My Hockey Alpha



"Nina, you need to tell me what's going on."

In the aftermath of my mad dash to the bathroom, Enzo's concerned voice hung in the silent air.

The weight of everything was pressing down on me, the silence only punctuated by the sounds of the birds outside and the ocean below. My eyes flitted from Enzo's concerned gaze to the overturned plate, scrambled eggs and toast forming a mushy mosaic on the white bedsheets.

"It's nothing," I said quickly, my heart racing as I grabbed a handful of tissues from the bedside table. I bent down to clean the mess, hoping my movements would distract him from the question. "I'm really sorry about the mess, Enzo. And your hard work went to waste. I'll take us to the diner this morning to make up for it if you'd like."

His face remained unreadable as he picked up the empty plate and set it on the nightstand. "It's not about the mess, Nina. It's about you. Are you sick?"Ccontent © exclusive by Nô/vel(D)ra/ma.Org.

I shrugged. "Maybe," I replied. "The smell of the eggs just got to me, that's all."

Enzo made a face, but said nothing. I knew that he was onto me; I loved eggs. It wasn't like me at all to turn down a warm plate of scrambled eggs and bacon, and yet here I was, turned off by the smell for the second day in a

row.

I finished mopping up the last of the eggs and tossed the tissues into the wastebasket, then looked up at him, just wanting to change the subject. "So, do you still want to spend the day with me? Or have I completely ruined the mood?"

He smiled gently, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Of course I want to spend the day with you. But not if I'm worried that something's going on with you that you're not telling me, Nina."

*I told you, I'm just not feeling the best," I said, maybe a little too defensively. "The smell of eggs has been bothering me the past couple of days. That's it."

Before Enzo could answer, I crossed the room back to the bathroom, where I pulled my toothbrush out of the medicine cabinet and began to scrub away the remnants of my morning escapade. However, it wasn't long before Enzo appeared in the mirror, leaning against the doorframe.

Enzo folded his arms across his chest, his eyes narrowing. "You must think I'm a fool if you think I buy that explanation for one second. I know you, Nina. Something else is going on."

Feeling cornered, I spat my toothpaste out into the sink and snapped back a little more harshly than I intended. "I don't know why you're prying so much. It's really not that serious. I have everything under control."

He gestured at the remaining stains on the sheets. "Is this what you call 'under control"?"

His words hit a nerve, making me instantly realize the absurdity of my lame excuses. I sighed deeply, pressing my hands into the bathroom counter and finally meeting his eyes in the mirror. "You've always been too perceptive for your own good, you know?"

He chuckled softly. "I don't think it requires much perception when my wife is running to vomit first thing in the morning."

My eyes met his, and in that moment, I saw the raw worry that he had been trying to mask with his calm demeanor. The realization struck me: there was no hiding from Enzo, and maybe there shouldn't be. Jessica and Lori were right; I couldn't handle this on my own. And if I didn't open up to Enzo sooner rather than later, it would shatter the trust we had worked so hard to build.

*Alright. I might be...pregnant," I blurted out, my voice laced with a mixture of regret and relief. The words were like a dam breaking, releasing a torrent of hidden emotions. "But I don't know for sure. I haven't taken a test yet."

Enzo took a step back, his face going through a myriad of expressions: shock, hurt, and finally, resignation. "You

might be pregnant? And you didn't tell me sooner? How long have you been dealing with this?"

"Just since yesterday," I stammered, my eyes downcast, avoiding his penetrating gaze. "I'm sorry. I was just... unsure."

There was a heavy silence that fell over the room before Enzo crossed through the doorway to meet me. His strong, calloused hands gripped my shoulders, practically forcing me to look up at him. "Nina, you're my wife," he began. "I'm not too mad since you say you only just started having suspicions yesterday. But... damn. You should have told me immediately."

I swallowed, blinking away the tears that threatened to come. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner," I murmured. "It's just...I didn't want to ruin your dreams. You've been offered that coaching position, and you've been so excited about this. I thought, maybe, if I am pregnant, you would stay back for me"

"Maybe I would," Enzo said, his voice coming across as more thoughtful than upset. "But that's my decision to make if that's what I want to do. It's not fair for you to keep something like that from me. And besides, I would have found out eventually."

For a moment, I felt my throat clench as memories of my conversation with Lori and Jessica the night before flickered through my mind. The concept of a secret abortion had wandered occasionally through my psyche.

"Nina?" Enzo asked, as though reading my mind. "I would have found out eventually... right?'

I paused, instinctively biting down hard on my bottom lip to keep it from quivering. My eyes darted away, through the doorway and back to the mess I had made in the bedroom.

His eyes narrowed, a hint of betrayal flashing through his face for a split second before he appeared to regain his composure. "Were you planning on having an abortion without telling me?"

The directness of his question was like a physical blow. I looked up, meeting his eyes for the first time since the conversation started. "It... crossed my mind," I admitted, taking note of the quiver in my voice. "But I don't even know for sure. I haven't taken a test yet."

For a long moment, he didn't say anything. I could see him wrestling with his feelings, trying to make sense of the dilemma we were stuck with. When he finally spoke, his voice had a calmness that took me by surprise.

"Look, we need to be sure first. I'll take you to the pharmacy. We can get a pregnancy test," he offered, his words measured but supportive.

My heart felt like it might shatter from a mixture of love, relief, and even a little dread. "You'd do that? Even though I thought about keeping this from you?"

His face softened. "Yes, because no matter what, we're in this together. I wish you had told me sooner, but we can't change the past."

Enzo's words made my body relax. I felt my shoulders slump, and as though sensing my tightly wound nerves, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a hug. I took a deep breath and inhaled his scent, allowing it to envelop me entirely.

*Now come on," Enzo said after a few moments, gently kissing the top of my head. "Let's go get that test."