Once, my paranoid love

Why are you not looking at me



Elena had hurried to the washroom, leaving Derek alone in their room. He watched her retreating figure, the door clicking as she locked it behind her. The room felt emptier, devoid of her presence, and Derek was left to grapple with the knowledge he held.

Derek clenched his fists, frustration welling up within him. He understood Elena’s need for privacy, but he was compelled to see just how far she would go to maintain her facade.

With a determined resolve, Derek grabbed his coat and slipped it on. His footsteps echoed in the hallway as he made his way toward the dining room.

**

I descended the stairs quickly, my eyes searching for Derek amidst the vibrant chatter of the dining room. Spotting him, I approached with an attempt at a nonchalant smile, taking a seat beside him. His untouched breakfast caught my attention, and a pang of concern nudged at my conscience.

“You haven’t started yet,” I commented, my voice filled with feigned casualness. The weight of our unspoken secrets seemed to hang in the air, a heavy shroud that enveloped us.

Derek turned to me, his smile broad and disarming. “I was waiting for you, wife,” he said, his voice carrying an affectionate tone. His words left me momentarily stunned, and I returned his smile without a word.

As I reached for his plate to serve him, I noticed that he still hadn’t touched his food. Confusion swirled within me, and I felt the tension between us, palpable like a storm gathering on the horizon. “I… I serve you,” I offered, trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy.

But Derek’s response caught me off guard. “Feed me,” he said, his words ringing in my ears like an unexpected challenge. I blinked in disbelief, unable to fathom what he had just requested.

“What?” I asked, my voice trembling with a mixture of surprise and uncertainty. Derek’s request had thrown me into uncharted territory, and I was unsure of his intentions.

His bright smile persisted, but something in his eyes hinted at hidden motives. “I told you to feed me, Elena,” he repeated, his tone soft yet insistent. I couldn’t help but feel that there was more to his request than met the eye.

The dining room had fallen into a hushed lull, the surrounding conversations a distant hum.

With a deep breath, I picked up a fork and loaded it with a small portion of food. As I brought it to Derek’s lips, I couldn’t help but wonder what lay behind this unusual request. Was it a test? A form of silent retribution for the secrets I had concealed?

Derek accepted the bite of food, his eyes locked onto mine. He chewed slowly, his gaze unwavering, as though searching for something deeper within me.

As I obediently fed Derek, I avoided his gaze, my mind racing with questions and uncertainty. The weight of his request to be fed lingered in the air, a symbolic act that seemed to hint at something deeper, something unspoken.

Then, Derek’s voice broke through the silence, jolting me from my reverie. “Why are you not looking at me, Elena?” His words carried an undercurrent of intrigue, and I turned my gaze to him, my eyes meeting his with hesitation. “What… I am looking at you,” I replied, my voice trembling slightly.

Derek continued to smile at me, his eyes locked onto mine. The tension in the room was palpable, as though our unspoken secrets hung in the air like an invisible barrier.

Suddenly, Derek’s focus shifted, and he addressed the maids who were attending to their duties in the dining room. “Leave us alone,” he said, his voice carrying a command that sent my heart racing.

My eyes darted around the room, a sense of unease settling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t help but wonder what Derek had in mind.

With the maids having departed, leaving Derek and me alone in the dining room, he extended his hand toward me. “Hold my hand,” he said, his voice gentle but carrying an air of anticipation.

My heart raced as I hesitated for a moment, considering the weight of his request.

Slowly, I reached out and held his hand, our fingers intertwining.

Suddenly, Derek pulled me toward him, and before I could react, I found myself seated on his lap. I tried to get up, startled by the unexpected gesture, but he held me tightly. He murmured, his voice filled with a plea, as he rested his head on my shoulder, “Please, let me stay here for a moment.”

My heart ached as I felt the warmth of his embrace, but beneath the surface, a surge of guilt washed over me. The weight of my actions from the previous night hung heavily on my conscience. Derek trusted me, and if he were to discover the truth, it could lead to a profound misunderstanding.

I bit my lower lip, torn between the desire to protect our marriage and the need to be honest. The unspoken truth loomed like a shadow, and I couldn’t bear to let Derek live in the dark.Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.

Taking a deep breath, I made a choice. “Derek…” I began, my voice trembling, “there’s something I need to tell you.”

He tightened his grip on me, still resting his head on my shoulder, but he didn’t say anything. The silence that hung between us was heavy with expectation.

As Derek held me tightly in his lap, I realized that he had already deduced the truth about the previous night.

The weight of my guilt pressed upon me, and I lowered my gaze, my voice filled with remorse.

“I am sorry. I…” I began, my words faltering as I struggled to express the depth of my regret. I had let Derek down, betrayed his trust, and I couldn’t bear to see the pain in his eyes.

But before I could finish my confession or seek his forgiveness, Derek interrupted me. “Elena, I think I should go or else I will be late,” he said, his voice tinged with a sense of urgency.

I looked at him in surprise, my guilt washing over my face like a tidal wave. I opened my mouth to say something, to explain, to apologize, but before I could utter a word, Derek leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on my forehead.

“I think today I won’t be able to drive you to college,” he said, his words heavy with the weight of unspoken disappointment.

And just like that, he left me sitting there alone, the sound of his departure echoing in my ears. I desperately wanted to call out his name, to explain, to make amends, but my voice failed me.

“Derek…”


Tip: You can use left, right, A and D keyboard keys to browse between chapters.