Tangled Love

CHAPTER 57

My life is a complete mess. I don't have control over anything. Everything good slips away from my fingertips before I have a chance to keep hold of it forever. After spending years living in fear and unable to love or trust, I want it to end so I can be happy.

I don't stop walk until my chest and legs burn from the pain and I glance around, finding myself in the cemetery. I breathe in deeply, letting oxygen into my lungs and make my way along the route I have memorised.

I stop when I get to his grave and fall onto my knees, wiping the tears away. I don't want him to know I've been crying. I silently push away the branches and leaves, feeling guilty for abandoning him, Once I'm done, my fingers stroke over the carving - loving father. I let out a small sob, unable to control the pain anymore. It's taking over my chest, becoming unbearable.

If he was here, he'd tell me what to do. He always had a reasonable solution to everything. When he was alive, my life was full of love and happiness. It's crazy how one accident has the ability to change your entire life, rip away your happiness in seconds.

I sniffle, wiping away the tears on my cheeks. The wind whips around me harshly but I'm numb to the cold, numb to everything. Loneliness is a feeling I've

grown accustomed to but right now, it's hitting me harder than ever before.

"I just want you back Dad." I whisper, pulling my knees into my chest.

It's been hours.

Darkness surrounds me and everything is eerily quiet. I lay weak next to my fathers grave and feel comforted, almost as if his presence is around me. I feel my phone vibrate again and I pull it out of my

back pockets, squinting at the brightness of the screen. Jake has messaged and rang me multiple times.

I quickly scan over his text, each one becoming more frantic.

Emily, please tell me where you are.

I turn my phone off.

I don't want to talk to anyone. Right now all I want is to be left alone.

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Jake's POV-

I tug hard at my hair, staring down at my phone as I wait for her reply. I check everywhere I can think of but she's nowhere to be found. My fists clench as I remember how Tobias made her feel. Overtime my feelings for her are becoming indescribable and I don't know what to tell her.

The truth is I'm scared.

I don't have the best experience when it comes to girlfriends.

I remember Violet, the pain she and Tobias bought my way. I vowed to myself I'd never get close to a girl again, never let her into my heart but slowly Emily is breaking that vow. The pain in her eyes flashes through my mind at Tobias' words and I yell out in frustration at the sky.

It's been hours.

My phone rings and I quickly pull it out of my jacket, frowning at the name on the screen.

"Hello?" I answer.

"She's at the cemetery."

Amil's smooth voice answers me.

How does he know that?

"Are you following her?" I ask him, a deep frown on my face. He shouldn't have done that without asking me first.

"Of course I am Jake. Do you think I wouldn't follow her after you bought her to me?"

"You should have asked me!" I respond back harshly. Amil pauses on the other end before breathing in harshly.

"I am making sure she doesn't go running to the police! You should be thanking me."

His voice became more threatening and I remember my place within the gang. Amil is leader which means I have to respect him, no matter what. If I dislike something Amil does, I have to keep my mouth shut. Those are the rules.

I take a deep breath, thinking about my next words carefully.

"She doesn't trust the police." " I say quietly, making my way in the direction of the cemetery.

"You know I'm more careful than that. I can't simply take your word for it. She will be followed until I feel necessary." Amil says firmly before hanging up on me.

I sigh and put my phone back into my pocket. I want to help Emily and get Trevor myself however I know Amil would never allow it. The gang made a vow to never get into any trouble unless it's one of Amil's orders. It's his way of keeping us all in line and avoided unnecessary trouble with rival gang members.

I think back to our conversation regarding Emily and her safety. Amil remained silent the entire time before slowly nodding, letting me know he'll help. I didn't need his help, I needed his approval. I wanted to kill Trevor for what he'd done to Emily but I also have a duty to the gang and I can't give that up for a girl.

Even if that girl is Emily.

So why is my heart protesting?