Chapter-93. Metamorphosis
[Asher]
For the time being, Xanthea was safe with Ezra in the Glass palace.
As for Raven...
"Why are we here?" Raven demanded an answer from Nyssa, closing the space between them, but Nyssa just hugged herself tighter, avoiding his gaze.
Nyssa had teleported Raven into the empty, dimly lit student lounge in Helxton.
When she didn't reply, Raven stepped closer to her, but she stepped away from him.
"Nyssa? What's wrong with you now?" Raven grunted. "I asked you a question. Why did you bring us here?"
Biting down on her lower lip, Nyssa looked at the majestic dragon skeletons that dominated the dark space.
"Because you always came here. I always found you under this dragon skeleton, staying alone day and night, studying like a madman. So today, I thought you might find yourself here again, under this very dragon," she said, her firm voice wavering slightly.
"What?" Raven frowned.
"You were the brightest student in our batch, Raven. Every professor at Helxton was impressed by your exceptional healing abilities, which you honed through sheer effort," Nyssa said, her voice hard with emotion. Raven squinted his eyes, trying to comprehend Nyssa's words.
"I envied you back then, but now I have nothing but respect for you. You are the best healer and alchemist in the Underworld only because you have earned it through your fucking blood, sweat, and tears." "What the hell are you even saying? This is so abrupt. I thought you wanted to spend the night-" Raven started, confusion dominating his voice.
"How can you be so self-centered, Raven?" Nyssa's voice quivered as she stared into his perplexed eyes. "Forget about me. You're so trapped within yourself that you can't even see how broken you are right now! You are in no condition to have sex, Raven!"
Taken aback, Raven studied Nyssa as she looked away, taking a deep breath and quickly wiping away her tears.
The silence in the lounge stretched as Raven shut his eyes, trying to get a hold of himself.
I knew the only person who could help Raven recover his true self was Nyssa, perhaps because no one understood him as deeply as she did - not even himself.
Nyssa has been a constant support for Raven and even today when she was so badly hurt by his actions, she was standing by his side. But he was about to lose even that support. It was time for him to stand all alone.
"When I first saw you," Nyssa began, her eyes lost in the reminisce of their memories. "I really wanted to ask why you looked so angry. But when I got to know you, I wanted to ask something else - but I didn't, because I was afraid I might break something that was barely staying together. But today, Raven, I really want to know... why did you look so... sad all the time?"
Slipping his hands in his pocket, Raven gazed at the dragon.
It wasn't that he didn't want to reply to her; he simply didn't know what to say.
Nyssa understood his silence, but she couldn't stop herself from snapping at him.
"After everything that's happened, what exactly are you trying to protect? Your ego? Your false reasons? Your hatred? Your envy?"
Raven clenched his jaws, lowering his gaze. She grabbed his arm and forced him to look at her.
"That omega is not the only one fucking with your emotions right now. Every hurtful word you said to Ezra is crushing you with a guilt that you know you can't escape."
Raven took a deep breath, allowing the weight of her words to settle on him.
"You'll never accept it, but what you did to Asher is weighing heavily on you." Tears filled Nyssa's eyes, as if she could sense all the pain in Raven's heart.
"Enough-" Raven said, his words shaking with his raging emotions.
"Asher was never your competition!" Nyssa's raised voice drowned away Raven's.
Running his fingers through his hair, Raven ran his tongue across his inner cheek.
"Everything you do has a reason behind it and no, it's not the reason you arrogantly plaster on the real ones. The real reason you made me stand against Viella for the Luna rank is that you knew she wasn't the right woman for Asher. You understood that for whatever political or social reasons, he couldn't just break off his engagement with her."
"This is ridiculous..." Raven scoffed, frustration draining into his eyes as he glared at Nyssa.
"Deny it all you want, but you care about Asher, perhaps more than you care about Ezra or yourself... because you see him. He has always been your coping mechanism. What can be a better relief to pain, insecurities, and inferiority complex than rage and hatred? And since you lost your only coping mechanism today, you turned to me to help you run away from yourself... but I can't do that."
"For devil's sake, Nyssa-"
"I can't let you touch me! Not when I know you'll be thinking of some other woman finding her warmth on my skin, wishing her body was wrapped around yours, not mine. That thought isn't just disturbing, it's disrespectful to me... to our relationship. You don't touch a woman to distract yourself from some other woman or to prove something to someone. You touch a woman because when she is around, you just... can't... keep your hands to yourself."
The agitation in Raven's mind reflected on the scowl on his face, which turned into shock for a split second before impassiveness took over as he glanced at the tears that streamed down Nyssa's eyes.
I might not know the depths of Raven's heart, but I was certain he cared about Nyssa. Whether it was as a friend or something more, that wasn't for me to decide.
"I know it's scary to leave your true feelings vulnerable in someone else's hands. But you can't keep denying them. You may not get tired of running away from them, but the people around you will. And eventually, they'll give up on you because everything isn't always about you."
"Nyssa..." Raven reached out to wipe Nyssa's tears, but she stepped farther away from him.
"You don't even see your achievements as achievements. You'll never reach your true power until you accept them and stop comparing yourself to Asher. You can never be Asher Xipher, not because you are any less or more than him, but because you are meant to be Raven Xipher. Until you realize your own value, nothing is going to change."
She held his gaze in plea and in defeat. Today, Raven wasn't able to look away from the reflection of himself in her eyes.
"I care about you, Raven, to the point I can fight this entire world for you, but I can't fight you. I don't want to be your distraction or your regret." Her chin quivered as she bit down on her lower lip. "But I can't give you up either. But for the time being, for you... I set you free."
Those were probably the most painful words I had heard in a while - and also the bravest.
Taking a shaky breath, Nyssa gasped as she fought for composure. But each tear she wiped away was soon replaced by a heavier one.
"Stop. Just stop..." Drawing his brows together, Raven pulled her into a hug, nullifying all her resistance in his arms as she broke into breathless sobs.
Raven couldn't bring himself to say sorry, but the way his embrace tightened around her - he was nothing but apologies.
But he was too late...
Nyssa got a hold of herself and just when she yearned to hold him tighter, she forced herself to let him go.
"I have an important surgery. Take care of yourself."
"Nyssa..." Raven reached out to her, but she had already disappeared from the student lounge.
Taking a deep breath, Raven scrubbed his palm over his face.
He stood in the heavy darkness, breathing heavily as he tried to collect himself. With weary steps, he trudged closer to the glass pedestal the dragon's skeleton stood on.
Raven settled onto the floor, legs stretched out in front of him, his back and head resting against the pedestal as he looked up at the dragon.
This wasn't the first time he had looked up at the dragon and wished for numbness. He had been here in the same spot years ago with the pain that created who he was today. But the pain he felt today would shape him into who he was truly meant to be.
He had spent most of his university days under the dragon skeleton.
"It's been a while...." Raven whispered weakly to the dragon before shutting his hollow eyes and draping his arm across them.
Raven was the butterfly who needed to see his own wings to trigger the metamorphosis of his soul. And according to father, transformation into one's stronger version was always a painful, lonely and dark process. But I was glad that Raven was neither alone nor in complete darkness.
Moonlight reflected off the dragon's bones, enveloping Raven in a tranquil ambiance. It felt as if his tormented heart had finally found the peace it was suffocating for, seeking solace in the dragon's shadow.
***
Dawn broke on the horizon, and the white serenity around Raven was painted red.
"Who's here? Don't you know the night classes have been canceled?" An officer said, cautiously walking into the lounge. "Students aren't allowed to stay back in the university until the were-cat and the kid are found," another officer said. Raven opened his eyes, his brows tensed as he looked at the two officers. Just then, one of them flicked on the lights.
00000
It took the sleepy officers a few seconds to realize who they were addressing and once they did, both of them went down to their knees, their foreheads hitting the floor in a bow. "M-m-my lord! Pardon us, Alpha. W-we thought-"
"What did you say about the were-cat? And what kid?" He asked.
The officers exchanged a nervous glance before they updated Raven with the details about the kids.
It didn't take long for Raven to piece together what was happening; after all, he had once helped weak bloods escape himself.
He stood up, the dragon skeleton towering behind him as glowing red butterflies swirled around his silhouette, confirming his suspicions of Xanthea being behind all this.
Nyssa was right when she said Raven always had deeper reasons behind everything he did, and those reasons were often emotional, which is why he never acknowledged them.
And the reason he was so protective of Xanthea's dreams was because he never deemed himself worthy of having one of his own.
He saw glimpses of everything he could have been in Xanthea, and in that moment, the truth came crashing down on him.
Back then, he had helped a few kids escape to the weak-blood colonies beyond the borders of the Prime pack and he paid a heavy price for it. He couldn't let Xanthea make the same mistake and for his guilt towards Ezra to deepen. He couldn't allow history to repeat itself.
But again, it was already too late; he had already taken a step toward the very future he was trying to avoid.
"That stupid omega!" He raked back his hair in frustration. "Ezra. He can't find out about the boy. I need to get rid of those kids before he finds out."
Raven teleported to the Aile castle in a hurry, and it didn't take long for the news to reach Xanthea.
***Exclusive © content by N(ô)ve/l/Drama.Org.
Xanthea's phone rang, rattling the foundation of the Glass palace, waking her up to a message from Lana that threatened to shatter everything she had built with Ezra so far.
(Squirrels in danger. Alpha Raven's in your room. Come home! Fast!)
She peered at the message with wide eyes, then frantically looked around the room for Ezra.
Swallowing hard, barely breathing, she texted Lana, her fingers shaking.
(Lana, can you please tell Mavka to pick me up from the Glass palace immediately?)
Getting down from the bed, she dressed up in a hurry, restlessly checking her phone after every second.
"Angel?"
Xanthea froze in her place, her back facing Ezra as he strolled into the living room, holding a steaming mug of coffee in his hand.
"You going somewhere?" Ezra asked.
Holding her phone close to her chest, Xanthea nervously bit down on her lip before she turned around to face him, acting as normal as she could.
"Yeah. To the castle," she said calmly. "I have my classes. Helxton. I have an important assignment due today. Lana just reminded me. It carries a lot of points. So... if I leave now. I might complete it on time." "Okay." Ezra nodded, oblivious to the storm that had started to pick up the pace. "Get ready; I'll take you to the castle-"
"NO!" she yelled.
Ezra raised his brows, puzzled.
Xanthea chuckled, "actually... I asked Mavka, m-my maid, to pick me up. She'll be here any moment."
"It'll be safer if I take you. Get ready," he said, entering the bedroom.
Keeping the mug on the nightstand, Ezra put on his shirt, but before he could button up, Xanthea walked to him, held his hand, and made him sit on the bed.
"I know you are worried about my safety. But... you can't always be everywhere with me. I should learn to fend for myself. Or else how am I going to get stronger?" she asked.
Ezra looked unsure.
"Alpha..." she caressed his hands softly. "Trust me, I'll be fine."
Ezra's face remained stoic, but he nodded reluctantly.
"Thank you!" Xanthea smiled and kissed his cheek.
She tried not to panic or look suspicious as he picked up her suit coat and put on her heels.
Ezra calmly sat on the chair in the living room, reading Xanthea's chat with Lana on his phone. He knew she was lying to him, but he wanted to know why, so he sat back and watched. "Your ride's here," Ezra said, and Xanthea almost flinched at his dark tone.
"I... well... Uhm. See you in the evening, Alpha," she said.
He nodded, giving her a small smile.
Wiping sweat off her nose, she was about to leave when Ezra got up from the chair.
"Is there something you'd like to share with me?" Ezra asked.
Xanthea's grip on her phone tightened.
"No. Why?"
He shrugged. "Just asking."
"I don't want to stand between you and your dreams." He stepped closer to her. "I don't want to control anything about you. But I'd just like to be involved - included in your life." Almost out of habit, her body stiffened when he reached out and touched her cheek.
"Do you trust me, Xanthea?"
She stood petrified, taken aback by the question. Those few seconds of silence and her subtle micro-expression were enough for me to realize she meant the opposite of what she answered.
"Yes." she said with a smile which wasn't fake but wasn't real either.
"Then I hope you know there's nothing I won't do to help you however I can."
"I know. But it's really nothing important, Alpha. Just the assignments. Trust me, I will not hesitate to ask for help when I need it. So, you too feel free to reach out to me. I know I'm stupid to think you'd ever need my help, but if you ever do, I'll be there."
"Ok," Ezra smiled softly, kissing her forehead.
***
As Xanthea drove away from the Glass palace, Ezra stood on the balcony, watching her leave from above.
I opened my eyes, my grip tight on the throne.
Now the course of events depends on your decision, Ezra. I really hope you don't go to the castle. Please, don't go after Xanthea, brother. Not today.
"Why did she lie?" Ezra whispered, staring at his phone screen.
He grabbed his car keys as he rushed out of his condo. Getting in his car, he sped towards the Aile castle.
I got up from the throne.
"Draknor. Prepare the castle. Tighten the security around and within. And Nesryn..." I stepped down the dais. "Summon all the top teams of crisis healers in the castle."
Nesryn and Draknor exchanged a nervous glance before rushing out of the throne room.
I let out a sigh.
I really wish you stayed in the Glass palace today, Ezra.
I knew this would happen one day, but I didn't know I would be so under-prepared for it.