SILENT DESIRES

She leaned forward, forgetting their vow not to dredge up the past. “And I was the woman you were supposed to marry, Matt. Didn’t I deserve anything from you? Besides a payoff and a get-the-hell-out-of-my-life?”

“I’m here now,” he said quietly. “I was angry. I had a right to be. I won’t apologize for that. But I’m here now and I want us to try again. We both made mistakes.”

She had to let go of the resentment and anger that She had to put it away because there was no way for her to win.

She leaned back in her chair. “So where are we going to drive tomorrow? Should I wear one of those scarves and huge sunglasses so I look chic?” she asked.

He relaxed, relief stark in his eyes that she was letting the matter drop.

“Wear that very sexy sundress that Rosa bought you,” he replied.

She arched an eyebrow. “Which one? She bought several, thanks to you.” she said.

“Clearly you haven’t seen the one then. Or you’d know what I was talking about. It’s red. Perfect with your coloring. Strapless, clingy in all the right places. Just make sure to bring something to protect your head from the sun.” Matt said.

“It sounds fun. Carefree,” she said wistfully. It had been far too long since she’d done anything remotely resembling carefree.Original from NôvelDrama.Org.

“I intend for us to have a lot of fun together again, Savannah. We used to. We were happy.”

She had to acknowledge that they had been. Once. So she nodded and he smiled.

“Are you ready for bed yet?” he asked.

“Depends on what you have in mind,” she murmured.

A gleam entered his eyes and he slid his hands up her legs, stroking and caressing.

“Well, I sure wasn’t planning to go to sleep. Not for a good long while.”

“In that case, definitely take me to bed.”

He rose and then unexpectedly he reached down, slid his arms beneath her and lifted her up, cradling her against his chest.

“Matt, put me down. I think I’ve added some weight since we have been here

I’m too heavy!”

He silenced her with a kiss. “A-you’re still a little bit of a thing. And B-are you suggesting I’m not manly enough to carry my woman around?”

She laughed. “Forget I said anything. Carry on then.”

————————-

There weren’t enough words to explain how much Savannah dreaded getting on that plane and flying back to New York. The past two days had had a dreamlike quality. They were like the best fantasy imaginable, unmarred by a single incident.

And now they were going back to reality.

Cold, gloomy New York City.

She hadn’t always felt that way about the city but now it only held bad memories for her. She wasn’t as optimistic as Matt that they could somehow pull the pieces of their relationship back together and sustain it with so many factors against them.

As if sensing her reluctance, Matt slid an arm around her waist and urged her onto the plane.

A few moments later, they were seated and Matt reached over to buckle her seat belt for her.

“It’s going to be alright, Savvie. Trust me.” he said.

She wished it was that easy. Still, she offered him a reassuring smile and settled back for the flight.

But it was Matt who seemed to grow more tense as the flight neared its end. He touched her frequently, and at first she thought it was to ease her nerves, but she wondered now if it was to reassure himself.

Did he think she’d bolt and run as soon as they landed? She might be tempted but she’d given him her promise and she intended to keep it.

They hadn’t really talked about what would happen when they got back to New York. Maybe they’d both been too determined not to ruin their time on the island.

Once again when they landed, there was a car waiting for them, and Matt hurried her out of the cold and into the warm confines of the vehicle.

A mixture of snow and sleet fell from gray skies and she shivered even though the heat was on full blast in the back of the car. It was a shock to leave sunshine and sandy beaches for the bitter chill of New York in the throes of a cold front.

The euphoria that had enveloped much of their stay on the island evaporated and depression settled over her until her mood matched the weather.

Matt pulled her into his side and kissed her temple. “I have a distinct urge to order in tonight, eat in front of the fire and then make love to you for the rest of the night.” he said.

She sighed and snuggled into his side. Somehow he’d known just what to say to make some of the oppressive worry melt away.

“I had fun with you the last few days,” she said, wanting him to have that admission at least.

“I’m glad. I had fun with you too. It felt like old times, only…better.” he replied.

She nodded because it had been better. More honest. Or maybe they hadn’t taken a single moment for granted as they’d done in the past. They’d enjoyed every single minute together, making the most of each one.

They’d laughed and loved and they’d made love. The very last day they hadn’t left Matt’s room. Their meals had been delivered and they’d stayed in bed, only leaving it to take a leisurely shower together.

She wished it could have lasted. But they had to face the music sooner or later. She smiled, loving the concern in his voice.

“Spending the time away with you did so much for me. I’m glad that you made me go with you.”

He looked pleased with her response, pleased that she’d admitted it. He bent to kiss her again as they pulled up outside his building.

Matt hastily got out, and rushed her out of the cold and into the building. As they rode up in the elevator, Savannah realized just how much she dreaded being back here, in this house. In this city.

“My driver will bring the luggage up soon. Why don’t you go get comfortable on the couch? I’ll turn the fire on and fix us something to drink. Are you hungry?” he asked.

“Hmm, no, but I’d love Thai takeout later. For now I’ll have some juice.” Savannah replied.