Miss CEO Is Pregnant For Her Secretary

Writer’s Narrative

It’s been days since the birth and death of their child. Mandy has been distant with everyone. She stayed on the floor crying all day and night. Zoning out and staring into spaces looking completely distracted and disturbed.

Her mind wandered around the experience she had. She looked at her little girl Riley who she has fed and is now sleeping with a sad smile on her face.

“Your brother should have been here with us,” she said with sadness in her voice, while she squeezed her mouth trying to stop herself from crying.

“I’m so sorry,” she released a breath and shook her head, looking up at the ceiling to stop the tears from falling off.

Everyone has been present for the past few days consoling her and showing kindness with their words and actions.

Her dad was there, he looked at her with fear in her eyes and that was the first time she had seen him so worried about her.

“Do not break?” He told her that day, patting her back and rubbing her head while she wailed on his shoulders like a little girl.

“I can’t trust myself not to,” she responded as she recalled causing her to cry.

~She remembers Maliah being in the room, helping her nurse the child at night and helping with Riley’s feeding. She could recall the sadness and pains in her eyes whenever she stared at Mandy who looked distressed and Lost in her own world.

“Eat, “Maliah would say to her, urging her to have a meal or just a taste of something but Mandy wouldn’t bulge…

“I can’t let you hurt yourself this way. I lost him too, everyone here lost him,” Maliah would tell her with tears in her eyes. She fell on the floor, taking Mandy’s hands and pulling her in a tight hug while they both wailed…

“I barely held him for long. They thought I couldn’t deal with it. I couldn’t hold him Maliah, I lost him way more than you know,” Mandy said and cried immensely…

For Christian’s he had tried severally to talk with her, to speak about the incident but she pushed him away.

“Please let me in,” he would tell her.

But how could she when the board and head of the company keep trooping in and talking about everything that happened and her losing the boy who was supposed to be the next in line after Christian…

“I can’t Christian. I lost my son and all people could talk about is me getting pregnant to give you a male child,” she looked at him angrily…

“Why didn’t you say anything to them?” She asked him now, turning to stare at him with her eyes all swollen and had dark circles around them.

“Say something, you want me to say something to them,” he looked at her confusedThis content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

“This isn’t about them, Mandy. I came here to talk to you,”

“I came here to let you know that I am present in this journey,” he said in a caring tone but Mandy didn’t want to hear that, she didn’t have any emotional support. She wasn’t ready to get back from this or get better. She just wanted to grieve as long as she wanted.

“I don’t need you,” she turned away, facing the window, and sniffing in.

“Gosh, Mandy. You don’t eat, you don’t want to go outside, you lazy around all day crying and you are drifting away from everyone including Riley,” he yelled in the last part…

“Don’t you dare? I lost a child, Christian, I lost my baby,” She turned and pointed at him, tears falling from her eyes.

“Well, I lost my son too. In case you don’t notice, but I am trying to feel safe right now,”

“I was in that room, I was there when it was announced. I saw them take him away, I lost my child too,” his voice broke and he immediately fell on the floor as a tear dropped from his eyes.

She looked at him and sniffed in, unable to say a word of comfort, as she faced the window again.

*Present day*

It was Ryan’s funeral, Christian and Mandy’s dead son. They had a few people gathered on that occasion, mainly family and a few people from the company.

On the outside Mandy looked like she was getting better but no one knew she was faking it all. She gave a tight smile to the guest with Christian whom she wrapped her arms around. She was glad to see Edward and Maliah and hugged them so tightly as they were the ones who visited the most including their moms helping her take care of the baby.

It’s been almost a month for them, but to Mandy, it’s just as fresh as yesterday, and she keeps getting these haunted dreams of Ryan being taken away from her repeatedly.

“I’m going to grab something in the room,” she smiled at Christian and greeted her mom who was taking care of Riley.

She got into the room and held her chest as she had a panic attack. She tried to force her breath into her lungs but it wasn’t working. She didn’t need this right now, she didn’t want it. She fell to the floor in front of her full-length mirror, before she closed her eyes counting the numbers slowly when she began to feel herself slowly adjusting to breathing properly.

“I can’t do this,” she whispered as memories flashed in her mind of the time she spent with her grandfather…

“Grandpa,” little Mandy ran to the study where he sat reading the newspaper.

“Yes munchkin,” he smiled at her and dropped the paper, picking her up and helping her sit on his lap.

“I heard the maid said I had a brother which I killed,” he looked at her as if life was sucked out of him.

“Who said that,” he asked and she gave the name of the maid whom she recalled was fired after their conversation…

“Well she’s wrong,” he responded sweetly

“Do I have a brother?” She asked him naively

“Yes. And he’s in heaven watching over you as you shine bright,” he dragged her cheeks and she laughed brightly.

“Really? Can I meet him?” She added and he chuckled.

“No. Not soon. But he wants you to be happy, so are you happy?” He asked her and she jumped from his body nodding her head happily.

Little her didn’t understand what he meant but when she grew older and recalled that, she sometimes wished her brother was here. Maybe then she wouldn’t have to deal with her Dad issues. Maybe just maybe their family would be a lot happier, but it wasn’t.

“I’m not happy, I’m a failure” She looked at herself and grabbed the pocket knife she had kept with herself for a while hoping it wouldn’t get to this.

“I failed,” she looked at herself through the mirror and brought her wrist, placing the knife there. She wasn’t scared, she stopped crying, she wanted to feel another pain. Hopefully, this stood the pains in her heart.

She was numb, she felt her head spinning, she felt this dark cloud around her and she just desired to feel something else, with the hope it would take away the pains around her chest even for a brief second.

“Maybe for a second I wouldn’t have to feel like a failure, maybe, just maybe I could feel human again, ” she thought to herself and slit her wrist giving herself the first cut as she groaned loudly in pain.

But that wasn’t enough. She wanted it to hurt more, she wanted to feel more. So she turned her head and smirked at the mirror, slitting her wrist for the second time and third time without flinching as blood dropped on the floor slowly staining the white rug.

“Just one more, then it might finally be over,” her inner voice said and she did it again and again, continuously moving her hands upward as she cut herself like she had gone mad.

“Jesus” he screamed and pushed the door rushing in to find her in that state.

“Mandy,” he called and took the knife away from her hands, and dragged her up, staring at her hands, which were dripping with blood.

“You are going to lose a lot of blood,” he rushed and got a towel trying to wrap her hands confused and terrified as he stared at her, wondering why she would do this to herself.

“Why doesn’t it hurt Christian?” She asked him and pointed her hands toward him, leaving him confused…

“Why are you doing this to yourself?” He asked in a sad tone. He was scared, he didn’t know she was going to hurt herself. He thought she was getting better, but how could he have known she was just pretending to do all this while?

“I want to feel something,” she smiled at him, her face almost pale…

“You’re hurting me,” it was his turn to cry as he said those words with a broken heart. Never has he seen this dude of her. She was his tough Mandy, the bossy Mandy. She was so strong that he had never seen her so broken like this…

“The numbness is still there. It’s not working. I still feel hurt here,” she rubbed her chest, as a tear dropped. She looked at Christian with those dead eyes, as her thumb rubbed his cheek, cleaning his tears.

“How do I help you?” He asked in a broken tone, he wanted to be of help. He wanted to be her rock, her therapy but he couldn’t. He didn’t know how, he didn’t know what to say or what to do either. And it just feels like he is slowly losing her.

“You can’t help me,” she smiled at him, but it looked so pale that it had no emotions in it…

“I feel nothing, just numbness,” she whispered like she was slowly losing her mind which scared him.

“Let’s get you to a hospital,” he said and helped in leading the way when she halted suddenly…

“It’s working. I feel it,” she said as her head started to spin and everything around her spun too. Making her lose consciousness, and her body almost fell to the floor but Christian caught her.

“Mandy,” he called out, as he caught her on his chest while her body felt lifeless in his hands, making his eyes bawl.

“No no no,” he said scared, and shook her face, but her eyes were closed and she didn’t budge a bit even with his screams and trying to snap her awake.

“Oh my gosh,” he said terrified, he looked around him and carried her in bridal style as he walked slowly out of the room screaming for help.

“Someone call an ambulance,” tears gathered in his eyes

“I’m not going to lose you,” he said to her lifeless body, yelling…