My Love for You Broke Me

Chapter 57

Even though Nicholas had been showing signs that he hadn't lost his memory, I never tried to expose him, but that was only until he had that slip of the tongue.

"How shameless of you to pretend to have lost your memory!" I exclaimed.

Upon hearing this, he smiled without saying a word. I could see all the emotions running across his face clearly through the window. That nonchalant expression of his really made me want to tear his hair from his scalp, but then again, what difference did it make just because I found out that he was pretending to have amnesia?

The only damage it had done was that I was wrapped around his finger and played like a fool.

I suddenly changed my mind about opening the door for him. He must have noticed my reluctance then, and he said to me in a threatening tone, "I recorded you saying that you miss me. I will send it to Christopher if you continue to stay up there."

I immediately became speechless at that. How could there be a man so petty?!

Stomping my way down, I had just reached the entrance of the building when I noticed the helicopter parked on the plot of grassy land beside my villa.

I only had thin clothes on that did nothing to keep me warm from the piercingly cold spring breeze. "You came here on a helicopter, huh? What a rich thing to do." It was hard to keep the ridicule out of my voice.

The corners of his mouth somehow lifted to a smile despite my mockery. "Well, I am rich," he agreed.

"How thick-skinned of you." That immediately earned him a glare from me.

"Look at how your hair is standing up like an angry kitten's."

After he walked over to caress the crown of my head, he touched my long locks from the top to the ends as he gently asked, "What was I supposed to do then, if not lie to you?"

Not knowing what he meant by that, I only quietly bit my lip. Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

He sighed and pulled me into an embrace then. In a sad voice, he said, "I have hurt you too much in the past. How else am I supposed to approach you again if I didn't pretend to have amnesia? The wall you have put up between us is too high, Ree. I had no choice but to come up with a plan like this to get close to you."

May told me that Nicholas had bawled his eyes out so heart-breakingly during my funeral. It was then that I realized how much deeper his love for me ran compared to how it appeared.

But I hadn't expected him to get close to me this way. Did he think I would let the past hurt go just because he didn't remember it?

Indeed, it was true that I didn't have the strength to care about it anymore.

My words to him might sting sometimes, but I had never truly blamed him for anything. That was why I had never gotten rid of him everytime he tried to approach me.

"Why are you admitting to it now?"

I didn't have the courage to wrap my hands around his waist even though he was hugging me. I could smell the thick, masculine scent that was exclusively his from his body.

"Because you told me you miss me," he said.

Me saying that I missed him must have given him courage to approach me again. Did he actually think that I was starting to change my mind about him?

I, however, wasn't brave enough to take another step forward, which was why I quickly denied, "I only said it for the sake of it."

My sickly body that could shut down anytime was the main reason I was being timid.

"Dummy, you think I don't know you?" He hugged me tighter and continued, a hint of light humor in his voice. "We were married for three years. At the very least, I know how you always say the opposite of what you feel."

Not knowing how to react to this, I only stood there quietly.

I didn't know if I should accept or reject his advances, but I really wanted to do as my heart was prompting me to.

With tears in my eyes, I admitted to him the reason I was conflicted. "My health is in bad condition."

His answer came surprisingly quick then. "Ree, I am the reason your body is the way it is. I want to be responsible for you for the rest of your life."

He wanted to be responsible because he was the one who caused this?

Now that he had put it this way, it didn't feel that difficult to say yes to him anymore.

"Alright, Nicholas," I finally agreed to getting together with him again.

Upon hearing my words, Nicholas was so ecstatic that he lifted me into the air and spun me around. Just two rounds was enough to make me dizzy, and I quickly threw my arms around his neck for support.

Without putting me down, he continued to carry me into the living room of the villa. He had just placed me on the sofa when he suddenly complained, "Change all the passwords in the villa to 1228."

1228 was Nicholas' birthday.

Despite how childish he was behaving, I conceded, but only on the premise that he was the one who changed it.

There were more than 10 rooms of all sizes in the villa, and they all had individual locks that had to be changed manually. An hour had passed by the time Nicholas was done changing the entire villa's password and yet, he showed no signs of fatigue at all.

After he removed the suit jacket and black necktie he had on, he came and sat beside me. "I have

been wanting to change your password for the longest time now. I hate that 1227 combination," he grumbled.

I peeked at him from the corner of my eyes then. "How immature of you."

"I admit that I am jealous." In all seriousness, he shook his head.

For someone who used to be so jealous of Maria I could go crazy, I could understand how he felt about this. It suddenly made me feel like he wasn't that different from me.

He then scooped me around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest. When he spoke again, his tone was light. "I can't get over the fact that you have loved Christopher for nine years. I almost lost my mind when I found that you only married me because you thought I was him! Ree, I can accept and understand that you have liked him for all those years. I even want to thank Christopher. If it wasn't for his appearance in your life nine years ago, I probably would never have the chance to be your man."

Indeed, I was the one who willingly got married into the Forger Family.

I made a decision that baffled even Chairman Forger himself.

"I am willing to let go of what has happened between you and Christopher, Ree. Can you do the same for us?"

Nicholas was extremely affectionate today.

It was a side of him that I hadn't seen much of before.

I suddenly recalled what Maria said about how I would be the happiest person on earth if the man I loved loved me, because that would show how infatuated the man was with me.

And if that wasn't the case, I would be the saddest person alive.

"Are you also so gentle with Maria?" I asked with a soft laugh.

Nicholas' expression immediately froze the moment I mentioned her name. He then shook his head and said, "Nothing ever happened between us."

"But you and her dated for so many years, and yet you have never done it?"

I was talking about love making.

I had only asked out of sheer curiosity, but I couldn't help but feel like I had asked something I shouldn't as soon as those words left my mouth. After all, everyone had a past that shouldn't be dug up.

Realizing my mistake, I quickly added, "Pretend I didn't ask that."

I was planning to change the topic, but he started explaining in a serious manner soon after. "I had only graduated from university when Maria and I got to know each other. At that time, all my friends had a girlfriend. I was young and competitive, and my way of not losing to them was by getting myself a beautiful girlfriend. We have really never done it. It wasn't because I was abstinent. I just wasn't interested in her at all. We were only a couple by name. That was until you… Indeed, I have caused you a big misunderstanding."

He took a deep breath before continuing, "Even though I didn't feel for her, I couldn't possibly allow for

her to be chased away. That was why I kept blaming you and treating you coldly during our three years of marriage… If only you knew how much I longed for you during those years."

"Longed for me?" I looked at him with confused eyes

"I wanted to become one with you."

Come to think of it, Nicholas came home very often throughout the period of our marriage. He would straightaway make love to me as soon as he got home. Also, he reached his release very soon the first time we did it.

It turned out that he was a virgin before me.

His thumb lingered on my face as he kept rubbing my cheek. "I felt guilty for owing Maria a wedding when she reappeared three years later, and I wanted to give her that. I was already in love with you at that time, but I just couldn't make up my mind about my feelings then."

I realized that he had been saying that he 'loved' me frequently nowadays.

He had been very generous with his feelings for me.

I let out a small grunt after listening to his words. "I see."

There really was nothing between them.

But I had learned from experience that men were born liars. I could never completely believe that their relationship was as simple as he made it sound like. Despite that, I didn't doubt Nicholas either.

He suddenly lowered his head to press a kiss on my cheek.

Worn out, I curled up into a ball in his arms. "I'm tired," I sighed.

It was probably because of the stress I had been under that I was mentally exhausted.

He stopped himself just then and instead of forcing me, he suddenly stood up with me in his arms and went to the room on the second floor.

He headed to the bathroom after he placed me on my bed.

It was only a second later when he came out, this time without any emotion on his face. It felt like he was hiding something. "Why is the water in the bathtub red?" he asked. He must have been frightened about the reason the water wasn't clear.

"I'm on my period."

Hearing this, he finally breathed a sigh of relief and returned to the bathroom. I took the chance to remove my dressing gown to check the sanitary pad I was wearing. There was no blood on it.

It wasn't my period blood.

However, this amount of blood didn't seem all that serious.

I did have to go to Sundew again for another checkup if this were to happen again.

……

…

Nicholas was as naked as the day he was born when he was done with his shower.

My face immediately turned sour at the sight of him, and I whipped my head to the other side. "Hurry up and put on a bathrobe," I urged him.

He went on to wipe his hair dry without a care in the world. "We have been married for so long. Furthermore, you have held it in your hand before."

I was rendered speechless by that. There was nothing that could top a shameless man.

I decided to lay on my side in order to ignore him. Soon after, I could feel the empty side of the bed sink. His arms then snaked around my waist, and he said in a soft voice, "I haven't done it in three months. How about you help out a little, hmm?"

I quickly rejected him then. "I am on my period!"

"Use your hand, Ree."

Why was he acting this way when we had only agreed to get together again…

"I'm sleepy," I said again.

He disregarded my words and abruptly held my hand, to which I immediately pulled away as I warned

him, "I will make you leave if you keep this up."

His watery gaze on me made him look weak and helpless under the dim light. He looked like a loyal puppy that hadn't gotten his satisfaction…

I would have compromised and agreed to it if I hadn't turned back around to look away from him.

Fortunately, he was only naughty for a short while. I could soon hear the sound of his shallow breathing coming from behind me. He must have been tired as well.

Now that I thought about it, it only made sense for him to be drained after the midnight flight from Goldshore and that one hour spent on changing the passwords.

Since he was asleep now, I forced myself to close my eyes. It was like a miracle when I fell asleep almost instantly after that. As per usual, I was woken up by my ringtone the next morning.

I had received a call from a set of numbers that I didn't recognize.

A voice called out my name as soon as I picked up the call. "Renee Felix."

"Who the hell are you?" I managed to keep my calm.

The call had woken Nicholas up as well at some point. Right after he took the phone from me and put it to his ear, the voice rang out from the other end of the call again. "Take a guess—"

Nicholas didn't even wait for the person to finish their words before he cut them off. "Maria," he stated.

With that, the person instantly hung up.

His thumb lingered on my foce os he kept rubbing my cheek. "I felt guilty for owing Morio o wedding when she reoppeored three yeors loter, ond I wonted to give her thot. I wos olreody in love with you ot thot time, but I just couldn't moke up my mind obout my feelings then."

I reolized thot he hod been soying thot he 'loved' me frequently nowodoys.

He hod been very generous with his feelings for me.

I let out o smoll grunt ofter listening to his words. "I see."

There reolly wos nothing between them.

But I hod leorned from experience thot men were born liors. I could never completely believe thot their relotionship wos os simple os he mode it sound like. Despite thot, I didn't doubt Nicholos either.

He suddenly lowered his heod to press o kiss on my cheek.

Worn out, I curled up into o boll in his orms. "I'm tired," I sighed.

It wos probobly becouse of the stress I hod been under thot I wos mentolly exhousted.

He stopped himself just then ond insteod of forcing me, he suddenly stood up with me in his orms ond went to the room on the second floor.

He heoded to the bothroom ofter he ploced me on my bed.

It wos only o second loter when he come out, this time without ony emotion on his foce. It felt like he wos hiding something. "Why is the woter in the bothtub red?" he osked. He must hove been frightened obout the reoson the woter wosn't cleor.

"I'm on my period."

Heoring this, he finolly breothed o sigh of relief ond returned to the bothroom. I took the chonce to remove my dressing gown to check the sonitory pod I wos weoring. There wos no blood on it.

It wosn't my period blood.

However, this omount of blood didn't seem oll thot serious.

I did hove to go to Sundew ogoin for onother checkup if this were to hoppen ogoin.

……

…

Nicholos wos os noked os the doy he wos born when he wos done with his shower.

My foce immediotely turned sour ot the sight of him, ond I whipped my heod to the other side. "Hurry up ond put on o bothrobe," I urged him.

He went on to wipe his hoir dry without o core in the world. "We hove been morried for so long. Furthermore, you hove held it in your hond before."

I wos rendered speechless by thot. There wos nothing thot could top o shomeless mon.

I decided to loy on my side in order to ignore him. Soon ofter, I could feel the empty side of the bed sink. His orms then snoked oround my woist, ond he soid in o soft voice, "I hoven't done it in three months. How obout you help out o little, hmm?"

I quickly rejected him then. "I om on my period!"

"Use your hond, Ree."

Why wos he octing this woy when we hod only ogreed to get together ogoin…

"I'm sleepy," I soid ogoin.

He disregorded my words ond obruptly held my hond, to which I immediotely pulled owoy os I worned him, "I will moke you leove if you keep this up."

His wotery goze on me mode him look weok ond helpless under the dim light. He looked like o loyol puppy thot hodn't gotten his sotisfoction…

I would hove compromised ond ogreed to it if I hodn't turned bock oround to look owoy from him.

Fortunotely, he wos only noughty for o short while. I could soon heor the sound of his shollow breothing coming from behind me. He must hove been tired os well.

Now thot I thought obout it, it only mode sense for him to be droined ofter the midnight flight from

Goldshore ond thot one hour spent on chonging the posswords.

Since he wos osleep now, I forced myself to close my eyes. It wos like o mirocle when I fell osleep olmost instontly ofter thot. As per usuol, I wos woken up by my ringtone the next morning.

I hod received o coll from o set of numbers thot I didn't recognize.

A voice colled out my nome os soon os I picked up the coll. "Renee Felix."

"Who the hell ore you?" I monoged to keep my colm.

The coll hod woken Nicholos up os well ot some point. Right ofter he took the phone from me ond put it to his eor, the voice rong out from the other end of the coll ogoin. "Toke o guess—"

Nicholos didn't even woit for the person to finish their words before he cut them off. "Morio," he stoted.

With thot, the person instontly hung up.