The Soldier Next Door

When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe that one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you to stand upon, or you will be taught to fly.

Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Sometimes beautiful things come into our lives out of nowhere. We can’t always understand them, but we have to trust in them. I know you want to question everything, but sometimes it pays just to have a little faith.

There is a general air of surprise, and genuine satisfaction as my eyes fall on the man that is standing in the doorway. Without giving much care to rise to my feet safely, I walk around the bed to greet him.

“How the fuck?”

“I came about an hour ago, was with the old lady.”

Still not quite sure if my mind is playing tricks on me, I squeeze my eyes close, and as I slowly flutter them, one by one open, as true as the sun is shining through those clouds outside, he is here in front of me.

With only but one slap on a shoulder that seems to have been strapped up, he but utters out in pain, “That fucking hurts, you idiot.”

I only but shake my head at him, “The way that Ray carried on, I thought that you were fucking dead.”

“Hey, bro, it is only a broken arm.”

As I burst out in a fit of uncontrollable laughter, I can only but smile at him, “You are not even in the Marines for a week, and you are already getting hurt.”

“Someone needs to live up to your reputation. Though, thank fuck, I don’t have a broken leg.”

“You know these two are going to kills us, especially mom. How is she doing?”

“That very clever Doctor still has her sedated.”

“Ya, he is a real star; wait until he comes in here.”

With that, we both go silent and stare at our dad, who is lying in front of us, fighting for his life the best he can.

The sun is dawning on another day. There is still no improvement; it feels as if I am walking with eyes closed into the darkness; I don’t see the light coming through. Without the light, there is no future; I am trying to hang on to that faith and hope that I know lies deep inside of me.

They say that there comes a time that you need to make peace with what the outcome of a situation could be. I am bordering on that line where I am stepping over from hope to peace. Is that wrong of me to feel that there might not be hope left?

It becomes dangerous when you give up on hope and faith; you are not only letting go of the situation but also of yourself. You stop waiting, then you stop caring, then eventually you stop living too.

I cannot see how it can be possible for someone to be gone for so long? Can he not find his way back home? Is it not be that hope and faith that should be the light to bring him back?

Just as I am about to drop my head in despair, the Doctor enters the room. I know that I have not made things easy for him, yet I am sure that he, too, feels just as frustrated as I do. With that concerned look in his eyes, he walks up to Matty and me.

“Hi, Doctor. This is my brother Matt.”

He only but gives the nod before he starts to speak, “I am sending your father for tests in the morning. And I have just come from your mother; she is awake now.”

There is a brief moment of excitement that sets in my heart as I hear that my mom is okay, but then it turns to worry as I look at my dad. Not trying to alarm Matty, I try to speak as softly as I can to the Doctor, “Why are you doing more tests?”

“I am concerned that if the swelling does not come down that it will damage his brain function.”

I only but shake my head in disbelief, but it is Matty that speaks, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Son, the swelling on your father’s brain is not coming down. The pressure is preventing blood from flowing from to the brain, which deprives it of oxygen. The swelling can lead to damage or death of brain cells.”

Looking at him in horror, I am barely able to find the words, “Well, thank you for spelling it out like that. Now, what do you intend to do about this?”

There is only irritation that grows in the Doctor’s eyes, “I will be able to tell you in the morning what the way forward is; as for now, we will continue as is.”

“So,” I interrupt him before he can even say another word. “All we do is wait?”

“Yes.”

“How long? How long more do we have to wait?”

“Son, I can’t tell you?”

In an instant, my temper flares, and the fear of uncertainty consumes me again. “What do you know?”

“Mr. Hunter, I am fighting as hard as I can for your father, but it does not help me fighting if he is not willing to fight with me. Now, right now, he is just hanging on. It is frustrating and heartbreaking. I don’t know what more I can do for him but wait.”

I feel as the truth of his words stings me; there are drops of tears that start to push to the surface. Just a trickle. And as he leaves, that fear that I have just multiplies, but I cannot break down, not anymore, not when Matty is here. So I take my arm and wrap it gently around his shoulder, “Hey, the old man is going to be okay.”

Matty only but laughs, “He has to be; he needs to give me shit about my arm.”Ccontent © exclusive by Nô/vel(D)ra/ma.Org.

As we drift off in silence again, I cannot help but think; I don’t want to be here, not that I do not want to see my dad, but I need the comfort of Ana’s arms. Only she knows how to take my pain away; in her warm embrace, it is as if the entire world falls away and everything is at peace.

But, this is right where I need to be, not only because he is my dad, but no matter how hard he has always been on Matty and me, he has been like a best friend. He is a man that I look up to; even though he never shared my dreams, he did push me to live them.

I wish I had appreciated the moments more than I had with him; the things we take for granted are often the things we miss the most. The early morning bickering between him and Matty, now that is one thing that I will truly miss.

And just before I am about to burst into a mess of tears, Matty turns to me, “I am going to go to the old lady.”

I gently squeeze his hand, “Tell her I say hi and that I love her. I will come through in a little bit.”

“Hey, bro, don’t rush; the old man needs us more right now.”

With that, Matty leaves the room, leaving me frustrated and in tears; as I take hold of my dad’s hand, I press his palm real damn hard, “I love you, dad. You have to fight this. Do you hear me? You have to fucking fight this.”

Can he even hear me where he is? I think we have established that he cannot, but I would still like to believe what they say. I would even like to believe that he knows that it is me that is squeezing the shit out of his hand.

I don’t know how much longer I can last. I am heartsick, broken, and right now, I just want to lay waste to everything that crosses my path. It is tearing me in half; I need for him to come back.

Even now, when we are so close, it feels like we are far away. Dad, I hope that you are okay out there. Are you? Are you alone? Wherever you are, wherever you plan to go, you need to know that we are here; we all are here waiting for you.

But just as I am about to rise from my chair to go get some fresh air, I see my phone light up. It does not even ring for two seconds, “Hey boo. Are you okay?”

“Soldier, I…”

Then the fucking phone goes dead.

With complete haste, I swipe up for Ana’s number, but as I dial it, there is silence. And as I try again, there is still silence and still silence after that as I continue to phone her. In near frustration, I fling the phone past Gibbs’s head that has now appeared in the doorway.

“Whoa,” he catches it in midair. “What happened?”

“It is Ana.”