The Mafia’s Wanted Desires

ASHLEY

Thunder clapped violently just outside of our room. The ferocious sound echoed and resonated loudly in our compound and miles away from us, but it sounded as though it was on repeat in my ears. It almost had me jumping out of my skin. I moaned softly, turning to my side to snuggle into Arden’s body, but before I could reach out to hold him, I felt myself being held so tightly. The grip was so harsh and suffocating. I could barely breathe. I couldn’t even find my voice.

I had not reeled from that and was still trying to pry myself out of the right grip when I felt the weight of a leg on my body. My eyes snapped open, my eyes anchored on Arden’s frame that was thrashing around on the large bed. The sight was enough to alert my senses that he was having another nightmare. His body was jerking furiously and the way he was stiffening was enough to tell me that his muscles were contracting. I shot up from where I lay, leaning over to him and trying to touch him.

“Hey, hey, baby, wake up! It’s just me!” I tried to reach out to touch him but he recoiled from my touch. Tears built up rapidly in my eyes, streaming down my face and morphing into sobs.

“Mom!”

He choked out, shattering me into pieces with how hoarse and scared he sounded. I tried shaking him back to present but all my efforts to do that proved abortive. My heart thumped wildly against my chest, fear engulfing me. At some point, it didn’t even look like he was breathing.

“Baby!”

“Arden, wake up!”

“It’s just a dream!”

I held onto him, shaking his stiff body. His incoherent speech morphed into loud sobs and whimpers. My hands cupped his face, trying to keep him in place.

“Try to keep your eyes open, please!”

“NO!” He screamed, the ear-shattering sound had my heart lurching to my throat, nearly causing me to jump out of my skin. He jolted upright, his breath coming out in loud wheezes. His vision seemed so blurry. His chest rose and fell rapidly, I could barely keep track of its movement. He had tears forming in his eyes and I knelt beside him, trying to get him to calm down, but he retreated from my touch, and that stung like a bitch.

“Get away from me!” He yelled and my tears spilled.

“Hey, you are okay now. Baby, it’s Peach. You are fine now.” I cooed, shifting closer. When I touched him this time, he seemed to have eased into my touch. I wasted no time in getting on his lap, gathering him in my arms, and cradling his head to my chest. He wrapped his arms around me so tightly, breaking down in my arms like a child. His shoulders quaked heavily with sobs as he held onto my shirt so tightly. I didn’t say anything. I just allowed him to cry his eyes out. He cried so hard in my arms like he wasn’t even scared of being vulnerable to me.

Tonight?

He just wanted to let everything out and I tried to be there for him as much as I could.

“You are okay, baby.”

“You are fine, baby.”

“It’s okay. I am here now.”

“Don’t leave me, Peach. I am so sorry.” He hiccuped, clinging onto me like his life depended on it. He buried his head in the crook of my neck, sniffing.Còntens bel0ngs to Nô(v)elDr/a/ma.Org

“I am not leaving you, Arden. It’s alright. Everything is fine now. I am here and I am never leaving you. You can hold me for as long as you want to.” I told him, enunciating every word I spoke, because I wanted him to know that I meant everything I said.

I was here to stay.

I didn’t care how bad it got.

For a moment, the only thing akin to sound in the room was our mixed breathing. It felt peaceful holding him in my arms. It felt peaceful that I made him feel safe. The silence was peaceful and I didn’t look forward to breaking it.

“Did I hurt you?” He asked, his voice sounding so hoarse. I didn’t miss how guilty he sounded and that made my heart clench.

“No, I am fine. You didn’t.” I lied smoothly. It wasn’t like I lied. He didn’t hurt me. His tight grip made my side hurt, but it wasn’t something I couldn’t handle.

“You are lying, Peach. Let me see.” He insisted and lifted my shirt, his hands massaging my body until it stopped around my waist and I couldn’t fight the sharp wince that exited my lips. He stiffened, his muscles growing tense. I reached out to touch his shoulders but he evaded my touch, not sparing so much as a glance in my direction.

“I hurt you, Peach,”

“You should leave. I don’t want you to see me like this.” His tone was dead and dismissive, but I saw past that facade. I saw a man who was trying to hide from me. A man who was scared of being so vulnerable to me and as understanding as I tried to be, it didn’t dispute the fact that I was hurt.

“What? No!”

“I am not leaving you, Arden!”

“Baby, baby, look at me.” I pleaded, cupping his face, and I heard him let out a strangled sob. I couldn’t fight the sigh-cry that escaped my lips as I connected our foreheads, breathing shakily.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I understand you, but baby, please, don’t shut me out. Don’t push me away. Let me help you. Let me help you get better. Let’s do this together. Don’t ask me to leave, Arden, because I won’t.”

“I am not leaving you, Arden. I didn’t come into your life to leave when things got rocky. Until our last breath, remember?” I queried, chuckling through my tears.

“Say it with me, my love.” I urged him and he tilted his eyes to meet mine. His teary green eyes locked with mine and I didn’t miss the look of admiration and pride that flickered in those hypnotic orbs. I trailed my hands from his elbow, gently slipping my fingers into his. I looked down to stare at the art in front of me, a light cry rippling through my mouth.

I looked up to see him staring at me already.

“Until our last breath,”

“Until our last breath,”

And with those words, we sealed that promise with a soft kiss. I adjusted myself on his lap and his hands came around me securely while I looped my arms around his neck, my fingers sinking into his lush curls in the process. He released a soft moan and I felt my skin prickle with goosebumps. He squeezed my waist and I felt tingles shooting through my spine. The kiss felt as though it unlocked something more intense between us and that had sparks coursing through me like zaps of electricity.

The kiss was soft, assuring and it expressed our unsaid thoughts. Things we knew in our mind but weren’t ready to say. I gently massaged his scalp, slipping my tongue into his mouth. He moaned into my mouth and that sound drove me to the edge. It made me breathless and was enough to rid me of my senses.

It felt like an awakening of some sort.

It felt like a promise.

It felt like we were bonding through that simple action.

He slowly broke off the kiss, leaving us a breathless mess. His eyes were steadily on mine, flickering with emotions I couldn’t bring myself to decipher. And slowly, I felt my eyes well up with tears, my lips stretching in a warm, assuring smile.

“If it’s not you, it’s not anyone.” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead and leaving to decode what he meant by what he just said. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, so I just willed myself to relish in the comfort his embrace brought me.

“Come on, let’s get you in the shower to cool off,” I spoke up, cupping his face and he nodded in response. I got off him, sliding my feet into my flip-flops. I stretched out my palm, so he could take it and he did so without hesitation.

I led him to the bathroom and quickly tied my hair in a messy bun. I looked up to see him gazing at me and my cheeks grew hot. I walked past him and helped him set up the shower. He got out of his sweatpants and stepped under the shower. I undressed and went in to join him, grabbing my body wash and shampoo, so I could wash him off. The bath was quick and we were soon out of the shower, changing into comfortable clothes.

My eyes strayed to the wall clock and I assessed the time. It was just past 3 am.

“Do you want to get something to eat downstairs?” I demanded softly.

“No, I am alright. I just want to get in bed with you.” He answered, stalking forward to meet me where I stood. He wrapped his arms around me and I inhaled his scent, loving the fact that he smelled just like me. He picked me off the floor like I weighed nothing and I squealed, the soft rumble vibrating against his chest. He chuckled and led us to the bed, dropping me gently.

He got under the covers and pulled me to himself, pressing a soft kiss on my forehead. I snuggled into him and he wrapped his arms around me, cocooning me in his warm embrace.

“Thank you, Peach.” He whispered.

“Why are you thanking me?” I asked, curiosity niggling at me.

“For everything. For wanting to stick around my annoying ass even when all I have done is get on your nerves. For wanting to be there for me. For not finding me exhausting.” He elaborated, stroking my hair. I exhaled, trailing circles on his chest with a smile on my face.

“You don’t have to thank me, it’s something I want to do. I am happy to do it.” I debunked him, subtly. It took a while for me to realize that he had already fallen asleep. I chuckled, snuggling into him, even more.

Arden made me feel safe.

He was my safe space.