CHAPTER 81 – SYMBOL OF THEIR PASSION
Mackenzie pulled the duvet over her daughter’s body and leaned in to kiss her forehead. She found herself squeezing the part of the wooden bed her hands could touch.
Chase was just behind her, and she could feel his stare burn through the skin of her neck. She had felt as though she had been walking on eggshells since he arrived, yet there was a part of her overjoyed to have him there, to have him with her kids, and with her.
She turned to look at him and found him staring at her, his hands tucked into his pocket. He did not wear a smile on his face, but there was something relaxed about him, an air of joy she had not sensed before.
“There, they are both asleep.” She spoke, a nervous chuckle escaped her lips, and he smiled as he watched them.
Heavens! He was so…charming.
“Yeah, they both needed it. It’s been a long day.”
Mackenzie nodded, saying nothing.
The next thirty seconds was spent in silence. Mackenzie locked her fingers together behind her back. She was suddenly aware of the fact that it was just the both of them in the cubic room. She was not sure how it made her feel.
“Can I have sometime alone, with them?” Chase asked. Mackenzie could hear the hurt, his voice was not as smooth as it always was.
She flashed him a small smile, before walking out of the room, making sure to close the door behind her. However, she made sure she took a small peep at him first, and that was when she saw him grip the children’s bed. His shoulders trembled.
Mackenzie tore her eyes away and closed the door. She could not bear to watch him like that, not when it was her fault.Owned by NôvelDrama.Org.
Chase could no longer hold back the urge to cry. He had held it in from the second his eyes met the boy’s, but not anymore.
He couldn’t believe it. He had not shed a tear since his mother died, but this was different. The joy of meeting them, and the pain from all the years he had lost. Their first walk, their first words, their first cries, he had missed everything.
He struggled to stand straight, but his limbs seemed unable to carry his weight. He moved to the wall and leaned against it, struggling to keep his tears at bay. The more he tried, the more they rushed out of his eyes.
He cried until he swore he had no more tears left in his eyes. He opened the door and moved to the living room where Mackenzie was seated.
She jumped from the couch immediately she caught sight of him. His bloodshot red eyes were sunken, deep into his sockets. With the wrenching pain in her chest, she wanted nothing more than to rush to him and hug him, to pull him into a tight embrace and apologize as many times as it was necessary to make him forgive her. But she couldn’t. She wasn’t sure it was time yet.
“Are you…” She stopped speaking to clear her throat.
“Are you okay? Do you need anything?”
Chase sniffed and shook his head.
“No, I’ll be fine. I just…can I see photos of the children? Good memories?” He chuckled, and Mackenzie’s cheeks spread out in a smile.
“Sure…” She caught herself staring at him and shook her head vehemently.
“Yeah, sure. I’ll get it.”
She moved to where he stood and brushed past him to get to the door. Chase’s nostrils caught the scent of her hair, the aroma of her cologne smeared on loose sleeves. He tilted his neck to look at her. She was merely inches away from him. If he reached for her hand, he could catch her and pull her to himself. He could hold her and never let her go.
Chase turned his face away with so much force he thought his neck would snap.
How could he be so mad at her, yet want her so much? There was so much going on in his head and heart, he needed her.
No matter how he wanted to stay mad at her forever, he knew it wasn’t possible. He had been filled with unconditional love for her – he was still filled with love for her.
Knowing she was the mother of his children just seemed to make his feelings for her stronger. They shared a bond now, with two adorable humans as the symbol of their passion.
She returned with a red photo album less than ten minutes later, and Chase took his time to admire all the photos. Their first walk, their first birthdays, outings at the park, school functions Mackenzie had found time to attend.
He asked about each of their first words, and she told him.
Cameron called his grandpa first, while Calista’s first word was “milk.”
Chase laughed when he heard it.
When they were done, Mackenzie closed the book and tucked it under her arm, while Chase heaved a sigh and reclined into the couch. She knew that there was a lot he had to say, so she stood quietly, waiting for him to speak.
“Since the children already answer your last name, I’m guessing I would have to adopt them legally, so they can have my name.” Chase started to speak, rubbing his forehead with his right fingers.
Mackenzie nodded in silence. They were his after all, and he had missed them. She was filled with regrets when she heard him sob. She had stayed back to listen, because she couldn’t help herself.
He had said what he wanted, it was her time to speak.
“I’m really sorry, once again.”
Chase sucked in a deep breath.
“Mackenzie…”
“Look, okay? I know that I have said that more times than I can count today, but I mean it. I could not just throw the news of the children at you.” When she was certain she had gotten his full attention, his eyes were fixed on her, she let out a long sigh and continued.
“When I first got pregnant, I wasn’t even sure who the father was, as weird as that might sound. I was ashamed of that, very ashamed. I had not told you when I was pregnant, so returning four years after and telling you about your kids would have been me throwing the news at your face and I…I didn’t want that.” She was talking so fast she could barely catch her breath.
It was the only way she would be able to say all the things on her mind without freezing underneath his stare.
“I know, it’s not a good enough excuse, like you said. But it was a decision I made, it was what I believed was best for my children. I had the plan to be on my own and take care of them on my own. But that was…” Her eyes softened as she watched him shift in the couch, eyes filled with anticipation.
“But that was until I returned and I met you again. Believe me when I say I started to rethink a lot of things, Chase. I genuinely wanted to show the kids to you, and I’m sorry that it took me this long. The children mean the world to me, Chase.”
She looked away from him and blinked rapidly, trying to hold back her tears, but it was of no use.
“I raised them with all the love in my heart, Chase. I really did. I knew that I was going to bring them to you one day, but it never stopped me from doing my best.”
He nodded, saying nothing. He had noticed how much the children loved each other, the people around them, the things around them, their mother. How they clung and held on to each other with care.
The last time he had seen or experienced such love was when his mother was still alive.
“They are my whole life,” she continued.
“And I would not try to deny the fact that I was really scared for the kids. Eleanor is a scary person, and I’m sorry to call you step mother scary, but it’s the truth. I’m really sorry Chase, and I hope…I really hope we can fix this.”
This.
Chase held back the questions that were heavy on his tongue.
He rose from the couch and slid his hands into his pockets, an act he was very fond of.
He could understand her fear, her confusion, still…
“I’ll see you around, Mackenzie.” Was all he said, before seeing himself to the front door.
Once the door was shut, Mackenzie fell into the couch Chase had previously sat on. She sank into the scent of his cologne that rested on every inch of the couch.
She stared at the door before letting out a deep sigh.
She was tired, so tired.