Sold to the mafia

Katia

I sit back on my heels at Isaac’s desk, watching him work on his laptop. I can feel the warmth of his leg and I want to lean against him, but I don’t. His brow furrowed, he’s typing something important, not paying me any mind. Yet, he’s all I can think about. I’ve been worried about him. About us.

He hasn’t been himself lately, his words and actions distant, his eyes filled with pain as if he’s losing something. I want to help him with whatever is bothering him. Like he’s helped me. But when I try to get him to open up, he shuts himself off from me. A surge of emotion threatens to choke me, but I push it away. I hate it.

I study his profile, his chiseled jawline and the stubble shading it, the clicking sounds of his fingers running across the keyboard in my ears. I don’t know what it is, but something’s off. Something has shifted. I feel like he’s less attached to me.

Maybe it’s his collar, I wonder to myself, unconsciously bringing my hands up to my neck to feel it. I love it and his claim on me. But ever since I put it on, it seems like a wall has sprung up between us. I hate it. I want back what we had. I want to get past whatever is bothering him. We can get through this together. All he needs to do is allow it.

I think he may be doing this on purpose, being distant from me. He knows our contract is over soon. I constantly remind myself that our days are numbered, and the contract is ending. But I don’t want them to be. If he wanted to keep me, I’d happily stay. I don’t care about the money. I care about everything he’s done for me. I would never have this inner strength without him. I know I wouldn’t. I feel whole again. I feel untouchable even.

I don’t want to leave him. I may not say it out loud, I may not want to admit it. But I love him. Whether that’s wrong or right, I don’t care.

I need to give him a reason to keep me.

“Master?” I ask.

Isaac pauses midtype, looking down at me. My heart skips a beat as those green eyes prick my skin. But not because of the intensity that used to be there. He doesn’t look at me the same anymore. His eyes are filled with sadness. “Yes?”

Disappointment flows through me that he doesn’t use my pet name. Another sign that something is wrong. But maybe I’m paranoid and am reading too much into it. Something tells me I’m not though. “What can I do to please you?” I ask, swallowing the lump in my throat, hating the tightness that constricts my chest.

Isaac stares at me, and I bite the inside of my cheek, increasingly feeling as if there’s something wrong. It’s there. “You’re already doing it,” he replies, gently petting my hair. Normally, I would feel assured, but his words only make me more uneasy. They have no strength to them, no passion. Even his petting of me is weak.

I lick my lips, not wanting to outright accuse him of lying, but I know I can’t let this go. “But I don’t feel as if I am pleasing you right now. I feel like… I need to do more to satisfy you.”

Isaac frowns, his hand falling from my head to hang lifelessly over the side of his chair. “You don’t need to do more.”

His words are saying one thing, but I’m feeling something entirely else from him. It almost feels like a spear of ice is slowly being pressed into my heart. “I can’t take that you give me so much pleasure, yet I give you nothing in return.” I know you’re in pain. I can see it every day.

Isaac flashes a me a look that makes me tense. His eyes narrowed as if daring me to continue with my train of thought. But at least there’s passion there. “How can you think that you give me nothing? You give me so much, Katia.”

“I want to make you happy,” I say thickly. I look him directly in the eye as I say, “And you aren’t,” challenging him to say otherwise. Challenging him to lie to me.

Isaac takes a long time responding, his emerald eyes studying my distressed face. “You’re worried for me?” he asks finally.

I nod my head. “Yes.” I’m more than worried. I think you want to get rid of me as soon as this contract is over. You don’t want to deal with what’s hurting you. Just thinking the words brings tears to my eyes. I’m hoping desperately that I’m wrong and I’m just imagining things. But I know I’m not.

“Then that’s my fault.” My breath catches at my throat at the pain reflected in his eyes. “I’m sorry I failed you in that respect, Katia.”

Oh God no. My heart pounds in my chest and my breath comes in pants as I cry, “No, Master. You haven’t failed me at all.” I’m trying to stay calm. We can talk our way through this. I can help him. Please just give me something.Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.

“I have.” His words are emotionless, as if he doesn’t see me breaking down right in front of him. God, he’s fucking killing me! “Your worries are mine, not the other way around.”

I tremble at his feet and try not to break down, hoping this is all just a bad dream. It isn’t real.

“Go to your room,” he orders coldly, not appearing to notice my distress.

I look at him, seeing the pain in his eyes, and feel defiance. He can’t fucking blow me off like this. He doesn’t have to do this. “No,” I say rebelliously. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He reaches down, gripping my chin. “Go,” he growls right in front of my face, his hot breath sending chills down my neck and shoulders. “Now.” His voice holds a threat. But I don’t care.

I try to shake my head, but can’t. He’s holding my head in place. “No,” I say breathlessly, my heart beating frantically. “I don’t want to leave you. I feel like you don’t want me anymore.” It hurts saying the words and admitting the truth.

At first, pain flashes in his beautiful eyes, but then anger twists Isaac’s handsome face. He releases my chin and rises to his feet, pulling me up along with him. “Is that what you want?” he growls, grabbing me by the hips and pulling me into his hard body. He takes both my arms and pins them behind my back, his powerful grip sending sparks of want through my body. I just want this passion. Always.

“Yes,” I whisper. “Take me. Use me. Do whatever you want with me.” I just want to help you.

Isaac stares at me for a long moment, his chest heaving, and then without a word, he pulls me from the room, dragging me down the long hallway. I don’t resist as he takes me all the way to my room, opens the door, and slings me into the room.

“Please stay!” I cry imploringly, scrambling to my feet and rushing for the door. “Talk to me, Isaac! What did I do wrong?” Let me fix you.

“Nothing, Katia. There’s nothing you did wrong.” His voice is hard, but at least he’s talking to me.

“Just tell me, tell me what happened! I want to fix it. I want you back!”

He stares at me for a moment, his expression vulnerable, wanting and raw. He needs me. His grip tightens on the door and I swear it’s so hard it’s going to crack. Isaac, please, just tell me.

“Stay,” he commands.

Before I can get there, he slams it shut with powerful force.

I stand there staring at the door, a range of powerful emotions running through me. Pain, sadness. Rage. I feel so helpless, so incredibly lost. I don’t know what’s going to happen from here, but something tells me this could be the end.

I bring my hands to my collar, wanting to take it off and throw it against the wall in rage. If he’s going to just break up with me at the end of our contract, why draw it out? It only has a few days left. I should just get it over with now. I place my finger over the latch, my heart racing as tears stream down my face. But I can’t bring myself to do it.

I don’t know what he’s feeling or going through right now, but I know one thing for sure.

I want to be his.