Pregnant For My Bully

Jason Davenport

I sat on one of the old chairs at the pool after practice. I’d wanted to take a swim as I was very sweaty, but I decided to sit and relax for a while.

After all, there was no rush to head on home. After the incident regarding Dad and Ashley, I wasn’t sure how I felt. I knew I felt a great deal of stupid. But mostly it was. . . pain.

I’d wanted to be right. I’d needed to be right. Being right meant that Ashley would disappear from our lives and that Dad and I would have a chance to work on our relationship. Being right meant that I’d never have to regard anyone else as my mother. Being right meant that I wouldn’t have to call anyone else ‘mom’ and have to experience the pain and anger that came with it.

But I’d been wrong.

Ashley was weird and annoying and way too girly for my liking. Plus I hated the fact that she was a younger woman. It irritated the shit out of me. I wasn’t sure I would ever accept her completely. I still hated her for tearing dad and I apart.

So I’d begun to avoid her and dad. It’d be less painful if I acted like they didn’t exist. That way, the pain would be easier to manage. It was worse now that I realized that I didn’t have a reason to hate her. I didn’t know what reaction to give to that.

But she liked him. Loved him, even.

And I didn’t know how to feel about that.

I sighed. I needed to talk to Adrian. Speaking of, I hadn’t seen him in two days now.

Sprawling on the chair, my eyebrows furrowed as I saw a figure standing in front of the pool saying something I couldn’t make out because I sat far away.

Still watching, I tried to make out who it was. The blonde hair and thick hoodie kinda resembled Amelia’s. But I wasn’t too sure. When she started to sob audibly, bending over and placing her hands on her knees in a tired fashion, I realized that it was her.

What the fuck is she doing here after school?

I rolled my eyes. No one’s around. There wasn’t any need for her to start the crybaby nonsense.

After some moments of sobbing, she walked to the edge of the pool and zipped up her hoodie.

Before I could process what was happening, she had jumped. My breath caught in my throat and I stood. Waiting for her to resurface.

After a few seconds of waiting without any sign of her, my chest exploded.

Oh my God. She can’t swim.

Seconds later I was racing down the steps, jumping three at a time till I got to the pool. As I got to the edge of the pool, I took a deep breath and dived in. Moments later I sighted her. She looked lifeless and unmoving. Quickly I grabbed her and carried her up to the surface, stopping to breathe when I’d placed her on the floor.

My hands shook in panic. Why would she do this?

She wasn’t moving.

I slapped her lightly with two of my fingers. “Hey, wake up.”

She didn’t show any response. Blood rushed to my ears and all I could hear was the beating of my heart.

I unzipped the heavy hoodie she had on, hoping it would relieve some of the weight. Still no reaction.

I shook her harder now. “Please Amelia, wake up.” My voice shook now.

“Oh my God. What do I do now?”All text © NôvelD(r)a'ma.Org.

Her lips had started to change color. And I didn’t remember where my phone was. Dragging her away from the pool, I placed my knees on either side of her and proceeded to give her chest compressions the way I remembered, not sure if I was doing it right.

My breaths came out loud and heavy as I persisted after the 12 times had passed and she still lay lifeless.

Why would she try to kill herself? I didn’t think she’d be so sad that she’d want to stop living.

Still giving the compressions I watched her, eyes shut and mouth hanging open.

I’d hurt her.

I’d consistently hurt her.

That means that all those times. . . she was being truthful.

What have I done?

Tears threatened to spill out my eyes as I continued giving the compressions.

“P-please just wake up. Don’t die on me!”

In the middle of giving the final one, her chest heaved and she let out a gurgle, releasing water from her lungs.

I breathed out in relief, watching as she doubled over, coughing continuously and trying to survey her surroundings afterwards.

She froze as she saw me. Looking from my face to my wet clothes, her face wrinkled in anger.

“What did you do?” She yelled, rising to her feet.

“You jumped. On purpose,” I said, still staring at her in disbelief. “Why would you try to kill-”

Before I could finish she let out a piercing scream and rushed towards me, grabbing me by the neck and shaking me with a strength I didn’t think she possessed.

“You fucking asshole! Why must you try and control every aspect of my life. You practically controlled my life, now you want to control my death too? It’s my life! And I decide when I want to stop living!”

Her eyes shone with anger and her breath was heavy.

And I realized something. She’d really wanted to die.

I felt confused and guilty. My emotions were on a rollercoaster.

“I’m sorry, Amelia,” I whispered.

Her eyes widened. Before I could say something else she had violently pushed me to the floor.

“You’re sorry?!” She let out a disbelieving laugh.

“Let’s see. I lost both my parents on the same day, at the same time. No one, and I mean no one showed any sympathy for me. I was broken, tired, lonely. Instead, as school resumed, I was greeted with bullying out of nowhere from you. Everyday I wondered what I’d possibly done to deserve it.”

She laughed again.

“After all I’d just lost my parents. You picked on me, pushed me around, hit me. You made me feel like a loser. Like I was a nobody. And I believed you. I started to feel like I deserved to be alone, like I deserved to die. Like I was a worthless piece of trash. The only thing that kept me going was my grandma.”

“When I thought I’d seen the worst, you raped me!” She stifled the sob that escaped her lips with her hand.

“You raped me. You blamed it on me. You got me pregnant.”

My eyes widened in shock. She was actually pregnant? She hadn’t been lying for the attention? My mouth fell open.

“And now, I decide to end it all. End this life because I’d rather die than live like this, than have your child. And you decide it’s your right to control that too? You’re sorry? Fuck you, Jason Davenport.”

She burst into tears, raising both her hands with a confused look on her face. “I don’t know what I’m doing here!” She screamed, looking up to the sky and turning in circles. The pain on her face stirred something in my chest.

I’d been so busy thinking about my pain and my loss that I hadn’t realized how much she was hurting.

I’d lost my mom; my best friend and my favorite person. But she’d lost her mom and dad.

I still had Dad. And it was obvious that he’d give anything for me.

She really was all alone. For the first time I tried to place myself in her shoes. And I knew I wouldn’t have been able to bear it if I’d lost Dad as well.

I’d been so selfish. I’d blamed her for mom’s death, deciding to be oblivious to the fact that she’d lost the most significant people in her life.

And I’d brutally raped her. She was pregnant.

For me.

I staggered backwards, tears filling my eyes.

What would mom say?

“Amelia, I-I’m s-so sorry. I didn’t know-”

She raised a hand. “Just stay the fuck away from me!” She spat, wiping her face and walking towards the exit.

I stood her, watching her walk away, not knowing what to do.