2-20
INDIE
I’d finally set him off.
Good.
Playing by the rules had gotten us nowhere. I was done with it.
His glowering mask suggested I would pay for my disobedience as he led me into the private bathroom. Once the door shut, he slammed the deadbolt into place. He stood with a wide stance, his voice inflamed with passion.
“You act like the rules don’t apply to you.”
“I know they do. I’m refusing to obey them.”
His mouth curved with a sneer. “You think you can win this battle?”
“I believe it’ll be a cold day in hell before you admit that you wish things were different between us. You want more. That’s what your obsession with control is really about.” My hand grazed his muscled chest and rested over his heart.
He made a face, but recovered quickly. Then he seized my wrist and pinned it behind my back. I felt impaled by his fiery gaze. My stomach clenched as he grabbed me, but I couldn’t deny the spark in my chest. His embrace still wrapped me in warmth, and I relished his punishing grip. A muscle flicked in his jaw. God, he was pissed.
“I have no desire to change.”
What a pathetic lie. He was practically begging someone to heal the wound inside him, or why would he have gone through so much to keep me around?
“You like being this way?”
“I do,” he agreed. “I pride myself on my lack of emotion.”
“I hate to break it to you, Knox, but you do have emotions. You just can’t identify them. You’re emotional right now.”
His grip tightened, and blood rushed where his fingers branded me. “I’m angry. I detest the effect you have on me.”
“So what’s your plan? Beat me until I kneel?”
He shot me a smoldering look. “Something like that.”
His threat hung in the air, darkening the atmosphere.
“Your world won’t fall apart if you let go.”
He straightened, breathing in shallowly. For a moment, it was almost like he’d granted me a reprieve. Then ice slid over the turmoil in his gaze.
“Yes,” he drawled. “I need to stop denying my instincts. For weeks, I’ve been soft on you. I was trying to be merciful. I thought a smooth transition would be best. Clearly, I was wrong.”
Fear jangled in my insides as he grabbed me, but I couldn’t deny the spark in my chest. He pulled me toward him, locking his arm around my waist. His embrace, however violent, still wrapped me in his warmth. I had no desire to leave.
“Knox.” I swallowed the tight knot begging for release. “Don’t do anything crazy.”
“Too fucking late.”
I flinched at his vicious snarl.
Knox rendered me immobile with a yank of my arms. He twisted them behind me, confining me in his powerful fingers.
“Knox, stop!”
“Stop?” he taunted. “You don’t use that word. Not after ignoring what I keep telling you.”
“Talk to me about it,” I pleaded as he undid his belt, the strap sliding from his loops. “You can’t become a savage whenever you don’t get your way!”
“I am a savage. And it’s time you learned that.”
“I’ll scream!”
“Let it out, Indie.” His quiet voice seethed with coldness.
My determination faltered. “W-what the hell are you planning?”
My pulse galloped ahead as the belt traced my curves. He maintained an iron grip on me. The threat of pain lodged a golf ball in my throat, the roaring in my head drowning the panic.
Heat dipped into my belly as he nudged the dress to the middle of my back, which bowed under his weight. He moved my legs apart-
Oh my God.
“Knox.” I turned, catching his feral gaze. “Everyone will hear.”
“Good.” He lightly slapped my cheek. “I want the whole world knowing who owns you.”
“I’ll kill you.”
“Haven’t you had your fill of murder?”
“Don’t bring that up!”
“Don’t tell me what to do.” He squeezed. “You have no idea what your defiance provokes.”
“Get off me!”
“No.”
Knox forced me to bow. He slid closer, wedging me between him and the sink. There was a metallic jingle, followed by the slapping of leather. A thrill stroked my clit as he fisted my dress to my back.
“Wait,” I begged, my heart flipping. “You don’t want to hurt me.”
He smirked. Then he lifted his hand.
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Agony burst over my cheek as I gritted my teeth. The sheer force of the blow knocked a yell out of me. The leather struck me. Pain returned with a fierce bite. I spasmed, gasping. He pulled me back, raining smarting blows over my ass. Shame flushed my collar as I pictured a commotion outside this door. It stung, but the humiliation of Knox spanking me in a public place was worse.
Then he stopped. I clung to the sink, trembling. My pulse thumped erratically as he soothed my flayed skin. “That was just the first round, Indie.”
The mirror reflected his wild expression. He tossed the belt aside, the sound making me flinch.
My guts churned. “You’re not a violent man.”
“Oh? That’s news to me.” His hand gently looped my neck, pulling me off the sink. “I have a lot of rage inside me.”
He pinned my back against his chest, his fingers biting into my throbbing pulse. I watched us through the mirror as he followed my curves with one hand, gentling fondling a globe.
I bit my lip against the delightful shiver of wanting.
“Why?” I gasped, overwhelmed by the sensation. “Why would you be upset? You’re Bryan Knox. You’re the most powerful man in Boston. You get everything you want.”
“All the material possessions in the world can’t help me. Besides, I don’t want to be helped. I never want to forget how this city failed me. That I hold contempt for my common man. I hate the world, Indie. I’m the opposite of you.”
“But what does it come from?”
Knox was silent for a long time, his arms loosely holding me like an embrace. “Too many years of systematic child abuse.”
I swallowed hard, determined to press on. “What does that mean?”
Knox’s mouth worked furiously. Then it poured out of him, his voice detached. “I’ve been starved, Indie. Beaten. Molested. I’ve been taken advantage of since before I could walk. My earliest memory is of being tortured with hot wax.”
“By who?”
His fingers tightened on my body. “My mother and her boyfriend.”
Pinned against his body, I felt my eyes fill with tears.
“Why would they do that?”
“You don’t want to know.” Knox let out a slow breath as his palm skated my belly, tracing the underside of my breast. “By ten, I was as jaded as a war veteran.”
“My God.”
He stroked my body up and down, a self-soothing gesture. There was nothing erotic about his touch. Even his voice was soft.
“How did you deal with it?”
“I felt nothing. I was too detached to bruise my knuckles on other people’s flesh, but dragging a knife across my stomach…that felt good.”
I flinched. Lord…the mental anguish he must’ve been in to inflict that on himself.
“What about CPS?” I gulped down my sorrow, forcing my voice to stay even. “Didn’t they see your injuries?”
“They did,” he said, his face hardening. “The state placed me with a family that seemed wholesome on paper, but they weren’t much better than the situation I’d just left.”
He’d stopped stroking me. His gaze was hollowed out, empty, striking a close resemblance to the girls I’d interviewed from Sanctum.
“What did they do to you?”
“Everything. It took a long time to break free.”
“I’m sorry, Knox. I really am.”
He whirled me around, still holding my neck. “I don’t like being touched. It takes me back to when I was helpless. You don’t understand what it does to me when you take control. The wrath you provoke.”
Tears splattered my cheeks. “I didn’t know. Knox, I’m so sorry.”
He nodded, his eyes still haunted with the ghost of his past. His mouth parted and his brows relaxed. Then his gaze centered on me. His expression blanked. His brows drew together as tears skated down my chin. His lips pulled with a cruel twist. Just like that, his vulnerability was gone.
“How sorry are you?”
My breathing hitched, intimidated by how quickly his mood had flip-flopped. I wiped my eyes, my mind teeming with disturbing images. “I’m sorry they made you feel powerless. You should’ve been loved-”
He pinched my face, cutting off my words. “I’m not interested in your pity.”
“F-forgive me.”
Knox answered with a brush of his fingers on my inner thigh, the touch lighting me on fire. Nothing he said changed my feelings about him. At least I knew the “why” behind his demeanor. He’d developed this ice shield to protect himself.
“Get on your knees while I think about it.”
Knox wasn’t the type who cuddled after such a brutal confession. He needed to reclaim control. The restless gleam in his eye suggested what he’d do to me.
I knelt on the hard floor, my stomach knotted.
“Remove your dress.”
I fingered my throat, the burn from my cheeks spreading to my toes. Under his glare, I stripped, slipping off my panties and dress. Knox held out palm, and I handed him my thong.
He pocketed my panties, his expression lighting up with a savage, very male satisfaction. His leather shoe nudged my thigh.
“Spread them.”
I glanced down my taut abdomen to Knox’s shoe. Slowly, I inched my legs apart. I trembled with the humiliating display of my sex until I noticed his erection straining his slacks. When he gently fondled his cock, it was all I could do to keep myself from launching at him. Knox tapped me until I’d widened my thighs to his preference. Then his fingers brushed my shoulder.
A sensual thrill passed between us. My cheeks blistered as the swell of warmth curled inward. I was embarrassed, yet turned on. Hot everywhere. My legs were splayed, my nipples stiffened into aching points, and my thighs gleamed with arousal.
Knox made a sound of deep frustration as he stroked himself. He was so hard it looked painful. My mouth watered as I watched him pleasure himself.
“Indie, play with yourself. Make yourself ready for me.” Knox stopped touching himself. “Fingers in your pussy. Now.”
My stomach bottomed out.
“Do it, or I’ll parade you outside in the nude.”
Alarm rippled down my spine. “Why?”
His vengeful gaze stabbed into me. “I want you to get off for me.”
My heart hammered. “Again, why?”
“Knowing how wet I make you gets me really hard. That’s a first for me.”
“That must be daunting for you.”
“Stop stalling and touch yourself.”
Blushing furiously, I slid my finger along my inner lips. I slipped into the wet warmth with the smallest moan.
His ferocious glare widened.
“C-can I stop?” I whispered, transported on a soft cloud. “Please let me stop.”
“No.”
His eyes gleamed as I kneaded my clit, slipping in the river of my arousal. I teased myself, sinking and withdrawing, massaging. Desperate sounds burst from my throat.
His hand drifted to his crotch. Riveted, I watched him unbutton his pants with a rough snap. My mouth burned as he seized the zipper and slid it down.
The world seemed to tilt.
My pussy clenched over my thrusting fingers. A feverish wave began between my legs, claiming me. The raw energy lifted me to blissful clouds. I soared.
Then my orgasm burst. Ecstasy flooded my being as I fucked myself. A tremor heated my thighs as a gust of pleasure swept me away.
Knox smirked and grabbed my hand. He made me stroke his erection. Then he pulled off his briefs, revealing his aching cock. He wrapped my hand around the base.
“Jerk me off.”
I tightened my grip, moving up and down his length. I ached with the desire to be touched, a lustful seed that grew as his cock thickened. It was intoxicating.
“Indie,” he sighed. “You feel so good.”
“So do you.”
I turned toward his welcoming warmth.
Knox’s sleepy smile betrayed every word that condemned him. One glance at him and my heart lurched. Even my name on his lips tingled my nipples. My thoughts scattered in a hundred different directions.
I needed to resist.
Not with my body-with my mind.
Knox didn’t make it easy with his hands buried in my hair. He arched and let out a delicious groan. Liquid heat jetted from his cock. Hot threads of cum draped my breasts. I quivered with the pleasant sensation. I couldn’t speak. I did nothing but savor his undoing.
Breathing heavily, he hitched up his trousers and took out his cell. The white circle blinked as he snapped photos. He grinned at the screen and put the phone away. Then he yanked on the paper towel dispenser and motioned me upright.
I stood shakily.
Knox wiped me clean. His eyes crashed into mine, no longer pools of espresso brown. They smoldered with a wild possessiveness. It was as though a storm cloud had gathered over his head. He rearranged his jacket and handed me my dress, watching as I put it on. Then he grabbed my purse from where it had fallen and handed it over. Then he opened the door for me.
We finished our meal quickly and Knox paid the bill. As we left the restaurant, my palm met his in a warm clasp. When we reached outside, Knox released me, plunging his hand into his pocket. His horrifying confession consumed me. The details he’d divulged leadened my heart.
How could anyone do that to a child? And why?
You don’t want to know, Indie.
Cold invaded my chest. The chill spread to my limbs as I stopped, fitting the pieces together. He’d been through things few people could grasp, let alone live through. When every adult in your life failed you, how could you ever learn to trust?
Or love?
He moved ahead of me, and I blinked with unshed tears as I gazed at his retreating back. He refused to deal with his pain, and I would forever be a victim of that. What did I have to look forward to? More stilted dinners. Emotionless sex. Zero affection.
A few paces ahead, Knox glanced over his shoulder, then turned. “Indie.”
I didn’t move.
He released a frustrated sigh and drifted toward me. He checked his watch, scowling. “I don’t have time for games.”
“I’m not going home with you.”
“What are you talking about?”
I was too overwhelmed to put my feelings into a sentence. “I can’t stand this.”
That provoked a slight reaction in him. His brows furrowed slightly, which annoyed me. Even when I threatened to leave, he couldn’t be bothered.
“What?”
“This relationship. I can’t do this, Knox.”
He grabbed my neck, the light restraint sending a jolt down my chest. His raking gaze settled on my mouth. “You made a deal.”
“Give me a reason to stay.”
“I don’t have to. You belong to me.”
“That’s the problem.” I played with my coat buttons as his ferocious stare heated me from the inside out. “I’m just flesh to you…I’m a broodmare for your future children. You don’t think of me as a person, and it shows. You’re distant. You can’t even hold my hand.”
“You know why I can’t.”
My heart broke for him.
He flinched as I lifted a tremulous hand to his face. My fingertips grazed his cheek before I cupped it with my palm. I grimaced as I touched his freezing skin. It was like holding an ice cube under hot water. I stroked his brow ridge, trying to soften him.
His breathing gradually slowed as I caressed him. His forbidding glare warned me to stop, but he didn’t move.
“What are you doing?”
“You’re upset. I want to help.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed. “Do you know what happens to people who make me feel vulnerable?”
“Threaten me all you like, Knox. You didn’t go through all this trouble to dump me on the streets.”
“You think you can change me. Don’t you?” His nostrils flared and whitened. “You’re manipulating me.”
“No, Knox. I don’t have the power to do that. Only you can decide to be kinder. I’m just a positive influence in your life.”
He sneered. “Trying to rein in the tyrant?”
“I’m not like everyone else, Knox. I won’t sit back and shut up while you wreak havoc on the city.”
“So you want to see me destroyed?”
“No. I want you to heal.”
His beautiful face shone with pain that dove into my heart. Gently, he intertwined his fingers with mine, and for a moment, he seemed to revel in the intimacy. Then he pulled me off him, his features clouded.
“And what if I can’t?”
“At least we’ll know we tried.”
Knox’s eyes gleamed with caution as he leaned forward. He kept a brutal grip on my hair as his head angled. Then his mouth fell on mine. His lips were lingering and light. Tender. So gentle.
His hand lifted to my cheek, cradling me, and the touch sparked a fierce ache. It was like he was lost in the taste of me. My shattered soul started to mend, Knox’s lips imbibing me with peace. It felt so good-so right. I couldn’t reconcile the tyrant with the loving way he held me. It was unbearable.
My mind reeled.
I palmed his chest, desperate for more of him.
Knox ground his body into me as though needing me. His kisses harshened. His tongue fucked my mouth. Dominating me. He thrust it in and out with a passion I longed to feel between my legs, and a need inside me burned for more.
I dug into his shoulders before realizing that I’d grabbed him. I crushed my lips into his. My tongue danced in his heat. He was seductive and smooth. A dangerous combination-like dark chocolate and red wine. Impossible not to indulge. It flooded my brain with all the wrong things. It was a violent kiss, filled with threatening promises of what he’d do to my body. I seized his hair and moaned.
I waded into a pool of ecstasy.
I relished the feel of him, his masculinity, the burn consuming me. The instinct to surrender. Kissing him made me breathless and confused, like an eighteen-year-old girl.
I’d experienced nothing like it before.
Knox pushed me until I hit a wall. He seized my wrists and held them as his tongue traced the fullness of my lips. He nipped his way to my collarbone, playing devil’s advocate with my hair, face, and neck. He tasted me with a savage intensity, sucking me into his mouth. He marked me with raised, pink patches.
I groaned.
Knox ripped to the side, breaking from our kiss. He dragged me from him, his grip firm on my hair. He looked delicious, his lips raw from kissing me, his hair mussed where I’d grabbed it. My core twinged with a mad desire to free his cock and swirl my tongue over his velvety head. His breath fanned my cheek. His shock seemed to mirror the wild fluttering in my heart, a rare glimpse of Knox out of control.
“Are you okay?”
He swallowed hard. “That was…”
Unbelievably hot.
The buzz from his kiss throttled my veins like vodka. I needed more. The taste of him had unlocked the gates. Greed enveloped me. My fingers curled into his chest. My palms flattened over the pane of muscle. I slid upward, stroking his shoulder. Just as I leaned in for more, his face broadened with a smile, its beauty wiping my thoughts blank.
“Is this all you wanted from me?”
I nodded, breathless.
Knox didn’t smirk, but his eyes gleamed like sapphires in the light. He held my gaze so intensely that I couldn’t look away.
Behind him, a car rolled to the curb. Men in black with blood-red ties stepped out.
Fear knotted in my throat.
“Mr. Knox,” barked one of them. “We need you to come with us.”
Knox peeled off my body and faced them.
The front passenger door of the Audi opened, and a tall man who’d haunted my nightmares emerged. Cainan, the sadist from Sanctum, looked quite different in the twilight. His wool pants and linen shirt gave him the appearance of a prince out on a walk. He strolled with a nonchalant grace, smiling.
“Good to see you, Indie. It’s been a while.”
Cainan spoke as though he hadn’t forced me to my knees and made me touch his cock. Knox’s grip cinched my waist, but he seemed unconcerned. Bored, even.
“What do you want?”
“Your presence is needed at Sanctum.”
Knox moved his hand from me, shoving both in his pockets. “I can’t imagine why.”
“Our higher members have information they’d like to share.” Cainan’s attention landed on me, and his voice darkened. “Concerning you and Indie.”
My limbs trembled.
“You couldn’t have sent a text?” Knox’s indifferent glare flickered from me to Cainan. “I don’t know what this is about, but I’m not interested.”
“That is irrelevant.”
Knox took my arm and headed down the sidewalk, but Cainan’s goons closed off our path. He turned to face Cainan. “Call my assistant and book an appointment.”
“I’m sorry, friend, but you’ll have to come with us.”
“Fuck off.”
Cainan tutted, motioning to his guards.
I swallowed hard. This is all my fault.
Knox set his jaw into a firm line as they surrounded us.
“Get in the car, Knox.”
“Again, fuck you.”
“It’d be wise not to antagonize me, considering I went through a great deal of trouble on your behalf.”
I could practically feel Knox’s blood pressure rising. His grip tightened on my bicep.
“My security is on their way. They’ll follow me wherever you take us.” Knox’s indignant tone blackened with rage when they refused to budge. “Who do you think you are?”
“Knox, you’re getting in this car.” Cainan motioned to the man beside him, who produced a long, thin box. “Don’t make this difficult on yourself.”
Jesus Christ.
My heart pounded, but Knox smoldered.
“You know who I’m connected to.”
“Are you referring to Tony?” Cainan opened the lid and removed a pre-filled syringe. “I wouldn’t rely on him. He’s not the unhinged killer he used to be. Pity.”
A muscle ticked in Knox’s jaw. “I don’t need the Costas to bury you.”
Laughter danced in Cainan’s slate eyes as he nodded to his guards.
A man with bulging biceps pounced on Knox.
Knox seized his neck, locking him into a chokehold. He slammed him headfirst into the car window. Glass shattered as he ground the man’s cheek into the broken shards. Another man leapt to his defense. A loud crack filled the air as Knox elbowed his nose. Then his leg shot out, slamming into his third assailant. The man dropped like a rock. Knox fought like an MMA fighter, turning on a dime to side-kick. He fluidly dispatched his attackers, but it didn’t last once they piled on him. They forced him to the sidewalk.
Knox grimaced as they wrenched his arms behind him. Cainan planted his boot on Knox’s upper back and rolled up his sleeve.
I lunged at Cainan, who still grappled to still the wildly struggling Knox. I seized the arm holding the syringe and sank my teeth into his forearm.
Cainan backhanded me lazily, the blow stunning me.
“Somebody grab her.”
My arms were restrained, and then Cainan stabbed Knox with the syringe and shoved down the plunger.
Knox’s face went purple with rage. He screamed with fury. As they peeled him off the ground, Knox swung at one of them. His fist connected with a bloodied guard.
I screamed. “Knox, stop!”
Cainan watched with a twist of his devious mouth. He held open the door as they hauled, jostled, and pulled Knox into the backseat. I ducked in beside him, teary-eyed. The sight of Knox sprawled on the leather seats choked my throat. I propped his head on my lap as his eyes slid in and out of focus.
“I’m so sorry.”