The Glimpse of My Past

Diane’s P. O. V.

“Diane, are you still not done?” Sheena asked.

She was the only one who had a high-pitched voice among my colleagues in the finance team. She was also one of my friends here, who had the Account Supervisor role. She was my batchmate in terms of passing the CPA board exam, but she already graduated last year and worked here first.

“J-Just a minute and I’m coming out…” I snorted in response. I tried to hide it, but I couldn’t help and let her know that I was crying. Based on the tone of my voice, it was indeed obvious and Sheena wasn’t naive like me not to sense it.

“Oh my God, Diane! Are you crying? Sorry, we were not able to join you for lunch because Sir Liam talked to you for quite a long time. Have you eaten your lunch, huh? Or, is there something wrong with your reports? Oh my God, did the CEO scold you?” Sheena sounded too worried while asking me a lot of questions.Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

I just really wished that I was reprimanded by the CEO, Sheena. Because it would even be a lot better. Receiving a scold would not make me a cry-baby like this, and that would be much easier to accept. What I received was heartache, and I didn’t know when I would be healed again!

“N-No, Sheena… don’t think that way. I wasn’t scolded, and I’m perfectly fine. Don’t worry about me, okay? It’s just that… my stomach hurts a little. I couldn’t properly digest what I ate,” I told her. It seemed like since Liam and I met each other, I had become more of a liar.

“Huh? Okay, but wait for me here. I’ll ask for some medicines in the clinic. I’ll be right back!” Sheena instructed before I heard her rushing steps away from the restroom. A few seconds later, I could hear the sliding door opened, indicating that she already went outside our office.

I took a deep breath, then forced myself to smile in front of the mirror. I tried to convince myself that I was really okay and flawlessly fine, even though I was not.

And I would never be at all! I loved Liam, and it was making me feel scared. My love for him was so strong-it could be both my strength and weakness. My emotions could recklessly destroy me in just a matter of seconds, that I couldn’t even know how to turn them down. I couldn’t restrain myself from loving him so much.

Tears were still streaming down my face when I realized that I didn’t want to be like this-I felt so pathetic, prompting me to bow my head in despair. I was suffocated by jealousy, and this wasn’t me. I was raised by my father to be strong-willed, and I could not fail him.

To clear my mind, I immediately washed my face because my black eyeliner had already spread at both of my cheeks. I was trying to fix myself while looking at my face in the mirror.

Following the number of water droplets from my face was how frequent I blinked my eyes while resisting myself not to cry ever again. My eyes were puffy, and I no longer had any makeup on my face-even a slight shade of lipstick. Now, I couldn’t help myself again but feel self-pity.

You are beautiful, Diane… but Isabelle is still way much better than you. What do you have against someone who was a foreigner, born with a silver spoon, more educated than you, and even a lot sexier? Nothing. Liam would only toss you when he was already done with you.

I set aside my thoughts while wiping my face with a paper towel. Then, I found myself texting Lorenz if he was still here in EGC. I was taking my chance if I could hitch a ride with him.

Soon after, my cellular phone beeped, and he replied. It was a good thing that Lorenz was still here, and he even asked me where he could fetch me. Knowing how my officemates were fangirling him, I just told him to wait for me in the lobby.

Whether Liam liked it or not, I would go home with Lorenz, and I would never stay again in his unit while we were still having this quarrel. He wouldn’t be able to convince me to just forget everything quickly.

My eyes were still swollen when I exited the office restroom. Then, I headed straight towards my cube. Using my compact mirror to see myself, I just applied a little amount of lipstick and concealer. These somehow made my face glow.

They did not even ask why I would have wanted to undertime, most especially, Miss Shey. I just told them that I would be clocking out earlier for now because my stomach suddenly felt so bad. It was lies after lies-white lies to cover everything up.

I was glad that even though I didn’t tell them the real story, I knew they understood me. Sheena even gave me a medicine pill, and I was thankful for it. At the same time, I was guilty. I made her rush to the clinic for this when I was only lying.

My best friend was gentleman enough to wait, and I even saw him waiting for me in front of the elevator on the ground floor. He asked me about what happened, but I just sealed my lips. We were already in the lobby when I saw Liam chasing after us. My heart thumped so fast, and that made me feel confused about what to do next.

As a result, I swiftly grabbed Lorenz by his left arm without any permission and accelerated my pace even more while dragging him, at the same time, getting away from Liam. My best friend could do nothing about it and just sighed with hopelessness as if he was already involved in this lover’s quarrel I had with my boyfriend.

My boyfriend? But is he really mine?

“Diane, wait! Please, let me explain.” Liam grabbed my left hand, which I immediately took away from him.

My lips were firmly pressed together, and I didn’t want to talk to him. I just continued to walk away while still clinging to my best friend. I knew that people were starting to look at us here, but I didn’t care about it anymore. The three of us might look like a love triangle for those who didn’t know us, but I wouldn’t give a damn at all.

Lorenz and I already reached the underground parking lot, but Liam was still rushing towards us. I was the champion of the track and field race way back in my high school years, so I could beat a man in terms of that… not until Liam successfully blocked the two of us.

“Lorenz, could you please give us some privacy so that Diane and I could talk?” He almost pleaded.

“No, Lorenz… please, just stay. Don’t leave, please…” I begged while sobbing, tightening my grip on him. I didn’t know when I started crying again, maybe from the moment I saw Liam in the lobby.

On the other hand, Lorenz seemed to be muddled as to which side he would take on. He just heaved a deep sigh out of confusion before turning his gaze to Liam, then me. He removed my grip while looking straight into my eyes. Based on how he stared at me, he was silently beckoning me to talk to Liam.

“Please, Diane. Okay, if you don’t want Lorenz to leave, then let him hear what I am going to say. Isabelle is not my girlfriend, and she had never been-” he started to explain, but I already cut the rest of what he would like to tell me.

Jealousy was still eating me up, so I couldn’t help but raise my voice at Liam. The hurt was still fresh, I was mad at him, and I didn’t know when it would last.

“So, how would you expect me to react, huh? What was that scene earlier in the elevator, Liam? Nothing? How would you explain that? If it was nothing for you, then it means something to me. Also, why would Isabelle even say that she’s your girlfriend if she was not? And what about that last conversation before you parted in the States? Please, stop lying to me!”

He held my hands with warmth, and I just let him do that. I still loved him no matter what.