The Love That Passed

Colleen’s POVMaterial © NôvelDrama.Org.

“Well, well, well… Look who’s here. I never thought that I would be able to see you.” Stacey said as soon as she saw me coming out of the restroom’s cubicle. I didn’t want to fight with her so I will just try to find a way to leave her but she stopped me when I just got out of the restroom.

“Why, you didn’t want me to see whom you are with now?” she asked and smirked, “Will it be that doctor who was always on your side?” she asked again. I didn’t want to reply to her so I decided to pass by her but she pulled me in arms which made me turn back at her.

“I know that you are going to die soon, so I will just let you borrow him.” she said and my eyes widened. I didn’t know how she managed to get that information because I was discrete about it. Mommy Claire or Ingrid will not tell her about it or even Dr. Gerard.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I replied casually. I didn’t want her to know that I was feeling threatened that she would be telling that to Jared.

“You are so good at hiding your feelings. I know you’re shocked that I found out about it. Don’t worry, I am not going to tell Jared because I didn’t want him to pity you and eventually fall for you. He’s mine and he still loves me. We are still seeing each other, you know.” she replied smirking and I was sad about that but ignored the feeling. And then I realized that it wasn’t easy for her to find out but not with her lover who was a politician. I smirked and said,

“I am not shocked, I know who your man is and it wasn’t impossible for him to know anything.” I told her and her eyes widened. “I am not telling it to Jared because I don’t really care about it or you.” I added. And suddenly, her eyes became watery.

“I am very sorry, Colleen. I just love Jared so much, but it was true that I am not seeing him anymore. Please don’t make a scene here.” she said and I wanted to laugh at her. She was really good in acting and I would never wonder when passersby would believe her.

Then I saw her eyes widened, looking behind me. I turned to see who or what she was looking at and I found Jared standing there. Did he hear our conversation? “Jared, I didn’t mean to stumble on her here.” she said and approached Jared while I followed her with my gaze then wrapped her arms around his and he didn’t shoved her away so I was a bit hurt while Stacey was smiling at me, mockingly.

A bit hurt because I thought we already had an understanding. We even came here to watch a movie after our little play in the arcade. “You wait for me on the seat next to the snack kiosk near the ticket booth.” he said and left with Stacey. His face was stoic and I don’t know whether he was angry or not.

Disappointed was an understatement with what I was feeling. I thought we are a bit OK, so why would he come with her and leave me alone. Even though that was the case, I still followed what he said and I went to the seat that he was talking about and waited for him. I didn’t want him to give me the idea that I was hurt with that although I started to feel a little uncomfortable.

After about 30 minutes, he came back. “Are you alright?” he asked and I nodded. “Come on.” he said and walked ahead. He didn’t hold my hand as he walked with me just like earlier but it’s fine and just ignored it.

It was a comedy movie and I was glad because it was really good. I always laughed every time the lead star would say his part. Then I felt a sudden pain in my chest so I stopped and I felt Jared’s hand but I shoved him. “I’m fine, I’m sorry, I’m not used to being touched.” I said. Although I was laughing at the movie, I was still hurt by what he did. The movie is not yet done but I think I need to go home already.

“I want to go home.” I told him after and I saw him stand up. I did too and followed him when he started to leave, but this time, he made sure to wait for me which I appreciate. It was dark inside the cinema and I had a hard time seeing plus the pain on my chest is not fading.

We managed to get out of the cinema and we walked back to the parking lot where his car was. Just like earlier he opened the passenger seat door for me and he went to the driver’s seat after I got in. “Are you sure you are OK?” he asked as he started driving. I was not looking at him and had my eyes closed trying to calm myself to at least not worsen the pain I was feeling.

“Yeah, I just need a rest.” I replied holding my chest.

“Why don’t we go to the hospital now?” he asked again.

“No, I know my body. I only need to rest.” I answered. I didn’t want to go and see the doctor with him. I don’t feel comfortable and I didn’t want him to know about my real condition. I don’t know whether he heard my conversation with Stacey or not. But I believed her when she told me that he may take pity on me and become extra caring with me. I didn’t like that.

“OK, but you have to tell me when it feels different. OK?” he said and I nodded. I didn’t want to talk anymore because it made me feel like catching my breath even more.

We arrived at home and I went straight to my bedroom. I can feel Jared following but I decided not to talk to him yet. I feel like I will only get mad if we talk about Stacey. I just hope he will never talk to me about her as well with regards to whatever he heard if there was any.

“I am going to rest now,” I told him and went straight to our bed.

“Are you going to sleep?” he asked.

“Not yet, I will just lie down and control my breathing. I can relax when I am alone.” I replied, hoping he will get what I mean.

“I’ll be in my study then.” he replied and I nodded. I sighed in relief after he left my room because I don’t know if I would be able to rest or calm myself if he was here. I was really hurt and I guess my heart is acting like this because of sadness. Is it a good idea to agree with him to give our marriage a chance? How long am I going to feel like this? Isn’t I just torturing myself because I know how I feel about him and I know that he will never return that feeling?