Tolerating The Player

ISABELLA’S POV

Life can indeed change in moments and the fact that you think you’ve found a source of happiness could be really scary when your happiness leaves you in the least expected moments.

I watched how Zach went into the kitchen to make something for me to eat even though I didn’t tell him to, I wasn’t sure I would be able to eat the food with my lack of appetite. I was stuck in between believing what he said to me or not but then if it was really true it means I couldn’t trust him or put my trust in him. What if I also get pregnant for him and he abandons me just like he did to that girl. Perhaps the reason why he doesn’t want to have sex with me was because he knew he would abandon me if I get pregnant.

I was lost in my thoughts when I heard Zach’s footsteps approaching me. He hadn’t been talking much to me after my father died though or perhaps I was just the one who had been grieving too much to notice.

“Here you go” he handed a tray of food to me with some watermelons in it.

I had no appetite to eat so I didn’t respond to the food on my lap, he noticed I wasn’t going to eat so he took the food to feed me. At first I wasn’t going to eat it but my stomach betrayed me by grumbling to the sweet aroma of toasts he used to make for me.

I opened my mouth to take a bite out of the food, the happy expression on his face couldn’t actually describe how happy I knew he must have been.Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org

“Would you do the same to me if I was in her position?” I decided to let out the question that had been baffling me.

It seemed to have taken him off guard but he instantly brought his hands to mine holding them gently.

“Please don’t think like that Bella, I would never do such a thing to you”

“But you did it to her!” I fired back immediately.

“I really changed Bella, trust me when I say I regret my past actions and I’ve changed. You changed me” his voice was weak and drained.

“Then why didn’t you want to have sex with me, because you were scared I’ll get pregnant then you would have to abandon me?” My words came out straight and flat.

“Oh bloody hell, for fuck’s sake I would never do something like that to you Isabella, don’t you trust me anymore?” I could hear the pain in his voice, I could see the tears building up in his eyes but he was trying to stop them from falling.

He was being sincere, I knew I shouldn’t have asked him that question but I had to, I had to know he was being honest and wanted me for real.

“I’m a changed person now Isabella” he buried his head in my hands and I could feel some warm liquid touching my hands. He was truly crying.

Without thinking any further I lifted his head to mine and pressed my lips on his, it seemed to have surprised him but he instantly returned the kiss with his hands on my head pulling me closer to him. We remained in that position for a while before he pulled away from the kiss and embraced me into his arms.

“Thank you” he whispered into my ear as I sunk my head into his shoulders.

I remembered I still had to bury my father tomorrow and can’t possibly be the only one, since Fiona wouldn’t make it to the burial as his wife then I guessed it would be just me, Zach and Joe who I owe a lot of apology to.

“Can you drive me?” I asked Zach whose brows cringed as he asked “where?”.

“The Anderson’s” I replied and he stared at me for some while before reaching into his pocket and bringing out the keys. He held my hands firmly as he led me out of my apartment and into his car.

The drive to the Anderson’s was filled with laughter and love as Zach tried his best to make me smile all through the ride. I was really lucky to have him and I regretted wanting to end my life earlier on without knowing the truth about everything. He might have done a lot of wrong things in the past but right now he’s better and that’s all that matters.

We arrived at their house and I heaved in a deep breath before coming down from the parked car. I looked up at the building and saw a tiny head peeping through the windows; it was Joe but the moment he noticed I saw him, he closed the curtains.

I walked up to their porch and knocked on the door waiting for a response when the door finally clicked open. Grace was standing in front of the door wearing an awkward smile but that really wasn’t my concern. I just wanted to see Joe and talk to him and perhaps invite her to the burial of her long lost lover.

“Where’s Joe?” I asked without returning the fake smile she gave to me.

“He’s in his room” she said but didn’t leave the doorway, neither did she call him out.

“Well then, I need to talk to him,” I emphasized a stress on my words.

“Right!” She muttered before giving way for me to enter the house. I spotted Joe standing on the stairs waiting for me. My heart thudded really loud at the sight of him and what he would think of me.

I had a lot of explanations to give him and I hoped he would accept my apology and understand me. Hell, how does a nine years old child want to understand that I couldn’t look him in the face because of the thoughts of me suffering over a boy that wasn’t really my biological brother, it sounded silly to say.

I took some little steps closer to him as different excuses to say to him were running through my head but I couldn’t find the perfect excuse. Perhaps a sincere apology would go a better way than some excuses.

I was finally in front of him as I heaved a deep sigh, “I’m sorry Joe, forgive me” I apologized with my head bowed.

My whole body couldn’t believe the next thing he did as he wrapped his tiny little hands around me.

“I missed you so much Isabella” he cried on me and I hugged him tighter while kissing his head. I hadn’t expected him to forgive me that easily and it broke me to realize that he would have accepted me back no matter what, but I had been scared to meet him all these while.

“I’m so sorry Joe, I should have been with you all through these. Please forgive me” I begged.

“It’s fine, I’m glad you’re here now, don’t just ever leave me all alone again” he requested and I nodded my head with a smile, he also smiled back. I wondered how his smile would have turned to sadness if I had ended my life. Henceforth no matter how hard things might be I’ll make sure to remember the good people around me before thinking of taking a drastic decision.

I held his little hands as I led him back to the living room, Grace was standing with discomfort on her face. Perhaps she thinks I would take Joe along with me.

“Is he going with you?” She nervously asked. I actually haven’t thought much on that but then i would be going to college in another state soon so he could as well stay with Maya.

“I think he’ll do better here, I’ll be moving to college soon” I smiled at her and she released a breath I didn’t know she was holding before giving Joe a tight hug.

“So about something else, we’re having the burial ceremony tomorrow and I want you to be present with Joe and maybe your husband if possible. Fiona won’t be able to make it” I said and she nodded her head.

“We’ll all be there” she smiled and I returned the smile before leaving the house to meet Zach who had been waiting outside all along.

“How’d it go?” He asked and I answered him by placing a swift kiss on his lips.

“It went well, they’ll be coming for the burial tomorrow” I said to him and he released a heavy sigh.

“What?” I asked as I looked at him.

“Nothing” he smirked and entered his car but there was no way I would take nothing as an answer.

“Oh no you don’t! What were you thinking about” I grumbled as I also entered the car but he caught me by surprise as he pressed his lips on mine for some seconds before pulling away.

“I thought I would never see you smile at me anymore and it broke me but seeing you happy with me means everything to me” he confessed and I turned to look away from him so he wouldn’t notice the broad childlike smile on my face but he did.