Chapter 192
192 Ayla
Still, I tell Sam he can tell me everything, if his daughter is up to anything it would be better to hear it from him. Not just find out when we need to deal with the consequences of whatever it is she has done.
“I have been trying to be strict with Cynthia because I am still upset with what she has been doing. And honestly, I know if she was going to keep up like that she would be banished, and rightfully so. But I cannot handle the pain of having to lose my daughter after having lost my mate?” My heart honestly broke for Sam, he knew just how wrong his daughter’s actions were.
He was doing everything he could to stop her, but he had lost his grip on her years ago.
“That is why I wanted her to get a job, she needs to know what is to put effort into getting the things you want. I have always felt like I had taken her mother away from her. Emma and I had agreed, I would be home in time in the evenings so Emma could join the pack runs. She loved being home with little Cynthia and she loved being a housewife. The night Emma got killed I was late, so late that Emma missed the pack run. She wasn’t even upset with me. You know what she did Princess?” Sam was on the verge of tears, but I didn’t know I was a newborn baby when it happened.
Cynthia and I were the same age and if she had not grown up to be this person we might have become friends at one point. All I could now though was focus on her father who trusted me enough to tell me all of this. Saying I did not know what happened felt wrong. It was the truth, a truth Sam must realize himself and still it felt wrong to say it. So I just placed my hand on his shoulder and shook my head.
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“She thanked me for taking such good care of our little family. Telling me that she loved me for making sure Cynthia would always get what she needed. Then she kissed me and went out on that damned run she would never return from. Cynthia being like she is now is my fault, first I took her mother away from her. Then I did not raise her right, spoiling her because of Emma’s words about me always giving Cynthia what she wanted was on my mind in a loop. Now I ruined my daughter’s chances.” Sam was fighting his tears now and my resolve to keep Cynthia banned from the castle weakened not because of her but because of her father.
I knew it was not his fault his mate got shot and died. No words I could offer him would make him see that though. For more than twenty years he had been beating himself up over this. All I could do was make it so that he wouldn’t feel as burdened by his daughter’s punishment. Not that it was my right to lessen or shorten it. Because it was not a punishment handed out by me. I could however plead her case with Rodrick and hope he would see my sight of things. But before I could suggest doing so Sam continued.
“She wanted to come here tonight, she was all dressed up. Stating that it was an event not held in the castle so the ban did not apply to it. I told her not to and she listened. Sure I could see how gutted she was to be missing out on yet another event but she didn’t say anything and just accepted it. She is also trying really hard to get a job, but no pack member is going to hire her. It is not that I blame them though please do not get me wrong. She has been asking about getting a job outside of the pack grounds. We are in a bit of an impasse now. And since she is doing so much better I…” Sam sighed like he lost the courage to continue speaking to me.
“So you want her to be able to find a job outside of the pack?” I prompted Sam to tell me more but he didn’t. He just nodded defeated like during telling me of the situation he accepted what he was about to
ask me would bé too much.
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I didn’t get it though I never told Cynthia that she should get a job. Let alone stay on pack grounds while doing so all to pay a boarding fee to her father. Or a bit of rent as I saw it. So why would he be scared or nervous to ask me about changing the rules of the punishment he handed out?
“Do you want my permission to change the punishment you have given your daughter?” I asked just to be sure. I was fairly certain that was the cause but I wanted to be completely sure.
I needed to understand what was going on in his mind. Luckily Sam was quick to explain this time.
“I wanted to keep her on pack ground all of the time so I could watch her. Every pack member would tell me if she was doing shitty things again. I hoped it would make you feel safer, but I also want her to be able to get a job. I know I do not need your permission to permit her to find a job out of the pack?” Sam’s reasoning was so sweet, and for me, it didn’t matter if she had actually been doing better or not.
Her telling her dad she would not go, could be a lie for all I knew. I didn’t hold it beneath her to sneak into the party despite what her father said. Lying to him without any remorse. But her getting off the pack grounds made me in no way feel more unsafe than I was with her being on the pack ground.
Maybe if David had still been here I would have felt worried about it. With every passing day now he confirmed my suspicion that he left everything behind and was never coming back for it.
“I appreciate you taking my feelings into consideration so much Sam. But I don’t feel any less safe if Cynthia were to get a job on the outside. And honestly, I think you are right and her having some more responsibilities will do her some good.” I told Sam, meaning every word he said.
He hugged me thanked me and then shooed me off. After I had to
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192 Ayla
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promise him I would enjoy the rest of my night. I wouldn’t have minded talking to him a little longer. But I feel it had been enough for him. At all previous pack events, he had been a bit of an outsider. Watching the other happy families from the sidelines, no doubt missing his mate.
“I saw that conversation, it seemed awfully loaded” A voice I knew but couldn’t quite place told me as a long slender hand grabbed my shoulder. I froze to the spot eyes scanning over the ground to see where Griffin was and when I couldn’t find him my heart dropped to my stomach. As I decided to give in and turn to the voice to see who it was. And what they wanted from me.