Torrid Little Affair (Forbidden Desires #3)

Corinne

After Monday, I didn’t go to work for the rest of the week. At first, it had been out of my own stupid self-hatred and pity. I couldn’t face Cooper, not after everything we’d shared. Because, in truth, the second I saw him again, I knew I’d sneak into his office and beg for more. I was crazy about him-ready to change my entire life and all my commitments just to make room for him.

I wanted every bit of him, all his happiness and sadness, his light and his dark, just like he wanted those things from me. Some just wasn’t enough anymore.

Which, of course, was exactly why I needed the space. In the first few days, I’d looked for a new job, but every time I thought about going to work and not seeing Cooper and Alyssa and all the people who’d so quickly become a respite from my stressful life, I couldn’t bring myself to schedule the interviews.

Then, feeling lost and unsure, I spent Friday with Mauve, pouring out my heart only to get the same answer in return-this wasn’t what Aaron would have wanted for my life. I needed to do what made me happy, and more than anything, I needed to find a way to tell the truth.

My head spinning, I’d left the retirement home that night and flicked on my phone to find a message from Cooper. That in itself wasn’t so unusual, though. I’d been fending him off for days. No, it was the content of the message that made my heart stop beating and my breath catch.

You’re. Fucking. Married.

It wasn’t a question, and I couldn’t answer it like one. My throat went dry and my fingers trembled over the keyboard as I tapped out my reply.

I can explain.

I sent the message, but knowing that could never be enough, I added, Can we meet for coffee tomorrow morning?

But by the time morning came, despite my checking every five minutes through that sleepless night, there was still no answer. I spent the day by Aaron’s side, trying to think of all the best ways to explain why I did what I’d done, and how I planned to make it right. But even then, with all the options in the world available to me, one look at Aaron brought me crashing back to reality.

No matter what happened with Cooper, even if I did get him to understand all my lies and deception, nothing was going to make this okay. Nothing would make my life normal and whole and complete, not without hurting someone I cared for deeply and needed me.

On Saturday night, an answer finally dinged on my phone. Cooper had written simple instructions to meet him at a coffee shop at nine the next morning. The place was close to the office, and even though I knew nothing good could come of it and it might be the last time I ever saw his face, my heart still swelled with the idea of seeing him again.

• • •

When Sunday dawned, I dressed quickly and carefully, making sure to feed Aaron and give him his medication before I slipped out the door.Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.

The whole way to the coffee shop, I nervously combed my fingers through my hair, imagining the long wait for Cooper before he finally arrived. It was only eight thirty, but I couldn’t bring myself to wait another minute.

Still, when I reached the little outdoor seating area that led into the main shop, I saw that Cooper was already sitting there, his eyes downcast as he surveyed the morning paper. A steaming cup of coffee sat in front of him, and as he reached for it, his gaze met mine, and I caught sight of the days of stubble along his jaw.

My heart stuttered, and I reminded myself to breathe as I took another shaky step toward him.

I’d never seen him dressed this way. He wore faded jeans and a sweatshirt, a ball cap covering his head, and he looked exhausted. A shell of himself. Like a balloon that all the air had been let out of.

With another jagged breath, I realized I was the one who’d done this to him.

Blinking back hot tears I didn’t deserve to shed, I hitched my bag higher on my shoulder, then took the seat across from him before folding my hands on the table between us.

He sipped his coffee, his gaze never wavering from mine, though he made no motion to greet me. A waitress appeared and I ordered quickly, watching her retreat before finally clearing my throat to speak.

“I’m sure you have questions.” I’d practiced my opening statement a million times in my mind, but hearing the words made them hollower than I’d ever imagined. Still, I pressed on as he raised his eyebrows. “Before I answer them, though, I want to tell you things as they are from my perspective.”

He made no motion to argue. In fact, as far as I could tell, he was barely breathing. So, without a lifeline, I forced myself to continue.

“I met Aaron when I was young. We grew up in the same shelter, and once, we were even placed in the same foster home for a little while.” I chewed my bottom lip. “I’ve thought about how to explain this for days, and I still can’t seem to find the words to express what the constancy of his presence meant for me. When I was placed in a new home, I always had someone I could call who would console me about the new people or share in my small and infrequent triumphs. He was my best friend-my only friend, really-and as we got older, it was natural that our relationship changed too.”

Cooper gripped his coffee mug and brought it to his lips, his knuckles white as he gripped the handle.

I swallowed hard. “Anyway, he was my first kiss. My best friend. My family. I couldn’t imagine my life without him, and we promised each other we’d always be together, in one way or another.”

Cooper let the cup clatter back onto its saucer, his jaw tightening. “This is what you just had to tell me? How you and your husband are fucking soulmates?” He let out a low snort, his eyes flat with fury. “Do you want to make it easier and just shove a knife in my back or what?”

I drew back, both stung and sick with guilt. “Please, hear me out.” I rushed on, desperate to make him understand. “I know this part is hard to hear, but it’s important, okay?”

He let out a sigh but didn’t get up and leave, which was all the permission I needed.

“Anyway, we aged out of the system at eighteen, and so decided to get an apartment together. Aaron woke up late for work that particular morning. He tore out of the apartment, hopped on his bike, and tried to race his way there. In the suburbs, though, there aren’t many bike lanes, and one blind turn changed both our lives forever. A car plowed directly into him.”

Cooper flinched but his expression stayed icy. I pushed on, refusing to let myself get sidetracked from telling the whole truth.