Through The Eyes Of My Alpha

Chapter 5

AFTER THREE MONTHS.

RILEY.

I grunted loudly as the rays of the sun beamed on my face, waking me up from my sleep. I threw my forearm over my face and covered my eyes before squinting them to look at the intruder who was fucking up my sleep.

“What the fuck! Close them and get the fuck away from here!” I growled at my Beta as he continued to draw all the curtains open all over my room.

“You need to wake up and get your shit together. You have a visiting Alpha waiting for you downstairs.” Beta Dominic responded calmly, drawing the final curtain before moving to stand at the foot of my bed.

“You can do that! Now fuck off and let me sleep!” I grunted one more time before turning my body around under the blanket and pressing the pillow, on the top of my head, to block off the sunlight.

“I’ve been doing this for the last three months, and this is not right anymore! You need to do your fucking part or you will lose your people! I have allowed three family transfers in the last three months and you’re going to lose more!” His voice was raised, but it didn’t rattle me.

“Let them go! If they don’t want to be in my pack, then they can all fuck off!”

I felt the pillow on my face being lifted up before it flew halfway across the room.

What in the world did my fucking Beta not understand about the term fuck off?

“Fuck you, Riley! Soon I’m going to take over this pack and kick you out of here! Three months! Three fucking months! Andrea is having the time of her life already, and you’re still stuck up here in the gutter! Move the fuck on!

“Who says this is about Andrea? Go away!” I grunted. He was fucking annoying me now.

“That’s the problem! You refused to say anything! You’re not talking! You’re just sulking and doing your own thing! I’m your fucking Beta, but you’ve excluded me from your life! I felt like I was just a fucking puppet running this whole pack because my fucking Alpha is worse than dead!”

I let out an annoyed sigh before turning around, placing my forearm over my forehead as I stared at the ceiling.

“What do you want? A salary raise? Do it yourself. You have access…”

“Fuck you, Riley! I have never felt more insulted than I feel right now. I don’t need your money! I need my Alpha back!”

I shoved the blanket away and got up from laying down. I only had my boxers on, but I didn’t give a fuck. My Beta had seen me naked too, as did the other wolves in my pack. Being naked was nothing unusual when you’re a shifter.

I went to the window and leaned my palm against the window sill, my eyes scanning the ground below. Nothing unusual, just a fucking ordinary day.

“Who’s the visiting Alpha?” I asked in a calm tone.

“Alpha Jacob.”

A growl rumbled in my chest before I turned around, my eyes dilating into black as I glared at my Beta.

“Who the fuck allowed him to enter into my territory? Did you? I’m going to rip your fucking head off!”

“I did. And before you start throwing a tantrum, go fix yourself and face him. We’re fucking lucky this Alpha didn’t give us shit like all the other Alphas when you suddenly decided to cut off ties with every

pack around outside of the treaty agreement dates!”

My eyes squinted, but I tried to control myself.

My Beta’s jaw was twitching, and his hands were already coiled into fists. He was controlling his outburst.

Maybe I would push him a little more and maybe he would throw that fucking punch I’ve been wanting to have to numb me from all the pain I feel inside.

Three months.

It has been fucking three months since she left me and the pain still feels like it was just yesterday.

My mate. She broke me like no one else had done. Not even my mother or Andrea broke me this way.

And I still couldn’t forget her.

I fell asleep with her in my arms, hopeful for a better tomorrow, but she was gone when I opened my eyes. I tried to scent her so I could follow her trace, but the rain made it harder for me. I didn’t have anything. No clues, no names. I didn’t even know her wolf’s name.

All I knew was that she carried my mark. And that she had not kissed or been intimate with anyone for the previous three months. It was the only thing that was giving me a glimmer of hope. But every day, the hope was slowly dying.

I didn’t know how many times I went back to the cave to check if she came back. Two full moons, I went around and scouted for her. But Hunter couldn’t find her.

I was in Darvin’s territory more than my own for the first month, hoping to catch a whiff of her, but there was nothing.

I finally gave up. Not just on her. I gave up on life, and on being an Alpha.

I cut alliances with all the other Alphas – my pack now stands alone. I was just waiting for someone to challenge me to take over my pack.

I asked my Beta to challenge me for the title because I knew I would easily let him win, but he took it as a joke and moved on. I didn’t know how to tell him I didn’t want this anymore. I was tired.

I felt fucking useless. Unworthy to be loved. Unworthy to be an Alpha.

Was this my karma for pushing myself into Andrea? Was this the price I had to pay for taking someone else’s mate, that my own mate would refuse to have me?

I felt a fabric touch my back and it snapped me out of my thoughts. My Beta just threw my clothes on me.

“Shower and go to your office. Don’t make me put clothes on you, or I swear to the Goddess I will cut off your balls and throw them to the rogues. I’m not your babysitter.”

I didn’t say anything as I picked up the clothes that he threw on me before heading to my bathroom.

I had no idea how long I had been under the shower. I just wanted to stay there, but Dominic’s constant knocking was putting me off.

He was indeed acting like a fucking babysitter.

¤¤¤¤¤

I headed downstairs after I showered and put on some decent clothes. I’ve been lounging in sweatpants on most days and I rarely stepped down from my room unless it was necessary or whenever I needed my wolf out, but I stayed away from everyone as much as I could.

Only my Beta and my Gamma were around me, but I was okay with that. I was tired of putting on a brave face when I just wanted to shut down everyone.

But I didn’t think I could avoid Alpha Jacob. This male doesn’t take no for an answer. I was pretty sure he would storm off into my room if I didn’t come down to meet him.

I pushed the door to my office open and saw both my Beta and Gamma stand up from their seats and acknowledge my presence while I stayed rooted by the door.

I nodded at them before darting my eyes to the cocky bastard sitting comfortably on the couch in my office with a glass of whisky in his hand.

“Isn’t it too early for a drink?” I told him sarcastically as I strode inside my office towards my office chair, my eyes flying to the clock overhead. It was almost noontime.

“You shouldn’t worry about me. I can perfectly function as an Alpha even with alcohol in my system. You, on the other hand…” He chuckled before placing the glass in his mouth.

My brow raised as I waited for him to continue, but he just kept smirking, which irked me more.

“Leave us,” I said in a cold tone, and both my Beta and Gamma left the room without any more words.

“What do you want? I don’t want to renew any alliances with your pack.” I told him straight to the point, leaning my back against my chair before closing my eyes. I should be sleeping instead of looking at his fucking face.

“Who said I wanted an alliance with your pack? You’re just going to be a liability for me.” Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

Cocky bastard.

My insides boiled with his answer, but I tried to control the growl from coming out. “So why the fuck did you come here?”

“I want to check how you’ve been doing?”

“As if it matters to you.”

“Of course, it does. What’s going on, man? I didn’t believe Dominic when he told me you looked worse than dead but seeing you now, he was right. I feel fucking bad for your Beta and Gamma. They’ve been running your pack while you moped around.”

“Get away from here. You’re not my fucking father to scold me.”

“What’s going on? Is this still about Andrea?”

“Fuck, no! Why does everybody keep thinking this is about Andrea?”

“Then who? Or what?”

“You don’t believe it’s not Andrea, right?”

“If you fucking explain what’s going on in your head, then I’ll figure it out if it’s about her or not.”

“Fuck off!” I stood up from my seat, but Jacob was faster. He was already standing in front of me and pushed me down to my seat. I didn’t have any energy to fight him, so I just leaned my elbows on my desk and covered my face with my hands.

“Tell me. Just let it out. No judgment, I promised you.”

“You’ve been judging me already. So stop the facade that you’re the nice Alpha here. We both know you’re a fucking bastard.”

“And so are you. So, no one can understand you better than me. Now talk.”

I raised my head from my hands and tilted it in his direction. He was standing beside my desk, looking down at me with his arms crossed against his chest.

My gaze found his eyes. I was looking for any hint of mockery or pity in them but didn’t find any. It was either he was really concerned or he was good at faking it.

I let out a deep sigh before leaning my back against my seat. I closed my eyes as I tilted my head up.

“I found my mate.”

“And where the fuck is she?”

“I don’t know. I found her and lost her on the same day.”

“And you didn’t go looking for her? Don’t fucking tell me you didn’t want her or that you rejected her?”

I brushed my palms against my face before opening my eyes. Jacob was already by the window, leaning against his sides as he looked outside.

“I marked her. It was the full moon. And then I woke up the next day, and poof! She’s gone. I don’t even have her name.”

My heart ached again as the memory of waking up and finding she was gone came rushing in. I reached my hand to my temples and massaged them while blinking back the tears from my eyes.

Three months. And it still fucking hurts.

“I looked for her. For a month, I kept coming back to where I met her, but nothing. I went to Darvin’s territory because I knew she was from there, but still, nothing.”

“And you’re just giving up, just like that?”

“You have no fucking idea how pathetic I feel right now. My fucking mate didn’t want me. How low could I go? I’m already at my rock bottom, Jacob. I’m tired.”

“She belongs to Darvin’s pack. And you marked her?”

“Are you fucking deaf? I just told you that.”

“Get yourself ready. We’re going there.”

“No fucking way!”

“I know you. I’m sure you just went there and scouted the area, but you didn’t even fucking ask Darvin’s help. And I’m going to do it for you. Now get up!”

I was about to reject his idea when a knock came on the door. I smelled my Beta and let him in.

“Alphas..” Beta Dominic nodded his head before his eyes focused on me as he closed the door.

“I got a word from the patrol team by the east border. They have two people requesting entrance to our territory.”

“Can’t you decide on it? Or Sebastian?” I huffed at him while shaking my head.

“I would if you’re not here, but the last time I allowed someone entrance, you threatened to rip my head off.”

Alpha Jacob chuckled, but I hope fucker knew he was the one my Beta was talking about.

“Why do they want entrance? Are they visiting someone? Isn’t this an everyday thing that Sebastian has to deal with? Why the fuck are you asking me?”

“It’s not for those reasons, otherwise we could decide on it.” He let out a sigh, and my eyes caught his solemn expression.

My Beta looked tired and guilt washed over me. I was putting too much on his shoulder.

“What do they want?” I asked, my voice calmer now.

“Tristan said the older man told him his niece was marked by someone from our pack, and he wanted to find that male so he could reject her and they could both move on.”

My body went rigid as cold sweat formed on my forehead.

“From what pack did they come from?” It was Jacob who asked the question I wanted to ask.

“From the Moon Stone Pack.” My Beta answered nonchalantly.

Darvin’s territory.