SILENT DESIRES

“Not anymore you don’t. You’re out of here.” Lamar said.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

Savannah paled and stared at him as panic rolled through her chest. “You’re firing me?” she asked, dreading his reply.

“You walked out yesterday during our busiest time. No word, no nothing. You didn’t come back. What the hell did you expect? And now you’re back here this morning and I have a diner full of pissed-off customers because you don’t have your head on right. You did the same thing two weeks ago and I decided to ignore that.” Lamar hissed.

She took a deep breath and tried to steady her nerves. “Please Lamar, I need this job. Yesterday… Yesterday I got sick, okay? It won’t happen again.” She said.

“Damn right it won’t. I never should have hired you back in the first place.” He curled his lip in disgust. “If I hadn’t needed a waitress so desperately, I would have never hired you back to begin with.”

Oh God, she didn’t want to beg, but what choice did she have? The chances of her finding another job right now were slim. She didn’t even have enough money to finish the rest of her classes so she could get her degree.

“Please,” she choked out. “Give me another chance. You’ve never heard a single complaint from me. I’ve never missed work for any reason. My head has just been messed up lately. I have to have this job.”

He pulled out an envelope from his shirt pocket and thrust it toward her. “Here’s your final check, minus the hours for yesterday’s disappearing act.”

She took it with a shaking hand and he turned and walked out of the kitchen, the door swinging wildly behind him.

Anger and frustration overwhelmed her. Matt was still ruining her life, even a year later. Vicky was in the diner serving people so she hadn’t seen what had happened, which was good because knowing Vicky, she would probably get mad at Lamar and end up getting fired too. And that was the last thing Savannah wanted.

She would figure this out on her own. She yanked off her apron, tossed it in the direction of the hook and then left through the back entrance, squinting when she was nearly blinded by sunlight.

As she walked back toward her apartment, she stared at the envelope in her hand. Despair weighed her down until each step felt unbearable. Her damn pride. She should have taken the check Matt had given her when they broke up. To hell with him and his nasty accusations.

That check represented a way for her to finish school and provide for herself.

She had every reason to refuse it. To tear it up into little pieces and shove it under his nose. Maybe that’s why she’d held on to it for so long because a part of her wanted the satisfaction of throwing it back at him.

It had been important to her that he know she wasn’t some whore to be bought, but what had that got her? A dead end job that sucked the life out of her on a daily basis and a paycheck that wasn’t even close to helping her fulfill her dreams.

Enough with her pride. Matt Bradford could go to hell. She was going to cash that check.

——————

Matt mounted the steps to Savannah’s apartment, grimacing as he took in the missing handrail and the shaky stairs. It was a wonder she hadn’t already fallen down them. He wasn’t entirely expecting to find her home, and she wasn’t so he had gone to the the diner in case she’d gone to work, only to be told by a surly man named Lamar that she wasn’t there and that she didn’t work there anymore.

A part of was worried she had left town again and so he decided to go back to her apartment. Only to find her walking home. He drove past her, parked his car and walked back toward her.

She frowned and looked away when she saw him, but not before he had seen the wet in her eyes and her lips quiver. He knew instantly that something was wrong and that she was putting up that tough face for his benefit.

“Hey” he said.

“Hi” She replied, but she didn’t stop walking and she walked right past him.

Matt hissed and followed her. “Are you alright?” he asked.

“I’m fine” Savannah replied and kept walking.

Matt walked past her and stopped in front of her. She tried to walk away again, but he blocked her path and held arms. “I was just at the diner… Where you work. Some guy said you didn’t work there anymore and he wasn’t so nice when he said it”

“Oh is Prince Matt hurt that someone wasn’t nice to him?” she asked sarcastically. “Not so much fun when someone else does it to you, right?”

Matt rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean” he said. “Is everything okay? Why did you quit?… Or are you leaving again?”

“Why? What does it matter to you?” Savannah asked. “Last time I checked, I didn’t have to ask your permission or run my life decisions by you first”

Matt closed his eyes and sighed. “Savannah….”

“Not that it’s any of your business” she continued. “But I didn’t get quit, I was fired, thanks to you. You Matt, have successfully ruined my life one again. Are you happy now? Now please, go away. I never want to see you again”

“Wait, what?” Matt asked, blocking her path again as she tried to move. “How does this have anything to do with me?”

“I was doing fine without you. Why did you have to show up and mess with my head? Just leave me alone, Matt. I want to be alone”

Matt didn’t quit understand how this could be his fault, but he could see that she was upset and close to tears. Asking further questions would only upset her more. So he said. “I’m sorry for what happened. At least let me take you home. I was hoping to see you anyway”

“I don’t need your pity or your help” Savannah replied.

“It is not pity, trust me” Matt said. “just let me give you a ride, please. I’m sure you will feel a bit better when we get to your apartment”

Savannah frowned. She looked like she was going to say no again, but then she turned and walked toward his car.