The Unwanted Bride Of Atticus Fawn

~CLARA~© NôvelDrama.Org - All rights reserved.

My words seem to have shut Alaric down. He's no longer angry but looks more ashamed of his actions. I didn't want that. I was happy to see him this angry that I went on a date with someone. He still hadn't realized that I'd lied to him about that date. I never met anyone last night; in fact, I was in my bed holding onto his shirt for the entire night. It was still my comfort, even after everything. I couldn't sleep without it.

"I'm sorry for my outburst, Clara." He apologizes.

I was tired of his apologies. I didn't want it anymore. I wanted something else.

"I'm tired of it," I shout. "I don't want your apologies, Alaric! Stop giving them to me! I don't want it!"

His eyes widen, "Clara, I—"

"Save it!" I snap. "I don't want to hear anything. I'm tired of being the good girl. I'm tired of sitting back and letting everyone I care about go. I don't want to be that way anymore, Alaric. I want to fight for what I want. I fell in love with Carter once; at least, I thought it was love back then. I would have done so much for him just for him to be happy. I gave up plenty to keep my relationship going. Then he dumped me and fell in love with my sister. I was so hurt, and I hated him for a long time before I was able to forgive him. Eventually, I was happy for both of them, but it still pained me so much to see them together. Not because I wanted him but because I knew that I was alone. It was a bittersweet feeling. Then, you came along and gave me hope; you made me feel happy again. But you're doing the same thing to me that he did. You're hurting me, Alaric. You're giving me mixed signals. One minute, it's me, and the next, you're back with Nicole. I don't know what to take from all of this!"

His eyes are wider than before. He looks surprised by my words. What was there to be surprised about? I was never good at hiding my feelings from him. He should know by now how much I wanted him. He should know how strong my feelings were for him.

"Clara," he says in a pained whisper. "I know that I'm a fucking asshole for what I'm doing to you. I was so pissed at Carter in the past for hurting you. I couldn't understand how stupid he could be to lose you. I didn't understand why he wasn't showing you the kind of love that you deserved. You have no idea how angry I was with him. And I'm even angrier with myself for putting you through the same thing that he did to you. I never meant for any of this to happen. I was supposed to keep my distance from you. You're my student, you're younger than me, and you're also my little brother's ex-girlfriend. You were supposed to be off-limits; I was never supposed to lay my eyes on you. I never had any intention of hurting you; I hope that you can believe me when I say that."

I never knew that Carter's betrayal affected him as well. Why did he care so much about what his brother did to me? How long has he felt this way? Why did he never mention this to me before? Just how much has he kept from me?

"Why is Nicole back with you?" I whisper. "Why is she back in your home?"

His jaw clenches, and I hate how he looks away from me. "It's not something that I'm ready to speak about, Clara. By the end of this week, I promise to tell you everything that you want to know. For now, please respect my privacy. I don't want to tell you right now."

Something about the desperation in his voice made me drop the topic. I believed him when he said that he would tell me everything by the end of the week. For some reason, it felt like it would also be the end of us. How could there be an end when there was never a beginning?

Until then, I wanted to take advantage of this moment and every other moment that I had with him.

I didn't even think twice as I crossed the room towards him. He looks a little surprised, but he doesn't move at all. He lets me come to him.

I can barely breathe when I lift my hand and place it on his chest, right above his heart. I could feel it beating under my touch. His eyes are on my face, and he isn't looking away. His breath was hot, and I couldn't help but lean in and inhale his scent. It was highly intoxicating.

"What are you doing, Clara?" He asks as he swallows hard.

"I'm finally fighting for what I want," I answer him before pressing my lips against his.