#3 Chapter 2
CHAPTER ONE
Mimi
I look crazy sitting at the back of the coffeehouse with a dazed expression on my face.
I’m… just staring at the wall.
That is all I’m doing.
Sitting and staring.
I’ve been here for over an hour now. The cup of hot chocolate before me, once steaming, is now cold.
I’m supposed to be meeting Gina. I need her wisdom today or at least her listening ear.
Gina has been my best friend since I was ten. Only she can calm me down when I get like this.
We meet here often for breakfast but she knows from my message earlier that today will be one of those days when I need to talk.
She’ll call me crazy when she gets here. Not for how I look but for the fact that I’m sitting here contemplating Salvatore’s offer.
Every time I remember his words and what he did my skin heats and I get so hot and aroused from the memory.
I could say hand on heart that anybody who’d seen me with Salvatore over the last year would think I was absolutely crazy if they knew I was sitting here weighing up the pros and cons of his offer.
My answer should be yes.
Straight up.
No need to think.
With the crazy way I’ve been going on with him it shouldn’t stump me. Many days over the last year have seen me making up some ridiculous excuse just to see him.
I can’t find my keys, I forgot how to make coffee, I need you specifically to help me find the TV remote.
It’s just crazy. I can’t even compare it to the shit teenagers get up to because most teens I know find excuses to hook up and have sex.
What’s worse is we work at The Dark Odyssey. A sex club. His sex club.
Sex should be on the menu. Working at the club it’s become a normal part of our lives. What’s not normal is that we haven’t done it yet.
What’s not normal is falling asleep naked together because it’s hot, even when it’s cold. The man has probably seen me topless more times than any guy I’ve been with.
The stifling heat had nothing to do with me falling asleep next to him last night wearing nothing but my panties.
Nobody does that, no matter how well you know a person, or how long you’ve been friends there is no excuse under the sun that would justify my actions. Other than to admit that I wanted what happened next.
I did.
I wanted the physical, that’s what I wanted. With the flirting and blurred lines between us I completely expected the physical that happened next.
What I didn’t expect was his request to be his.
That’s the part that woke me up and made me cast my mind over the big picture.
I am his babygirl… and I’d be damn stuck on stupid if I didn’t see all it would mean to be his doll.
There’s just more to my story than he knows.
More than being torn between emotions for him, a man I’m totally crazy about, and more than getting over the fact that for a long time I truly believed I was head over heels in love with his brother.
Gabe…
Salvatore could be my possible future if I allow it. Gabe was the past, but… so much happened with him that deeply hurt me.
Much that very few know about.
And…there is the conflict that nags my mind and knots my insides.
The thing that sent me here.
The lesson I learned from loving Gabe, loving him wholeheartedly. A man who never loved me.
That lesson gave me a rude awakening, a very rude awakening that pushed me to take a long hard look at my life. Now I feel like I’m at a fork in the road of my path with the option of being the same old Mimi, or choosing to be something else.
Something where I can just rely on me.
I sip my hot chocolate and look around the coffeehouse.
There are two women sitting over from me. They look like mother and daughter.
The mother is laughing and she reaches for her daughter’s hand that has a giant diamond ring that undoubtedly some filthy rich bastard gave her.
Lucky bitch.
Listen to me. I’m just jealous. The daughter looks like she’s around my age and she looks like the kind of woman who has her head screwed on, most likely went to college and did all that stuff you’re meant to do. She looks like the prim princess, pampered by her parents. My father pampered me, but I’m not a princess or prim. Sometimes I wish I was though. I might be more into regular guys and not the bad boys. Not mobsters.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.
I can just bet her mom’s giving her some advice. She looks happy. As happy as I used to be with my mother.
We looked similar too. We had the same brown eyes and the same honey blond hair. I got my petite frame from her and she was the same height as me.
My happiest times with her were when she’d take me to the Dream House on Grandfather’s farm. It was a little fairytale cottage on the edge of the farm that overlooked the river. He built it for both his daughters to play in but it was Mom’s. The thing literally looked like it was pulled from a fairytale. We’d talk about everything we dreamed of doing no matter how big or small. No matter how bizarre. That’s what we’d do.
I loved her so much and I loved that she was the kind of mom to always make time for me no matter how busy she was. Mom was rushed off her feet most days working at the State’s Attorney and D. A’s office because she was P. A to the State’s Attorney at the time and trying to pursue a legal career.
She always made time for our little trips though. Always.
My mother would have been fifty five this year if she hadn’t taken her life.
I shouldn’t be angry… it’s always sad when someone commits suicide. I was twelve when she died and I wish every day that I could have done something different to help her.
My current debacle makes me wish I still had her. I think if I did my situation with Gabe would never have happened, and right now I’d be happy to say yes to the man who’s always been there for me.
I set the cup down as Gina rushes in through the door. Her presence instantly calms me. Her skin is flushed with a vibrant afterglow. She only looks like that if she’s had some fight with her boyfriend, Mario, or they’ve had make-up sex. Both reasons are bad because her man cheats on her on the regular. I’m going with make-up sex today.
Her jet black hair bounces with life as she approaches me and her bright green eyes sparkle.
I rise to give her a hug. Christ she even has that musky cologne lingering in her hair. It’s Mario’s scent. It’s not bad but to me it smells of cheater.
“I hope I’m not late,” she says.
“No, I’m just super early.” I smile, sitting back down with a mischievous smirk on my face and she sits opposite me trying her best to hide the blush creeping up her cheeks.
“I gather you had a good morning with Mario,” I state.
She shakes her head and presses her lips together then breathes out a sigh. “Not him, but I want to hear about you first.”
My eyes snap wide. “What the hell, Gina? What’s happening?” There’s no way she can tell me something like that and not elaborate. No way in hell.
She fans herself. “Okay, brief… I walked in on Angelo last night screwing his secretary. We had a big bust up. I was upset so I went to Tony’s house and um…” Now she looks embarrassed.
The blood actually drains from me. Tony is Angelo’s best friend.
“You slept with Tony?” I hiss trying to keep my voice down. I say it practically above a whisper but she places her finger to her lips and shushes me.
She nods her confirmation though. “I did… I was with him all night. Christ Mimi, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I never meant for it to happen but… I can’t say it won’t happen again.”
I simply stare at her. What else can I do?
Both Mario and Tony work together. They’re friends who are part of the very close knit circle we travel in. Like our families, they both work for the Giordanos as associates. They work with Vincent, the eldest Giordano brother and under boss to the family. They’re all far too close. I don’t see how they’ll be able to keep anything under wraps if that’s what she means to do.
She sulks and pulls in a breath. “Mimi, I don’t know what the hell came over me, but… I’ve just had enough. Seven years of shit. Seven years of looking stupid while my man’s all over town chasing pussy. Him cheating on me with anything that has a pair of tits.”
“I agree. It’s been seven years of shit.” I raise my brows hoping this will be the one time where she actually gets rid of Mario’s ass. But to hook up with Tony though? “Please tell me you’re leaving Mario.”
What’s happening with her isn’t uncommon with mafia guys. I should know, it’s the very thing that happened to me with Gabe, except we were never a couple.
“I have to. I feel now that I have to. Anyway,” she perks up. “Let’s talk about you. We’re here to talk about you. What are you going to tell Salvatore?” She smiles brightly.
I can see straight away that she thinks this is one of those happy girly talks we have about men. The last time I spoke about Salvatore I was telling her how we made out for the whole night at the club… in the sex dungeon. That was a few days ago.
“I’m thinking…” I answer tentatively and clutch my hands together on the table.
The smile on her face fades when she sees my hesitation.
“Thinking? About what?” She gives me an incredulous glare. “What is there to think about? Mimi, the man is hot as fuck.”
“You’re so funny, so because Salvatore is hot as fuck I’m supposed to jump in bed with him?”
“Aren’t you already doing that?” She laughs well aware of my strange relationship with Salvatore. “Seriously though, what is there to think about? The man has adored you forever.”
Tears prick the backs of my eyes and I can’t help it when one escapes.
“Gina …I… I can’t get last year out of my mind.” I nod, wiping the tears away with the heel of my hand.
The second I say that, she knows what I mean. She knows exactly what I mean. She’s the only person who knows what happened so I don’t have to say it.
She also knows from the mention of last year that this meeting of ours isn’t about Salvatore, it’s more about Gabe.
It’s about how he hurt me, or rather the result of what he did to hurt me.
Silence fills the space between us and she reaches across the table to take my hand.
“I don’t want to be that woman I was last year,” I breathe and the worries in my mind fill my voice.
Pushing past the tightening in my throat, I bite the inside of my lips to keep the tears in.
That woman I was crumbled into pieces because of what happened to her. I feel like shit for not being able to trust my heart, or even myself. I feel like shit for being a coward because my fear of making myself vulnerable to love is getting the better of me.
Vulnerability means opening the door to betrayal. Again.
It’s hard to go through that with a person you’re supposed to trust. I trusted Gabe and I never thought he’d just treat me like I was nothing.
“Salvatore isn’t like Gabe, Mimi.” A flash of sympathy flickers in her eyes and she leans closer, reaching for my hands.
“I know,” I answer. “He’s far from it… but I don’t want to be stupid, Gina. I know what those guys are like. I know what he can be like too.” I look down, feeling guilty to make such a comment. Nevertheless, accepting the truth of it.
I know Salvatore wants me but I haven’t been blind in the past to all the women he’s had on his arm.
“It’s taken me awhile to balance out my mind and figure out what I want to do with my life,” I mutter, my voice weak.
She offers up a little smile. “The restaurant?” she inquires and I nod.
“I want to achieve something with my life.”
I look at her and I know she gets it. Gina has her own salon. She worked damn hard to get it.
My father spoils me rotten and I proclaimed myself manager at The Dark Odyssey because I do so much there. It’s like I own the place but I don’t. The guys just keep me around because I’ve always been around.
I want my restaurant.
It’s been something I’ve wanted to do for years and showcase all the amazing recipes my mother and grandmother taught me to make. Cooking is the one thing I’m actually good at. Mom always wanted me to take it further and said I had that natural talent. I was five when I first joined her in the kitchen. By the time I was twelve I was making up recipes of my own and cooking up the cuisine meals she taught me.
Jesus… I even started going to Camp Master Chef from when I was nine.
Then I just lost my way after she died. That’s what happened. I won’t lie and say that wasn’t the cause of my procrastination.
Without her and her inspiration it was hard.
I’ve wanted a restaurant since forever but kept putting it off because I lost the faith in myself she gave me. It made me question if I had what it took to pull it off.
Just when I started to heal on some level, I took the plunge to put the plan in motion. I was even talking to my father about it, then Gabe happened.
That’s close to four years ago, although if I’m honest, it’s more like five. So no mere length of time.
I was twenty-four at the time. I never went to college and saw it as the thing I was going to do. Except when Gabriel Giordano started showing interest in me that suddenly came first.
It pushed the dream to the back of beyond and so much shit has happened since.
“Can’t you have both though, Mimi?” Gina asks, pulling me from my thoughts. “The restaurant and the guy who’s called you his babygirl for a lifetime?” She gives me a hopeful smile.
“I … don’t know,” I answer, balling my fists. It grips my heart just to say that.
Of course I could have both. I could and it would be nice, except for the
rude awakening that’s come back to haunt me.
My breath catches in my chest and tension fills my stomach.
While the restaurant and Salvatore aren’t synonymous with each other, what’s important is that I lost myself in love once.
Salvatore’s not like Gabe, but they are similar.
I don’t want to lose myself again. I don’t want to get hurt again.
I’m sure he must already know that. It’s a given.
What he doesn’t know is that Gabe more than broke my heart.
Salvatore doesn’t know the secret I’ve kept that’s slowly worked its way into my soul. Like poison it’s spread and slowly eaten away at my insides.
Salvatore doesn’t know that.
It’s a secret that I should have told him.