My Hockey Alpha Neighbor

The moment I step into the locker room, I’m struck by the heavy atmosphere in the air. The usual banter and camaraderie of the pre-game space is completely absent. Instead, there is a palpable sense of unease.

As expected, morale in the room is low. For a moment, I feel a pang of awkwardness at entering without Aiden by my side. I push forward regardless.

Mr. Whitlock and Coach Henry are in the corner of the locker room, discussing something quietly amongst themselves. They notice as I enter the locker room. Richard immediately perks up..

“Ms. Miller, he says with a smile, “what a pleasant surprise” He makes his way over to me. “How can we help you today?”

I swallow hard. It’s hard to explain exactly what I’m hoping to do. “Well… Aiden had some well-wishes for the team, and he was hoping I would come here and share them,” I say as confidently as I can.

Richard nods approvingly. “I think that’s a great idea,” he says. He turns toward the crowd of players getting ready. “Everyone! Listen up. Ms. Miller has some words from Aiden to share.”

ep breath, trying to push aside my apprehension. I

I feel the team’s eyes settle on me. Their gazes feel heavy. I take a deep gather my thoughts and step forward.

“I know that things are difficult right now,” I acknowledge, “but also know how hard you’ve all trained for this moment. that you can You’re a team. No injury can hold you back. If you go out there and play like you always do, there’s no way

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Richard nods approvingly. “Ms. Miller is right. This isn’t the time to dwell on Aiden’s absence. You were a team before he joined, and you’ve only improved since then. Put trust in yourselves and give it your all.”

Despite the words of encouragement, I can sense a lingering atmosphere of doubt plaguing the team. They seem almost like they’re too nervous to listen to any encouragement night now. I can tell the weight of Aiden’s absence is only making them more uncomfortable.

I decide to sit on the sidelines for the game. I text Aiden to make sure he’s alright with that, and he highly approves. I sit with the team administration on the sidelines as the game begins.

From the sound of the first buzzer, my heart sinks. The team’s nervousness manifests in costly mistakes on the field that could have easily been avoided. Passes go astray, shots are missed, and the other team is let through their defensive line over and over again

The audience doesn’t seem to be helping, either. Although the crowd is vocal as always, it seems that their focus is more on Aiden than the match at hand. Most of the signs in the audience were focused on Aiden and his absence rather than the game at large. Even the cheers and chants were more focused on him.

The focus on Aiden only seems to exacerbate the team’s poor performance. Like the mail in the coffin to their failure, the team’s confidence seems to only crumble more and more with each passing minute,

By the start of the second half, the Freeze is trailing behind in points. The scoreboard shines above the rink like a harsh reminder of the threat of failure hanging over them. Even Coach Henry seems to have lost some of his fire at this point. Things are looking grim.

I’m surprised by the feeling of my phone buzzing in my pocket pull it out to find that Aiden has texted me. My heart sinks. I know he’s likely been watching the game closely. Knowing him, he must feel so guilty and powerless at the way things are progressing.

As I read the text, however, I’m surprised to see that isn’t his focus at all. Instead, the text reads:

“I know you can help them. Please, Carol, work your magic. You’re their best shot at victory?

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I rub my forehead. As much as I appreciate his faith, I feel as though all I can do is disappoint. I already tried to encourage them. I’m not sure how anything I say could affect them at this point. Still, I want to try.

‘I’ll give it my best, I text Aiden back. Steeling myself, the moment that the buzzer for halftime goes off, I make my way toward the locker room.

I leave my seat in the stands before the Coach and team owner do, hoping to catch the team before they get too pessimistic. I try to keep my steps purposeful as I arrive at the team administration entrance. However, just as my hand reaches for the door handle, Toverhear a few voices on the other side of the door.

“I can’t believe Auden’s out because of her,” one voice says.

jury got so bad.”

“Yeah, no kidding. How does she keep getting into so much trouble, anyway? It’s her fault that his injury got

“Yeah. If it wasn’t for her, Aiden would be here right now, and we wouldn’t be losing”

My stomach drops. My breath catches in my throat as a wave of quilt threatens to drown me. They blame me for his injury, I think mumbly.

Familiar feelings of regret have plagued me since the moment Auden got hurt. My first instinct was to apologize to him. I can still remember the white hot guilt I felt as I saw the half-light cast long shadows across Aiden’s pained expression. My heart nighters.

To my surprise, however, my typical feelings of guilt are met by a surge of anger. Who are they to blame me? A voice in my mind challenges me. They don’t know the details of our personal lives. Aiden saved my life. He told me it was something I didn’t need to feel guilty for.

My mind is a storm of conflicting emotions as stand frozen outside of the locker room. I want to freeze. I want to leave the stadium and go back to Aiden’s arms. But I can’t do that. I would be giving in to failure, just like the team is.

Determination overcomes me before I even know what I’m doing. I push open the door to the locker room with more strength than intended. It bangs open, drawing the attention of everyone inside. They stare at me in shock.

Without thinking, I begin to speak. I barely register the expressions of surprise and guilt on the faces of the players. The words tumble out of my mouth in a passionate voice.

1 heard what you said,” I begin, my voice firm but not accusatory “I need you to know that I understand your frustration. have felt immense guilt over Aiden’s injury. I’ve blamed myself time and time again.”

The team looks shocked by how candidly I’m speaking. I push onward.

“But there’s no use to something like that. Blaming me won’t change what happened. We need to focus on what we can control.

I pause for a moment, letting my words sink in. The team stares at me in silence, their expressions complicated. I decide to

continue.

“You can win this game, with or without Aiden. I believe that. Aiden believes that, But that’s not what matters believe it. You need to believe in yourselves, or else there’s no reason to even try.”

-you need to

As 1 speak, I can see a subtle shift in the demeanor of the team. Their shoulders straighten and their expressions harden with determination. I can see that my words are having an effect, so I seize the moment.