looking back at me.
“You need to calm down,” Merikh whispers in my ear, the warmth of his breath fanning over my skin and making
me shudder.
“I don’t want to give into his embrace to let him hold me and calm me the way he is but I suddenly feel drained, like my essence is leaking from me one drip at a time and I feel lightheaded, my eyes fluttering closed for a moment before I force them back open.
“What did you do to me?” I ask, looking over my shoulder at Merikh who scans my face with worry in his beautiful green eyes. Then I look past him, watching the water in the air floating above a vase and the water aquarium as it warbles and the fish all line the glass, every one of them looking out like they are waiting for a
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“You are draining yourself.” He whispers softly. “You need to relax.”
“Says the assholes who lied to me.” I mumble, taking his advice anyway as I allow myself to focus on something different. I have a family. Like him or not, respect him or not, I’m not entirely alone in this world and he can give me answers about my mom. If I can keep my cool long enough to get his answers.