Stuck With The Four Hotties

My eyes blur, and grief rackets through me in a painful wave. It’s like getting hit with lightning … over, and over, and over again. For a few minutes here and there, everything seems like it’ll be okay.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

The sun still shines. Birds still sing.

But … then I remember that Dad is gone, and my whole world rearranges itself. Colors don’t seem as bright, music doesn’t seem as pretty.

I look up and see Tristan Vanderbilt staring at me with a soft tenderness in his gray eyes that wasn’t there before. His arm is still in a sling, but he’ll heal. In time, he’ll heal. Maybe my heart … will feel normal again one day, too? Doesn’t seem like it, but I know life goes on, whether I want it to or not.

“You don’t have to do this now,” Windsor says, kneeling down in front of me.

I shake my head.

“But I do.” I stand up, and the boys move aside, so I can approach the grave, kneeling down to lay out a bouquet of white roses in front of it. I’m smiling now, but I’m crying at the same time. “I love you, Dad. Watch over me, okay?”

I stand up and turn around to see the five of them staring at me.

They’re all so beautiful, each in their own way. I know in my heart that the streaks of wicked darkness inside each of them are still there, but that’s a chance I’m willing to take. All human beings are capable of being cruel … they’re also cap

able of loving.

“Creed would go overseas to live in Paris and be a writer who spends most of his time lounging at outdoor cafes.” My smile gets a little wider, but I can still taste the salt from my tears. “Zayd would become the biggest rock star the world has ever seen, and although he’d still love me, he’d disappear on a world tour, and I’d marry Zack. We’d go to Bornstead U, and he’d play football, and I’d cheer-badly-while I worked on my four year degree. One day, we’d move into a nice house and have kids, and we’d be very much in love.”

“So you’re picking Zack?” Zayd asks, sounding slightly confused.

I look up at them all then and shake my head, and Zack grits his teeth, his face darkening with a dreadful melancholy. I’m not done though, standing up and brushing the loose dirt from my dress.

“That’s what would happen in a manga, but … this isn’t a manga.” I glance back at Dad’s grave, and another surge of pain flows through me. “This is my life, and my choice is … no choice at all.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Zack whispers, his voice rough and broken. He misses Charlie, too, I know that. They were friends. Windsor and Dad, too.

“It means she doesn’t want to make a choice,” Tristan clarifies, but I shake my head, looking up to see his raven-dark hair billowing in the wind. He looks good in black, they all do. They’re all wearing their fourth year uniforms for the final time. It’s appropriate somehow, seeing the rich boys of Burberry Prep arrayed in front of me in a half-circle.

“It means I won’t make a choice,” I say, smiling through the tears and cocking my head to one side. “I don’t want to choose. I love you all. I do. And losing Charlie, it’s taught me that you don’t throw love away because of

some arbitrary rules or because someone tells you to. Because the world wants you to. I love you guys, and I … I’m not ready to say goodbye to anyone else, at least not yet.”

“What you’re saying then …” Zayd starts, getting it before anybody else does. “Is that you want to keep doing what we’re doing?” I nod, and he steps forward, cupping my face in his inked hands. “Does that mean we get to go to college with you?”

“I’d hope so. It’s a little late for you to change your minds,” I start, my lip protruding as a sob wracks over me. I’m weeping now, missing Charlie like crazy as Zayd takes me in his strong arms. “The application deadline’s passed, so you’d have to take a gap year-”

“Marnye, shut up,” Zayd whispers, burying his face in my hair. He holds me tight and close until the crying passes, and then he steps back, looking me in the eyes without flinching. “Nobody tells me what to do. I make my own rules. If I want to date a girl with four other boyfriends, I will. Fuck the world. It’s none of their business anyway.”

“Thank you,” I whisper, my hands shaking.

Zack steps up next, panting heavily, tears resting on his lashes.

“Charlie …” he starts, and then he shakes his head, reaching up to scrub a hand down his face. “He raised an amazing daughter.” I keep smiling, even though everything hurts. Everything. My heart, my soul. “I’m in. I … don’t want to know what college is like without you.”

“You know I’m here for you,” Windsor says, voice soft and low. “Always.” The wind tousles his hair, and he smiles. “Maybe one day, you’ll really marry me. You can even keep these assholes around. I don’t care.”

“I knew it when we kissed on the boat that night, in the cold,” Creed interjects, stepping forward. “You’re my soulmate, Marnye. I’m sure of it.”

“Told you!” Miranda calls from somewhere nearby, pulling a small, sad laugh from me. “#TeamCreed!”

I pause then, and notice Tristan’s eyes are closed. When he opens them, he looks up at the sky.

“If you’re worried about your tuition, I’ll pay it,” Windsor says, and Tristan drops his gaze to the prince, smirking.

“I got a full-ride scholarship, you pompous ass. Guess next year, I’ll be the freshman charity case at a new school, won’t I?”

“Hopefully the students don’t try to bully you,” I whisper as Tristan turns to look at me.

“God help them if they do,” he says, and I know he means that. There’s a long stretch of silence as he studies me. That’s when I know it for sure: he’s going to say no.