Chapter 51
Luca’s lips just barely, barely brush mine before I gasp and shove him away.
“Luca!” I shout, stumbling backwards a few steps and staring up at him with wide eyes.
“Oh my god, Ari!” he shouts, digging his hands into his hair and turning from me in frustration, clenching his jaw. “What are you seriously!? What are we even here for if we’re not going to –”
“Luca!” I shout again, stomping my foot and going completely rigid with my own anger. “You are not being fair – you told me to come here tonight for a conversation, and then you try to –” I hesitate now, stumbling over my words in my embarrassment, “what, make out with me!?”
Luca laughs an ironic little laugh and turns back at me, glaring. “Well, isn’t that the point, Ari? What do you want from me? Why are you pulling me into a secret dream if not to –“
“I don’t know!” I half shout, half moan, my arms stiff at my side as I turn my head up to the sky and press my eyes shut, overwhelmed and frustrated. “We just – we are not on the same terms here! And I don’t want to do anything with you unless –”
–
And then I halt my words, my cheeks blushing scarlet as I realize that I just admitted that I would want to kiss him if the terms are right.
When I tentatively open my eyes, I see that Luca picked up on it too. He’s smirking a little
to discover that he wasn’t wrong about this thing now, still frustrated but pleased – I think that’s between us. That it is not at all one–sided,
–
“Fine,” he snaps, taking another step closer to me. “Let’s have this conversation then. Why won’t you let me kiss you?”
I blink in shock at the bluntness of his words, but the way his smirk deepens makes me realize that he did it on purpose that he’s trying to unnerve me, probably because he’s
pissed.
I just narrow my eyes, pissed in turn that he’s deliberately not playing fair.
“Because, Luca,” I reply, a bit through my teeth. “I don’t know your motives for wanting to kiss me.”
“Do I need motives?”
“A little!” I say, taking a step back as he takes one forward. Elsewhere in the dream, my wolf gives a few happy yips of excitement, but I just scowl at her, annoyed. “I mean, I don’t want you to kiss me, Luca, if you’re just trying to…figure out your sexuality or something! I am…I am a whole person…”
He stops when I say this, turning his head to study me, suddenly more curious than he was before.
I lift my chin, continuing. “And I don’t want to be kissed as an experiment. I want to be…” I bite my lip now.
“Tell me,” he says, his voice soft.
I take a deep breath, not really knowing even what I mean. “I want…” I say softly, speaking the words as my mind finds them, “you to kiss me…because you want to kiss me. Not just some…shrimp you find yourself weirdly attracted to.”
“Ari,” Luca murmurs, still looking at me curiously, his expression and his stance somehow softer now. “What makes you think that I felt otherwise?”
“Well, I don’t know!” I burst out, throwing my hands to the side. “Are you – are you gay, Luca!? Do you like boys!?”
He laughs, shaking his head at me and slipping his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “Haven’t I already told you the answer to that, several dreams ago? I didn’t think I was attracted to guys, but then I met you, and everything got tossed up into the air –“
“Well,” I interrupt, staring at him, baffled. “Doesn’t that…does that bother you?”
“No,” he says instantly, narrowing his eyes at me a little. “Does it…bother you?”
“No,” I reply, but I turn my head at him, considering. “Wouldn’t it like…affect you, though?”
“What?” Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.
“I mean, you’re a celebrity, Luca!” I gesture towards him like it’s obvious. “I know that we live in a pretty progressive country and time, but it will affect your status in the world if people find out that you’re at Alpha Academy making out with a little shrimpy boy.”
Luca laughs and strides forward, surprising me by taking my face in his hands again. “Ari,” he murmurs, “I don’t care about any of that. All of that is outdated moral bullshit that should be tossed out the window. We get one life, and when you meet someone that you have a connection with? A connection like this?” He shakes his head, staring into my eyes, suddenly looking so overwhelmed and baffled by the connection between us that it breaks my heart.
“Ari,” he murmurs, dropping a hand from my cheek and wrapping his arm tight around my waist, pulling me suddenly flush against him. “Who fucking cares?”
And I stare at him, searching for words, for some kind of response –
But then he moves, dipping his head low, pressing his lips to mine again, more firmly this time like he means it.
And damn it, I break.
I’m out of protests, out of words, and I just…kiss him.
My bodily response to him is immediate, and visceral, and intense.
–
A tiny moan escapes me as my eyes flutter shut and arms wrap around his neck. I lean my entire weight against him, not really intending to do it my body is moving beyond me now. His lip slants over mine, his tongue pressing into my mouth in a way that sends shivers streaking through my entire body.
Luca’s mouth moves swiftly over mine, and every single second of it just sings to me with how right it is. I pull my mate closer as his arms wrap tight around my waist, forcing me to bend my head back on my neck, to submit to him completely.
And I do – I let Luca claim me with his mouth, with his arms, with his body pressed against me. I kiss him right back, maring at the way that his soft lips can press so hard against
mine, at how his tongue moving over my lower lip can make my breath come so short. God it’s insane, the sudden relief and solace that floods me, because it feels so incredibly right.
–
I realize, quite suddenly, that I waited far too long for this
–
that my soul has been aching for him, for the feel of his mouth against me, his body pressed close. I am hungry for Luca in a way that feels desperate, like an animal long denied water. And like I’ve suddenly found a pool after days alone in the desert, I throw myself into this with abandon.
The fervor with which I kiss Luca suddenly intensifies, and I open my mouth to him completely. He takes full advantage of the situation, deepening the kiss, his tongue
sweeping against mine, a hard shudder passing through him as one of my hands wraps in the fabric of his sweatshirt and pulls him close
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But it’s not enough, none of it’s enough none of it is getting him as close as I need him to be. My other hand tangles in Luca’s hair as he moves his lips from my mouth, dragging his tongue across my jaw and down my neck like he could devour me
―
A groan escapes Luca as he stumbles forward a step, as lost in me as I am in him, and then the hand that was around my waist dips lower, sliding down over my ass to grip me high on the back of my thigh.
gasp, a shiver running through me, and I pull back for a moment as Luca’s hand moves – because no one has ever touched me there –
–
But he holds my gaze and just shakes his head, determined, before he presses his mouth back to mine and tightens his grip, pulling me up – up into his arms, so that our faces are level, so that he’s actually holding me against him, my feet no longer on the ground.
I groan, wrapping my legs around his waist, knowing full well that I am in deep trouble here and not giving a damn.