Scream For me

JADE

“Jade!” Olivia cried out when I called her. “You’re still alive.”

I giggled. “I didn’t die. I just went away.”

“Yeah, and then there was radio silence. You didn’t even answer my texts.”

“I was snowed in,” I said.

When Olivia sounded shocked, I laughed. It was the reaction I’d hoped for. I told her what had happened and how things had been going.

“At least Aaron has a satellite connection, so I could still send Hannah my work daily. I sent you an email, too. I’m guessing you didn’t read it.” “I never read my emails,” Olivia said solemnly.

“I know.” I laughed. “I’m okay, though.”

“Tell me everything,” Olivia breathed, and I told her as much as I could, describing the house where we stayed, telling her about the storm and Ben staying with a friend.

“So, what have you been doing if you’ve been off work?” Olivia asked, and I could hear the confusion in her voice. “Didn’t you go with them because of Ben?”

“Yeah, the part where he was invited to his friend’s house was a surprise.

I’ve been doing…” I giggled. “Aaron.”

“What!?” Olivia cried out after a beat.

I giggled again and glanced toward my closed door to see if Aaron was on the other side, listening to my conversation. I knew he was on a conference call in his office with some big shots at the bank he owned, but I dropped my voice a little, anyway.

“We’ve been together this week,” I admitted. “But it’s just this week,” I added it quickly before Olivia could question me about what it would mean when we got back.

“You’re going back to normal after it all?” she asked when I explained our arrangement.

“It’s better that way,” I said. “It will never work between us.” “Why not?” Olivia asked.

I opened my mouth to answer her and couldn’t come up with one. Why couldn’t we be together? Why couldn’t it work? I had a list of reasons when I first met Aaron, but things have changed.

Did the list mean anything now?

“I don’t know…” I admitted. “It’s what we agreed on, though. And I don’t think he feels the same about me as I feel about him, you know? I might be falling in love with him, but he doesn’t”

Olivia interrupted with a squeal so loud I had to pull the phone away from my ear for a moment.

“What?” I asked.

“Are you falling in love with him? Is that what you just said?”

I blushed hard. “Well, yeah. But it doesn’t mean anything if it doesn’t go both ways, right? Besides, I’m just being silly.”

“Or you have good taste, and this is something that could actually work. Come on, Jade, you know that you need a good man in your life. He’s a good man.”

I laughed. “You don’t even know him!”

“I know that he has good taste. He always orders my food. And he likes you. If that isn’t good taste, I don’t know what is.” She giggled. “Besides, his money doesn’t hurt.”

I shook my head even though she couldn’t see me. “It’s not about his money. It’s never been about his money, not outside of my working for him.”

“I know, I know. You’ve always been such a noble person, going for what’s on the inside. I wouldn’t have what it took, but you’re such a saint.”

I laughed again. “Don’t say that.”

“I’m serious, though. You really do need someone good in your life, and it sounds like you’re happy with the sky. Why can’t it be more?”

“Because it’s Aaron Steele. Come on, Liv, we both know that Aaron doesn’t do serious and commitment and long term…this is what he does, and I knew that about him, so I’m accepting it. Besides, I’m his nanny,” I said.

“Yeah, okay…for once, I’m going to say you actually have a good point.”

I giggled. “You’re not going to scold me for being too hard on myself?”

“This is completely different,” Olivia said with a laugh. “You’ve learned and grown, and I’m proud of you.”

I snorted. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Have you told him the truth?” Olivia asked. “You know, about you not really being a nanny”

“You don’t have to remind me!” I rubbed my fingers along my hairline. My head started to throb dully. “And no, I haven’t told him. I’ve tried a couple of times, but the conversation goes in a different direction every time, and I don’t know how to bring it up again. Besides, it’s not such a big deal, right?”

“Right…” Olivia said, but her voice trailed off, making me think she didn’t agree.

“Tell me,” I said.

“Well, I just think that even though it’s not a big dealyou’re great with Ben, and he obviously likes youit might be a problem that you weren’t honest with him. Honesty doesn’t have to be only about big things. It can be small things, too.”

She was right. Olivia usually wasshe was the best person to talk about these things with.

“Okay, I’ll tell him,” I said.

“It won’t be a big deal if he hears it from you,” Olivia pointed out. “You just shouldn’t hide it from him. It really isn’t a big deal, though, so I don’t think he’ll have a problem with it. After all, if you guys can keep going like this, you’ll be a lot more than a nanny to that boy.”

I blushed hard again. “You’re saying it like it’s final.”

“Well, it might be. Where do you want this to go? You don’t want it to stay a fling, do you?”

I thought about it for a moment, and then I shook my head. “No, I don’t want it to be a fling. Aaron isn’t the type of guy I want to have a fling with; he is long-term material.”

“Exactly, that means you’ll be a stepmom, eventually.”

I squeezed my eyes shut. Thinking about a relationship with Aaron was one thing. Thinking about being a mother to Ben was another.

After deciding that I would talk to Aaron about it, Olivia was satisfied, and the conversation turned to what her week had been like. She had been busy at the restaurant and didn’t have much more to offer. Now that I was with Aaron and he hadn’t come in this week, we didn’t even have that to gossip about.

“Hurry up and come home; I miss going out for drinks with you!” Olivia said when we started to end the conversation. “I can’t wait to hear more about this new love you found.”

I giggled. “It’s early days. It might still amount to nothing.”

“I won’t have any of that negativity from you!” Olivia cried out before she burst out laughing. I laughed, too. Olivia was such a breath of fresh air, always putting things into perspective for me.

Finally, we ended the call after making plans to see each other soon. I opened my bedroom door and walked toward the office. I couldn’t hear any voices, so the conference call must have finished. When I popped my head around the corner, looking in through the door, Aaron stood with his hands clasped behind his back, looking out through the full-length windows.

“How did your meeting go?” I asked.

Aaron turned and looked at me over his shoulder. “It went well. Better than I expected. I don’t usually get along with my brother, but he was in a good mood today.”

Aaron had mentioned that he and his brother didn’t get along but never wanted to go into detail.

He still looked serious, though. “Is everything okay?” I asked.

Aaron nodded and turned to me completely. “Better than okay. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

I frowned. “It sounds serious.”

Aaron walked to his desk and sat on the edge.

“It is,” he admitted. “I wanted to run something by you.”

“Okay?” My stomach twisted. I had a feeling something was going to go wrong.

Aaron watched me, studying my face and the silence stretched thin between us until I could barely hold out anymore.

“I think I’m in love with you,” Aaron said.

I stared at him, blinking. “What?”

He didn’t repeat himselfI’d heard him loud and clear, and he knew it.

“I thought we were just doing a fling this week,” I said, feeling flustered.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g

Did he feel the same way I did? It was almost too good to be true, and the conversation floored me.

“Yeah, that was the plan,” Aaron said, nodding. “But plans don’t always work out, do they?”

I tilted my head, trying to figure him out.

“The thing is, I don’t want this to end here with this week. I want it to continue. I want to see if we can make something of thissomething serious. I can’t just do a fling. It wouldn’t be fair, not to myself or to Ben.” When I still didn’t answer him, he frowned. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

I nodded slowly. I understood exactly what he was sayingit just didn’t compute yet. I was too nervous to let myself dream that this could be more serious than a fling. I was sure it was just in a head.

“So, what do you say?” Aaron asked when I still didn’t answer. “I have no idea how to read your reaction right now.”

“I just didn’t expect this,” I admitted. “Let’s be honest, Aaron…you don’t have the best track record with women.”

He pursed his lips. “I know. Now that you know more about my life, can you understand why? If I had to introduce them all to Ben, only for it not to work out…”

“I understand,” I said. “I’m just worried about you wanting something different with me. What if it doesn’t work out with me? What if you get bored with me and want to call it off?”

Aaron shook his head. “You’re different. How I feel about you is different. I don’t just want to fuck and forget when it comes to you. Don’t get me wrong, I could spend the rest of my life in bed with you, fucking to our hearts’ content, and I’d be happy.” He grinned at me. “But I want the bits in between with you, too. The conversations, the plans for the future. The down days, the stressful days, the hard days. I don’t just want you here for pleasure, and I deal with the rest by myself.”

I stared at him. It was a beautiful speech. He’d given me everything I’d always wanted, promising me the fairy tale.

A voice screamed at the back of my headI’d heard it all before.

“You’re sure you won’t change your mind?” I asked. I couldn’t deal with another heartbreak. I couldn’t be promised forever and be cast aside again.

“I’m sure,” Aaron said. His eyes searched mine, and he took my hands. “So, are you saying you want it to?” Aaron asked, and his eyes were hopeful.

I nodded, a smile breaking over my face. Despite all the pain Mike had caused and my fear that I wasn’t good enough for something like this, I felt a sense of calm. This was AaronI was already so entangled in his life. He wanted me to be sure of my feelings because he didn’t want to get hurt. He understood, and that changed everything.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. I want this. I want to be serious with you.”

Aaron grinned at me and stood from the desk, walking to me. He grabbed me, wrapping his arms around me, and pulled me tightly against him. He showered my face with kisses.

“Good,” he said.

I melted against him. Was it possible for one person to be this happy, lucky, and loved?

Apparently, it was.