The Haunted’s Kiss of Regret and Repentance

“Please tell me I’m dreaming right now, and this is not real. Please tell me Rian didn’t commit suicide,” I felt like I could faint, and all I could hear was my ragged breathing and loud heartbeat. “This is all my fault, and I know he wouldn’t have killed himself if I didn’t leave him.”

“Shyne, calm down and breathe,” Perry held my arm, and Izzy took away my phone. “Don’t faint on us, Shyne. You need to calm yourself down and remember that his decision to kill himself was his own choice. Do you hear me, Shyne?”

I heard Perry’s words, but my vision was getting blurry, and I did my best to avoid passing out completely. Tears kept falling from my eyes as realization dawned on me.

“Perry, he killed himself because of me. He killed himself because of me, and he even dared to sell his soul to the devil to prove his point!”

“Sis, that’s enough, stop, don’t believe that. Rian took his own life, and no one forced him to do it, not even you. Unfortunately, he died this way, but no one is to be blamed but himself.”

“Izzy’s right Shyne, he made one wrong decision after another, and you never forced him to do it.”

“No, no, no, you don’t understand, guys. I-I AM part of the reason he’s dead. He-I-I never went to him and gave him the proper closure. I should’ve spoken to him when I had the chance”.

“You never had the chance, is, and we all know that. Mom and dad would never allow you to get that chance even if you both wanted to”.

“I had the chance, Izzy, I just never took it,” I saw the two of them look at me in confusion, “I had the chance a few months before Rian killed himself.”

I took a deep breath, and the three of us had a silent understanding to get comfortable as I had an internal battle between myself of whether I should tell them or not.

“Shyne, the time for contemplating is up, and you need to talk, NOW.”

“Perry’s right, sis, you need to spill, or else you’ll drown in your own secrets. We have been through this multiple times, sis,” the exasperation in her voice was enough to make me wince.

“Alright, alright, I’ll spill, but only if you guys promise to let me finish first before the both of you get all dramatic.”

“We promise.” They said in unison.

“The truth is, Rian was able to contact me using someone else’s account a few months ago. The guy told me that he wanted to be friends and that he was doing great in life. Rian said he was trying to fix himself so that we could at least be friends. At first, I agreed and told him we could only be friends if he forgot our past and that we should only be friends from afar”. I recalled the happy laugh he gave me and the momentary relief I felt from the guilt and anger I once had.

“A few days later, he kept texting and chatting with me too frequently, and I told him that my parents are monitoring my every move, and I knew I could never meet up with him even as a friend. He got angry at first and then, later on, told me that he’d make a way to see me without the risk of my parents knowing. I ignored his promise and told my friend Sweet about Rian’s plans since she knew about Rian and me when I was still back at our house.”NôvelD(ram)a.ôrg owns this content.

“Okay, sis, hold up, let me get this straight. You told Sweet this but didn’t even bother telling either Perry or me? I think you are turning crazier by the day. I mean, what could she do for you?”

“I know that, Izzy, but at that time, I didn’t think that the issue would explode like this” I internally groaned at my sister’s point. “Anyway, when I told Sweet about it, she told me that her little sister was Rian’s classmate in high school. She said that Rian was telling everyone about everything that he and I were doing in the bedroom a few years ago.”

“What?! He TOLD people about what you guys were doing in bed and had the guts to tell you he’s trying to fix things for YOU?! Is that man a psycho or what?! I’m sorry for his deceased condition, but he makes me want to go there and punch him in the balls”.

“I agree with Perry, I feel sorry for his way of death, but I still want to give Rian a piece of my mind. I mean, what kind of person would do that after claiming that you’re the love of his life?!”

“Guys, relax, there’s more, and you’ll explode after I tell it to you. Rian also told all of his classmates and the entire family in his village that he got me pregnant. He also told them that I suddenly left because I tried to hide the baby from him. After all, my parents never wanted him for me”.

“Rian did what?! Oh my goodness! That man had the nerve to even THINK of going back to you after that?! Plus, he made a deal with the devil, and now YOU are the one suffering?! That is it! I need a LOT of salt and holy water ASAP before I bad mouth the guy too much”.

I laughed at Perry’s outburst, and for a second, it lessened the tension I was feeling.

“Girl, I think you have been watching too many paranormal shows. All we need to do is find a way to cut this bond he had with my sister”.

“You talk like we’re just looking for something in a grocery store, Izzy. This is a paranormal voodoo wack, and I am NOT going to just ignore it. Shyne, you need to have someone beside you at all times, and I volunteer Izzy”.

“Oh sure, volunteer, the one who is both living almost two hours away from here and is a minor,” Izzy’s sarcasm is on point, and I couldn’t blame Perry for side-eying her.

I decided to get back to the issue at hand. Because at this point, just telling both of them what I found out made me infuriated and guilty at the same time.

“When I confronted him, he asked for forgiveness from me, and I just went blank, and I went on a rant for ten minutes. He tried to explain himself, but I just told him to never contact me again and blocked every account he tried to use to contact me”.

“A rant is acceptable because if that were me, I would’ve told your mom and just let her deal with him.”

“I thought about that, but I decided that I didn’t need the extra drama. A few days later, Rian sent me a message that said his father had died. He wanted to talk to me since I knew his father, and the man was fond of me whenever I was at their house. However, I denied his offer and just said my condolences. That was the last time that Rian and I ever spoke properly, and he stopped bothering me completely”.

An unsettling silence fell on the room, and by then, I’d forgotten the shadow that was with us the entire time. When I slyly looked for it, it was gone, and I was somewhat relieved.

“Guys, look at Rian’s post the day his dad died,” Izzy showed us Rian’s Facebook post. “He posted another Latin text, and according to google, it means: The tears I shed will be the binds that I offer to the dead.”

As the dark presence returned, a chill went up to my spine, but I didn’t feel fear this time. I felt sadness as I scrolled lower to check what else Rian posted before his death.

“You can run from me, but you can never escape me. I will forever be in your mind and imprison your heart,” I read aloud the words, and a tear fell from my eyes. I read more of the posts that were written in English, “The world will forget, but in my world, your name is my only memory left.”

“Check out his last post guys, it was a week before he died,” Lizzy did her best translating the words, “It says, the love and hurt I will feel will be multiplied to the heart of my heart. The eternity I am promised to enter is my destination when I depart”.

“So that means Rian’s final offering was not your photos or clothes,” Perry’s whisper was loud enough for my aching heart to hear.

“Yeah, sis, his last sacrifice was his own life so he could be bound to you for eternity.”

All three of us screamed when we heard the loud knock from the flat’s door, and the two of us looked at Izzy to open the door.