The Glimpse of My Past

Diane’s P. O. V.

To give what I asked for, Liam took me to his condo. It was located at one of the famous condotels in Quego del Mar-The LC Towers. The luxurious place was composed of three sky-rocketing towers, all reaching up to fifty floors. His unit was situated on the twelfth floor of LC1 Tower. 

A sudden nervousness crept me up, and a nameless dread streamed throughout my blood when we were in front of his unit. I couldn’t help but gulp when Karen and I’s conversation replayed through my mind. It was a simple talk about not being completely alone with a man in a private place for us to stay virgins, or else something would surely happen.

Relax, Diane! You have to fully trust him, that’s why you wanted to talk to him. This is for you to end all of your emotional baggage and unnecessary overthinking.

Being at the place where he lives is one way to know him more. He’s your boyfriend, so there’s nothing wrong at all!

Remember, he did not take advantage of you last Saturday night that you were together on a single bed. He can still give the same respect to you now that you’re already his girlfriend.

Liam opened the door as I dismissed my subconscious thoughts. We entered his unit, left our shoes beside the door, and wore some home slippers.

“I’ll buy you a pair next time. I think, couple slippers and some couple shirts would suit both of us,” he blissfully commented after noticing that the slippers were indeed big for me. My shoe size was only seven, and his slippers were about sized eleven.

As I gazed around the whole area, I could say that his condo unit was so simple. It was too manly because it only consists of plain black and white patterns-with not much of an interior design. The large white sofa with a glass table was located at the center, and from the back of it was the black curved staircase that would take you to the second-floor level. The crystal chandelier modernized with a fan was breathtaking to look at as well.

On the left side were two doors. The first one might be a comfort room while the other one might be a guest room. I wasn’t sure though. Some paintings in grayscale hues were appealingly hanged in the wall. Just a little below one canvas was a fifty-five-inch flat-screen television, PlayStation, and speakers.

On the right side was, I guessed, a small corridor that would lead you to the kitchen. The right half of the first floor doesn’t have any interior design as it doesn’t have anything. It was just a large tiled floor covered with a white-furred carpet.

“Make yourself comfortable here, my love. Consider this as your unit too, because everything under my possession was also yours,” he told me before kissing my forehead, and that simple gesture made my heart melt and anticipate for more.

After settling myself on his cozy European-styled sofa, my eyes wandered around the whole surrounding. Everything was clean, and the ambiance was radiating. He was truly rich, and our social status was so much different-it was so impossible for me to reach him. For that thought, I sighed exasperatedly.

On the other hand, Liam went straight to the corridor that connects to what I thought was his kitchen. When he returned, he was holding two glasses of iced tea. Getting thirsty, I took one from him.

“Thanks.” I could barely hear my voice before drinking into the glass. I cleared my throat before placing the half-content glass on the center table.

He sat down next to me and gently held my two hands. “Now… what’s bothering you, sweetheart?” he asked as I felt the warmth of his hands. I looked straight into his eyes and saw that he was still calm. He had no idea about the rumor that I would ask him now.

Confused about how I would start it, I swallowed first before asking him. “D-Did you know someone like Lorenz Villadares?”

He nodded after thinking for a while. “Hmm, is he from Villadares Group of Companies? It’s one of our partnered business companies in the textiles industry. Yeah, I think I know him. He might be the son of Horenz Villadares. Why did you ask?” He took a sip on his glass.

“He’s my classmate and one of my best friends. A thesis groupmate as well,” I replied, introducing to him who Lorenz was.

“Oh, is he your gay classmate? Hmm, what about him?” he questioned. Some light wrinkles could be seen on his forehead. It looked like he didn’t have any clue as to where our discussion would be going.

“Liam, I just want you to be h-honest with me…” I muttered with a voice thick of fear.

Everything felt so heavy. It was hard, but I needed to interrogate Liam because curiosity was indeed killing me. My heart thumped so fast, and fear crept within me as I started to be in a complete state of panic.

How could I start asking him about the thing I recently found out? What if it was really just a rumor, and it wasn’t even proven to be factual?

How could I start opening about something negative that happened to him in the past? What if he had already forgotten about it for a long time and he didn’t want to remember it now?

He smiled at me before caressing my left cheek. “Diane, you’re killing me. Please go straight to the point, sweetie. I’m getting nervous about what you really want to tell me. Feel free to go on. I promise to respond with all honesty.”

Perplexed, I heaved a deep sigh out of the muddle.

“Y-You are here in the Philippines three years ago, right? But w-why did you leave?” I stuttered. I turned my face away from his hand because I could not even look directly into his eyes. I felt guilty because it was obvious from my actions that I was doubting him.

“I went to the States to study my post-graduate MBA at Harston Corporate University and to take care of our business there,” he calmly replied to me before drinking again from his iced tea.

“I’m sorry, Liam. I-I shouldn’t have doubted you.” I bowed my head and scratched my nails.

“What are you trying to say, sweetie? You can trust me, I’m all ears.” Liam gently raised my chin and motioned me to look at him.

As I stared at his handsome face, I saw how he furrowed his eyebrows. It looked like he was still clueless, although his eyes were expressing too many emotions.

“Please, Liam… please promise me that you will not be angry with Lorenz, huh? He told me that there was a certain r-rumor before about… about you… no, I’m sorry, I’m confused.” I stopped myself from continuing my sentence and just bit my lower lip hard.

I wasn’t sure if I could still continue what I wanted to tell him. I was shivering and sweating too, thinking how I could voice out about him being a former drug addict. It was making my chest feel so hefty that I couldn’t even breathe. I didn’t like this feeling. I couldn’t do it.Exclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.

Silence reigned between us for a few minutes, until…

“Ah, okay. I finally got it, Diane. So, you want to know the truth behind that rumor?” The smile on his lips quickly faded. For a fraction of seconds, his calm face transitioned into being serious. I couldn’t even trace the exact location of his dimple.

From there, he already knew what I wanted to tell him. I bowed again because of guilt. I closed my eyes because I was blaming myself for this.

What am I doing, and why am I even doing this to Liam? Is it right for me to doubt the person I love when everything already happened in the past?

“Alright. I promise not to be mad at Lorenz for disclosing that rumor to you but promise me first that you’ll never change what you feel for me, Diane. I’m not sure what I will do if you will decide to leave me after knowing how stained my past was.” His voice got streaked with sadness, and he sounded like he was begging, at the same time, being dragged down.

That was when I looked at him. I saw the pleading in his eyes, but I did not know why I suddenly got so nervous. From Liam’s mouth, I would now be able to know the whole truth.

But am I prepared for this? What if he wasn’t really the perfect prince charming… I expected him to be?