Chapter 164
Chapter 164
Fifty-Seven: Joselin
Joselin’s P.O.V.
I left the crystal hanging from the dagger in the ceiling.
Two guards were tasked with the job of watching and writing down every location Cora went to. Once we had all the data, we would have a better chance of figuring out what she was up to. Once we found her final location, we could attack. But first, we needed to be prepared for whatever trap she was setting.
The thought that she could be going around and capturing innocent witches, draining them to become stronger, came to mind. But she was moving too fast as she popped from place to place. She was going to exhaust herself and her magic quickly.
I sprinted down the halls, Tobias hot on my heels. The guards opened the door to Natalie’s study for me before I reached it, and I barreled in.
They had brought up a bed from the infirmary. Flora and one of the other healers hovered over Cyrus, asking him questions. But his eyes were locked on me, and he didn’t answer a single one.
The need to drop to my knees and apologize was burning through me. I wanted to beg for forgiveness, but my regret and guilt turned my stomach to stone.
His pale yellow eyes looked dull and lifeless as he ignored the healers. I stepped toward him, his eyes welled with tears, and my hesitant steps turned into a jog as I rushed across the room.
I had never been one to seek physical affection or comfort from others,and giving it to them was just as out of character. But seeing the familiar anguish and hopelessness in Cyrus’s eyes, I couldn’t help myself from wrapping my arms around him and holding his head to my chest as he cried.
The room remained silent; even Tobias didn’t react to the intimate moment. I think they were all too stunned by my reaction. Even I was a bit taken aback.
Still, seeing the man, the one who had wormed his way into my family and my heart like the little brother I never had, crying broke me.
My fingers combed through his blonde hair as I pulled myself up to sit next to him on his bed, and he gripped my waist. He felt so vulnerable and weak.
For once, it was something that I didn’t hold over him like I would anyone else.
Talia had raised me to see weakness as a flaw, something that made people worth less. She was wrong. She had been wrong about everything.
’I can still feel it.” His words had me holding him tighter, wanting to stop his pain and fight his demons. My chest was growing wet with what I could only assume were tears and snot as he let out a shuttered sob. ’How do I make it stop?”
My head shook back and forth slowly as I felt my eyes well up, and my lips trembled. It took a moment for me to collect myself, to swallow down the emotion that it wasn’t my turn to show. Once I was calm, I pressed a firm kiss to his hair.
’You can’t. It will take time for the pain to lessen. The.Jhe feeling of someone ripping your soul open is traumatizing and hurts more than any physical pain ever could.” I felt his fingertips press harder into my back, and I clenched my teeth together as his cries grew louder.
That had been the wrong thing to say.
I turned my head, meeting Tobias’s eyes, and I knew he saw my plea for help.
‘Give him hope, sweetheart. Tell him something to look forward to.’
I closed my eyes, resting my cheek on Cyrus’s head as I tried to think about what helped me. I had been a tortured soul when I was brought here. The trauma I experienced shaped me into the fucked up person that I was today, but there was only one thing that made it better.
When I was hiding in that hollowed log, that little boy popping his head inside and offering me his hand changed my life. He felt and looked like a drop of sun in a dark world. After he pulled me out, I refused to let him go.
I was covered by an oversized jacket, and questions were flung at me from all angles, but I pressed myself into that boy’s side and held on for dear life. He had felt safe to me.
I spoke to Tobias using the mate link and felt warmth flow through our bond from him at my words. ‘It was you. You were what gave me hope and kept me alive. Have some guards collect Blanche and some of her belongings. She should stay here to be close when he is ready to see her.’
There was no need for me to wait for a response. I knew Tobias would run it by Killian and then do as I requested immediately. He trusted and loved me.
‘It will hurt for a while. You will have nightmares and think about it often, but over time it will be less and less. At first, it may be every night. Then every other night. Until eventually, you only think or dream about it every few weeks or months.’ From the noise he made, that wasn’t the correct answer either.
Fuck. It was so hard to comfort other people.
Was this the time to apologize and tell him it was all my fault? He asked me to protect him, and I handed him over on a silver platter. No. He couldn’t know that this had happened because of me and the blood I had taken from him. Not right now. Not when I was the one he was seeking comfort from.
He needed someone he trusted, and even though I felt like I had unintentionally betrayed him in the worst possible way, I had to be the person he could count on right now.
’I could feel it, Joselin!’ He pulled back, his eyes boring into mine. “I could feel her cutting into my flesh and the chains around my wrists and ankles.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, remembering that feeling. It was horrible. There were times that I would wake up, and for a moment, my bed would feel like stone. The morning Tobias tied me up, the brief second of fear that I was back in the woods being chained up made me feel sick before I realized I was safe because I was with him.
My trust in him pushed any thought of my past from my mind, but I would have reacted differently if it hadn’t been over fifteen years since that traumatic experience. I had worked hard to overcome my trauma. Cyrus still had a very long journey ahead of him.
‘I can still feel it.” His voice cracked, n.ove.lx.o and I heard Natalie sniffle behind me.’ How… I can’tJt was so dark in that place.”
’I know it was. But you made it. You’re going to be okay.” I whispered, pulling his face back against me. It wasn’t just because I wanted to comfort him. I also couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t see the despair and the way his eyes had dimmed.
He wore his expressions on his sleeve, and anyone who saw him could see that today… he had died a little inside. Part of him had been stolen, and he would spend a long time trying to figure out how to get that part of himself back.
He never would, but I wasn’t going to be the one to tell him that. I was here to support him. People didn’t seek me out for comfort, so I had to imagine the he wanted me because I had lived through it.
Cyrus wanted the reminder that people could survive what he went through. I wasn’t the same person I was before, but I lived.
‘You have people here, Cyrus,” I whispered. My voice sounded coarse, and I cleared my throat. “You aren’t alone. When you are ready, we can even call Blanche in. I’m sure she would love to see you. Having people around you who care is the only way to begin to heal.”
’I don’t think souls can heal.” His mutter was heartbreaking, and he sniffled. ’She didn’t leave any physical marks behind.”
I scoffed. ‘Please. As if you could pull off these marks as well as I do.”
My eyes rolled as if it were just light banter between us, the same way things always were. But my body was still tense, my mind was still in turmoil, and my heart hurt for him.
‘Yeah, right. I would rock that look. You would be jealous.” His half-hearted reply was painful to hear as it came out devoid of emotion.
‘I’m sure I would.” There was a long silence in the room, even though several people were breathing heavily and sniffling. Flora seemed to be the loudest at the moment as they watched our interaction, but I knew once Blanche showed up, she would make everyone’s ears bleed as she fawned over Cyrus.
‘Don’t call Blanche. I’m not ready to see her.”
I wanted to warn him against waiting. Tobias had found me right away, and without him, I wasn’t sure how deep that darkness would have dragged me. The longer he let his trauma suffocate him, the harder it would be to breathe later.
“You shouldn’t be alone right now.’ My fingers pushed back the hair that was tickling my chin as his cheek remained pressed to my chest. His face wasn’t on my breasts, and I was grateful that my
discomfort for being touched had been lessening. He needed this, and after seeing that his blood had been stolen from my chamber, I think I needed it too.
I needed to feel him breathing and hear his annoying banter. If I didn’t get to see that he was okay, I would have lost my mind or let my anger drive my actions.
’I’m not alone.” He sighed, and I felt his eyelashes brush along my skin as he blinked. Content © NôvelDrama.Org.
‘No, you’re not.” I watched Natalie move to his other side, placing her hand on his arm to show her support. Initially, she had been unsure of him, but just like he did with everyone else, he wore her down quickly.
Cyrus turned his head and smiled at her before letting his head fall back against my bicep beneath his head.
‘Thank you for bringing me here.”
Another stab of guilt washed through me, and I forced a smile. The thoughts swarming my head were so loud. Too loud.
I should have brought you somewhere else. I should have kept you safe as I promised.
‘Goddess! It’s like I am still in her head. Every time I close my eyes, I am back there! I think… I’m going to be sick.” He groaned. I jumped from the bed, earning a dirty look from him as his head dropped back down suddenly onto the mattress. I didn’t do vomit, let alone vomit on me.
A trash can was handed to me, and I quickly shoved it to Cyrus as his words sank in. My eyes widened. “Wait, you were in Cora’s head? Did you see anything?”
Cyrus could have the answer. He could tell me exactly where she was going and what she was up to. This could be our in.
He shook his head, his face turning green. ‘No, I was in Rona’s. I saw everything.”