Chapter 81: Sibling Bonds – IV
Joanna’s eyes narrowed slightly. It didn’t seem like she had fully expected this, but she wasn’t very surprised, either.
In fact, it seemed as though she had prepared herself for this very day, just in case.
“Tense is putting it lightly,” she said coldly. “You were always the golden child, weren’t you? You got all the attention, all the praise. And then, when you got into that accident in order to save me…”
Her voice trailed off, and a mixture of guilt and resentment flickered in her eyes.
Michael’s features tensed. “It might sound unbelievable to you, but I never blamed you for that,” he said quietly.
She looked at him with a scowl playing on her lips. “That is impossible,” she stated as though it were a matter-of-fact. “We humans are not saints. You must’ve had an ounce of anger and regret. You cannot convince me otherwise.”
“I chose to save you because you’re my sister,” Michael said calmly. “But I guess you’re right. There was some resentment. To be honest, I wanted to do sports and many physical activities with my friends, but I couldn’t anymore. I almost skipped a grade. I had to be home-schooled for a while. When I came back, I was like a different person. My friends gradually abandoned me, and then I was left all alone. The accident… it left me with physical and emotional scars that I couldn’t erase no matter what I did.”
He couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice, but it wasn’t like he could help it. This was probably the first honest conversation that he had with his sister in so long, and all the resentment just poured out without warning.
Joanna looked away and said nothing.
Michael was silent as well, but because he was now recalling these memories of the past – memories that he didn’t want to remember – he knew that he couldn’t run away from them forever.
When he was young, he was confused as to why his own sister seemed to dislike him so much. He was even more confused when she told him those hurtful things after the accident.
Over the years, she never once apologized to him. She sometimes softened after Will probably talked her into it, but otherwise, she remained cold and distant.
Then, suddenly, Joanna’s low voice rang in his ears.Material © NôvelDrama.Org.
“…I felt guilty for a long time,” she finally said. “But I was also jealous. Even after the accident, it seemed like everyone still focused on you. On your injury and recovery. I felt invisible. I felt like an unnecessary addition to the family.”
Michael looked at her.
So that was what she thought at that time.
“I never wanted to take anything away from you,” he murmured.
Joanna sighed, and her shoulders relaxed a bit. “I guess we both have our scars.”
“Yeah,” Michael agreed. “But I want to move past that. After all, you’re my sister. We can’t just… keep hating each other like this.”
Joanna sighed a second time, and now she looked weary. “You have a point,” she whispered. “I’m much older now, after all, and we’re not getting any younger. I shouldn’t be stuck in the past any longer, right?”
The last part of her words struck a chord in Michael.
After all, he, too, was stuck in the past.
It never really occurred to him before that he and his sister would have similarities like this.
“Also, William talked to me.” Annoyance crept into her tone. “Ever since that day when I yelled at you, he kept hounding me whenever he got the chance. He was annoying in the past, too, but he has been especially irritating recently.”
Michael blinked. “What did he…?”
Joanna closed her eyes. “He told me to talk to you, which was why I came to your office that day. But as always, I couldn’t do it,” she confessed. “Instead, I used your first love as a topic and an excuse to leave. Funny, I don’t usually run away from things, but when it comes to you, my younger brother… it’s just difficult for some reason. Maybe because I always thought that I hated you, and that I would never, ever even think of reconciling with you. But then, as the years went by, that started to change, little by little.”
“It did?”
She nodded. “I may have resented you, and there may still be traces of it to this day, but I never hated you to the point where I wished you would just drop dead. No matter what happens, you’re still my brother. If anything ever happened to you, I would do everything that I can to help.”
Michael felt a mixture of emotions swirling around him at her words.
There were some he couldn’t name yet, or maybe wasn’t ready to acknowledge, but he knew he cared about her, too.
Just as much.
“Me too,” he said quietly. “I won’t sit quietly if something happens to you. You’re my sister. I… don’t hate you that much.”
“That day…” Joanna interjected. “I did mean half of it.”
“About what? You saying that I’m not treating you all like family?” Michael said bluntly.
She gave a wry smile. “I got too angry and emotional that day. I’m older than you, and I admit that I should have been more mature. However, I said that because I was starting to think about making things right with you, but you were the one who pulled away that time. You kept us, your family, at a distance. You didn’t care about anything but your own goals, whatever they were. I guess I got frustrated.”
Michael blinked.
But Joanna wasn’t done yet, apparently.
“Not only that, but Will told me some things after that day,” she confessed. “He made me realize how unfair I’ve been to you all these years. It’s immature and narrow-minded to cling to a petty reason for disliking you since childhood. There were times when I tried to suppress those illogical feelings because it wasn’t fair to you, and I knew it. But I still found it difficult. Perhaps because I had become too accustomed to thinking and treating you that way.”
Michael couldn’t say anything.
What could he say, anyway? He didn’t even know how to react.
It was something he had always wanted as a child. A sense of closure of his sister’s true feelings for him.
A clear confirmation of what he had felt from her all these years.
But when he decided not to respond, Joanna decided to keep the conversation going, much to his surprise.
“You know, all this sappy talk made me remember something,” she suddenly said.