Novel Square
Chapter 364
Chapter 0364
I press my lips together and keep my gaze on his face, not letting myself look away. But also not denying, at all, the way that Luca and I feel about each other. Because I don't want to lie and Luca is..so important to me.
"So what do we do?" I whisper, desperate to make it better. I can't go on with Jacks feeling like this - I don't want to make him feel like this ever, ever again.
"I think... maybe I just don't need to put myself in positions where I see it?" Jacks says, tentative.Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.
"What do you mean?" I whisper.
"I mean," he shrugs, "... think I want boundaries. You have your space with Luca, and your space with me, and...I think I'd like to know as little about the details about the time you spend with Luca as possible. I mean, within reason," he continues, giving a little frown. "It's not like I won't ever be in the same room with you two again, and hugging and holding hands seems....fine. I just.."
He exhales again, deeply, and looks up at the ceiling.
"Tell me," I urge, wanting to know.
"I really..kind of wanted to kill him," Jackson whispers, and I can hear the guilt in the words as he utters them. "And even though I knew that feeling was wrong, and that I'd never do it, and that it would only hurt you..." he turns his head back to me. "It was a visceral, bodily reaction to seeing someone connect with my mate, I think. I don't...like feeling that way."
"Okay," I say, nodding quietly, understanding. "I..um. I don't know how to work that out, precisely. But I will, all right? More boundaries. I promise. I'm sorry, Jacks."
"Don't be sorry, please," he begs, rolling back towards me and taking me in his arms just the way I like him to. "None of it is your fault. You're just...living the life you were handed, Ariel. You can't feel guilty about that." And then he wraps me up so safe, so secure, and tucks his head down against my shoulder as my heart breaks that he felt that way.
I comb my fingers gently through Jackson's hair then, hurmming softly to him, pulling up feelings of comfort and softness and assurance and passing them all down our fully open bond, hoping they help him relax.
"It got a lot better," he murmurs, his words muffled by his head still tucked down by my shoulder. "When you came and knocked on my door."
I laugh a little. "Oh, yeah?" He presses a kiss to that spot on my neck before he lifts his head to smile at me.
"Yes," he says, nodding. "I was...going a little crazy, wondering what you were getting up to with him all night. Partying, and having fun, and...dancing and stuff. All things I can't do."
I laugh a little harder now, shaking my head at him. "You can party, Jacks, everyone can party with as much liquor as we had. And I'm sure you're an excellent dancer."
He scoffs at me, lowering his head again and kissing that same spot like it's his, like he owns it. "I've never danced a single step in my life, Ariel."
"Yeah, but if you tried," I say, a tingling starting in my core as Jackson keeps going. continuing to press kisses to my skin all the way to the edge of my shoulder, and then moving down. "I'm sure you'd be great at it."
He flicks his eyes up at me for a moment before continuing to trail kisses back towards my throat, and then lower. "What makes you think that?"
"Because," I say, my voice a little breathier now, even as I smile and drift my fingers through his silky dark hair. "I've seen you move, Jacks, you're incredibly good at controlling your body. I'm sure you'd figure out rhythm in an instant."
He hums consideringly, but like he doesn't believe it, and my breath comes a little faster as he presses kiss after kiss down the center of my chest, and then down my stomach.
And then I can't stand it not any more my mouth jealous of every other piece of me that's getting attention when it is not. I sit up sharply, grabbing his shoulders, pulling him back up towards me. "Please," I beg, leaning back, pulling him with me.