186 The Most Comfort
Scarlett's POV
"I'm sorry..." Sebastian grabs the frame of our door, so hard his fingers turn white. "I-- I..."
He stutters for long, but no words come out.
What COULD he say? Hours. Only a few HOURS after he told her no, he is on his way to see her, in the middle of the night.
Because Ava cut her own wrist.
"I...I won't do anything inappropriate with her. I just..." With utter struggle in his eyes, Sebastian explains, to me, or to himself, "I mean, you can come along if you--"
I cock my eyebrows and he instantly adds: "I'm sorry! I don't mean that, I'm not asking you to come and help her! I swear!"
I sigh. Only a few hours ago, I thought we could start over. I thought if Sebastian would take my side against Ava, then maybe we do have a chance at holding together a family. I was wrong. So long as Ava exists in his heart, she could drill a hole in our family no matter how generous I be.
"I want to believe you, but what would you do if she really is dying of blood loss?" I look at him, hearing only dead disappointment in my voice. It's the sound of all the hope of building a family with this man dying.
No answer. He just grips the door frame even harder.
"I will NOT help her this time, no matter what," I tell him frankly with coldness that I didn't even know I could manage, "I won't let her harm my baby in any way."
Yes, it's MY baby. Not ours. Even if he still wants to be part of the baby's life, I have to accpet the fact that the baby has only me to count on when it comes to it.
8 months pregnant is a crucial time. I can't risk anything, not to mention a huge amount of blood donation.
"Of course!" Sebastian nods in haste, "It's my baby, too. I will find some other way to help even if you are not pregnant!"
You say that now. It takes all my will power to not shake my head in disappointment at his words. You also said you weren't a doctor and you would choose me over her. Look at what you are doing now.
It's not like I don't understand that
it's a life at stake, but what can you do by being there with her? You can't give her blood. I can. You can't cure her. The doctors can. She wants you there only because she wants you, and you know that.
Yet you are still going.
"You should go now," I say calmly. In case her "deep cut" heals before you can make it. I don't believe Ava would really hurt herself, not even for Sebastian. She loves herself more than anything.
"I..." Sebastian grunts, his voice shaking as if he is in huge pain, "This is all my fault. I know. I gave her false hope and I didn't deal with her in the right way. I'm sorry. I will make it up to you...please."
I don't know what he is pleading for. I don't even know if he knows.
Maybe he is pleading for our marriage to not die under Ava's savage stabbing.
Looking at the deep sorrow in his eyes, my heart aches, too. I was saved by this man, I fell in love with this man and I married this man. As as I'm hurt and disappointed, I
much as
can't hate him. I don't enjoy his pain, and I don't want to tear his heart
open.
Maybe I was the one at fault. Ava has been pulling Sebastian to her side, and I have been refusing to let go. She is the one initiating this fight, but I played a part in tearing him up. If I had let go sooner, maybe this all wouldn't happen.
"I...I'm going to tell her that suicide is not the right way to solve anything. I'll make things clear this time and-" Sebastian takes a step toward me as if he wants to hug me, but before I can confirm the glimmer of water
in his eyes, he turns around and
heads out, "I'll come back as soon as I can!"
"Sebastian!" I blurt, grabbing his shirt. He stops, but not turning around.
"Would you still go, if...if she wasn't the girl you saved ten years ago?"This belongs to NôvelDrama.Org.
Silence is his answer. Why did I even ask.
"Goodbye," I let go of his shirt, "A life is a life. You are doing the right thing, and even if she dies, it's not on you."
That's the most comfort I can give him. Because I can't promise that I will still be here when he comes back, no matter how "soon" he can be.