Married to the mafia boss Series

I scream into pitch darkness.

A nightmare. No, a memory, wakes me out of a deep sleep.

My door flies open and the light from the hallway floods my room. A dark silhouette fills the threshold and I don’t know who it is until the voice asks, “Are you okay?”

Carmelo.

I shake my head still rattled and still trying to catch my breath. Carmelo shuts the door and walks over to me sitting on the edge of the bed. He rubs my back. “It’s okay. Just a bad dream.”

“Are you sure he’s dead? Is he really dead?”

“I’m positive,” he says with unfathomable certainly.

“Please don’t go,” I beg and grab hold of his white T-shirt.

“Arabella,” he sighs, “Rocco will be coming home any minute and when he does and he sees us in bed together… Antonio will have my ass.”

“Please. Please! I don’t want to be alone.”

“Fine,” he crawls into bed and I wrap my arms around him.

“Tell me a story,” I whisper into the silent, dark room.

“What do you want to hear about?”

“You. Tell me how you started to play the violin.”

“It was my mother. She was always my rock. My support system. My father was an alcoholic. He worked for Lorenzo and kept busy with his job and when he came home he was always drunk and would hit my mother. She always tried to protect us until my brother and I were old enough and decided to take the beatings for her. She was so frail,” he shakes his head. “She was the tiniest woman I’ve ever known.”

“Smaller than Liliana?” I ask.

“Smaller than Liliana. She would end up in the hospital many times after his drunken stupor. When I was eleven I had to take the car and drive her to the ER because she dislocated her shoulder. My mother was strong, she never let it show. I knew when my father got home he was going to abuse her and she rush my brother and I into our rooms and turn on Paganini. You could barely hear her screams over the sound of the violin.

“She loved Paganini. One day she got into this depressive funk. I know she wanted to leave him but she couldn’t, she couldn’t leave us with him but if she took us with her-he would find her for taking his boys. My brother and I didn’t know how to get her out and so the money had saved up I went to the local music store and bought a cheap violin. I read books on how to play, learned how to read sheet music and worked hard to learn one of Paganini’s songs. It took a lot of time and effort and when I finally mastered it, I played it for her.

“That was the first time in months I saw my mother smile. She begged me to play it again and again and again. I would play to her every day and I even started to learn new songs to play for her. I wanted to make sure she was happy and even though she was happy when I played, she still wasn’t entirely happy. I tried everything I could to make her smile. It became an obsession of mine. I would brainstorm new ideas on how to keep her happy but every day she would lay in bed, sometimes catatonic. My father had broken her.”

“What happened to her?” I rub my hands along his chest and over his heart.

“She wasted away. I went to check on her and she was dead in the bathroom, she cut her wrists open. I found notebooks years later that had letters addressed to me and my brother. She wrote telling us how she wanted to leave my father but never wanted to leave without us. She wrote to say her only way out, the only way to be free of our father and still have us with her, was if she died. She said she loved us both more than anything and hoped we would forgive her.”

“And do you?”

“What?”

“Forgive her?”

“Yeah. The life she lived wasn’t a happy life. I loved my mother more than anything. I didn’t think my father was strong or powerful for doing what he did to her. I found him weak and pathetic and I never want to be the man he was. That’s why…” his voice trails.

“That’s why what?” I lift my head off his shoulder to face him in the dark.

“That’s why I was upset when you married Luca. Why I was so out of my mind angry when I saw the cuts on your wrists. Men who treat woman like they own them disgust me and as your bodyguard I care about your safety. I care because… because I don’t want another woman to go through what my mother did.”

“You do realize a lot of women in this life are treated bad by their husbands or even father’s.”

Carmelo is silent for a moment. “I don’t have the power to change the way us Men of Honor think. A lot of us still believe in traditional gender roles and the old ways. I have power over what happens to you. I am sworn to protect you and while I have that power, I will make sure no man ever lays a finger on you.”

I hold him until both of us are fast asleep.

It is hard to fall asleep after Carmelo admitting the story of how his mother was abused. Carmelo doesn’t look like a man who would respect women to the extent he does. He’s tall with a bulk of muscles. His face is as cold as a killers with a small scar at the end of his eyebrow. His handsome features would make you automatically think of him as a womanizer or a man who would only use you for a one-night stand. As far as the mafia goes, his job is he’s a soldier as well as an enforcer. He’s a trained killer. He kills for the mafia and kills anyone Antonio tells him to without question.

Carmelo was shaped by his mother’s influence. He was born into cruelty and promised to never make the same mistakes his father made. He is an honorable man. One who has always cared for my being, cared enough to want to stop any harm being done to me.

Carmelo first and foremost is a friend. I’ve known him for a long time and we’ve always been there. Ever since Vinny died and I lived at Antonio’s he was always there to keep me company and make me laugh. That’s why it was always an easy decision to decide to be friends with benefits. Anyone I date has to be in the mafia and father and Antonio approved. I’m not looking for dating, I want to fuck but to do that, it has to be in secrecy. That’s why doing it with Carmelo was the best option. He had to always keep his eye on me and Liliana, and he doesn’t get much action himself with the twenty-four-seven schedule he works.

We agreed on becoming friends with benefits and thank god because he scratches that itch so well. It’s not awkward afterward either. I feel free in front of him. We’re able to sit naked and talk and fuck when we’re horny. We don’t let feelings get in the way of our friendship or his job. I know he’ll always protect me and now knowing about his mother, I feel more safe than I ever have in my life.

Until I’m shipped off to Italy.

“What are you thinking about?” Carmelo murmurs.

“How did you know I was awake?”

“Your breathing,” he states.This is from NôvelDrama.Org.

“I’m going to Italy and I don’t know if I’ll ever come back.”

“And that worries you?” He asks and I nod. “What about that worried you?”

“I’ll never see you or my cousins or Viola again.”

“You can still come visit I’m sure and you can always call.”

“I’m afraid I won’t be safe.”

“What about your brother?”

“He’ll protect me but…”

But not as well as you would.

“But what?”

“He’s old fashioned. He’ll keep me relatively safe, but…”

It’s been awhile since I’ve seen Laz, but he’s always been the typical mafia man who thinks women are only born to serve. No doubt if a man took his hand to me and I told Laz he would shrug it off.

“If you’re ever in danger you know you can call me, right?” He wraps both his arms around my shoulders and holds me against his chest.

“I know,” I whisper. The sun is starting rise and fills the room with light. I look over at the bedside clock that reads five-forty-three. “You should probably head back into your own room before Rocco wakes up in a few and kills you,” I peel my body away from his.

He groans but gets up anyways and stretches out his long body. “I’ll see you at breakfast,” he nods before exiting my room quietly.

When my alarm officially goes off at seven I dress for the day in something casual. Leggings and a pink, oversized, cable knit sweater. I tie my hair back into a ponytail and don’t bother applying makeup. Normally I love going out and I had always bothered Liliana to do things with me, but ever since recent events I haven’t had the stomach to be social.

I head downstairs and into the kitchen to make myself a pot of coffee. I’m pleasantly surprised to see Carmelo is already up sipping his own mug.

“The pot is still hot,” he comments.

I shoot him a polite smile and open the cupboard to grab myself a large mug. I have a feeling I’ll need the energy boost today. I don’t feel like myself. I don’t feel bubbly and although any normal person would be excited for a trip to Italy-I’m dreading it. I don’t like the unknown and right now the future I previously had planned for myself no longer exists. I dreamed of living out the rest of my life with Vinny, it was what I had looked forward to. I looked forward to growing old with him. He was, after all, my best friend.

“Carmelo,” Rocco enters the kitchen, “Good you’re still here.” Carmelo and I raise our eyebrows at that. “Antonio wants to see you for reassignment.”

“Reassignment?” I gulp.

“Your parents still don’t trust Carmelo being your bodyguard after what happened.”

“Well I’m not having some stranger be my bodyguard!” I stand from the table.

“Calm down,” he says bringing his hands up and then lowers them. “I’ll be your temporary bodyguard until you leave for Italy.”

I frown. That means I won’t be able to spend time with Carmelo before I leave. Who knows what kind of assignment he’ll go on? Maybe Antonio will punish him by having him leave the Outfit and be a soldier somewhere else like New York or Las Vegas or even Boston.

“Does he want to see me now?” Carmelo asks with an impassive expression while he sets his cup of coffee on the counter.

“There’s no reason for you to stay right now,” Rocco shrugs, “I’m watching her now and I’m here.”

Carmelo nods and then gives me a lingering look. A silent goodbye. He walks out of the kitchen, to the foyer, into the elevator and out of my life.

“So,” Rocco takes pours himself coffee and takes a seat at the table. “What would you like to do today?”

“What kind of reassignment is Carmelo getting?”

Rocco waves his hand and shakes his head. “You don’t want to hear about business. Are you getting ready for Italy? Do you have anything packed yet?”

“No. I don’t even have enough suitcases to put all my stuff in.”

“We can go shopping then.”

“Don’t you have better things to do than babysit me?”

He shrugs. “It won’t be for long. I’m thinking of it like spending time with my baby cousin before she leaves.”

I’ve always been close with my cousins. Antonio and Rocco were always over when we were little. The only unfortunate thing for me was I was the youngest, as well as a girl. Antonio and Rocco took much more of a liking to Lazzaro and Nico. Tony and Laz were good friends because they were basically the same age. Nico and Rocco stuck together like peas in a pod. What I liked most about them was they were less serious, and majority of the time they invited me to play with them.

Family has always meant everything to me. Even when I stayed here and all my siblings moved away, Rocco and Antonio acted like my brothers. While I’m excited to see Laz, I’m going to miss Chicago more than anything.

“I want to go see my goddaughter,” I reply with certainty.

Rocco nods his head. “Then we will go see Liliana. I’m sure she’s lonely. Antonio has been working late trying to catch Marco’s loyalists.”

I down the rest of my coffee knowing I’ll need the rest of it to keep up with Viola. Last time I saw her she was crawling all over the place. She’s getting so big and I almost get teary eyed just thinking of how I won’t get to spend her first birthday with her or watch her grow into a toddler, then a kid, a teenager… a woman.

Not being able to have kids myself means I get to enjoy my nieces and nephews and while I get to meet my brother’s son for the first time, it isn’t the same. Viola is my goddaughter. I was there when she was born. I held her and made a promise that I would be there to help her through every little problem life throws at her. Now I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep my promise.

My cell phone rings as I head upstairs to grab a few things before heading to Liliana’s place. I groan when I see the caller ID says Mama. I have the worst feeling she is going to lecture me on why I didn’t tell her about Leonardo.

“Hello,” I answer.

“Bella, darling. Are you alright? Your father told me everything about what happened yesterday. We were so worried when you went missing. We never knew about Leonardo and if we did, we would’ve stopped it! We wouldn’t have tolerated him anywhere near you!”

“Mama, it’s okay. I really don’t want to talk about it.”

“My poor baby. When can I see you? I want to take you out and have a girls day. My last baby is leaving Chicago. Who else am I going to dote on?”

“I don’t know. Go to Las Vegas to visit Christina and your grandchildren. I’m sure they would love to see you.”

“Oh, I couldn’t leave your father.” Excuses.

“Papa doesn’t need you here. Why don’t you go visit Christina? You’ve only seen the children a couple times.”

“Christina doesn’t want me in Las Vegas. She’s a very busy woman.”

I never understand why my mother turned her back on Christina. My mother has always prided herself on Laz, talking about how successful he is, how pretty his wife is, how great her grandson is. Nico was the same way, she talked about him very fondly-definitely more than she talks about Christina. Although I’m the disappointment in the family, she is always in my business and wondering what I’m up to.

Something happened with Christina, that much I’m sure of, but what I have no idea.

“Get yourself a dog to keep you company then.”

“Bella, I’m just going to miss my baby! A-and I feel like a terrible mother! I should’ve known what was going on with you. You know you are very attractive like me and, ever since Vinny and Luca, I think men want to take advantage of you because you’re no longer a virgin.”

“Ma! That has nothing to do with anything!”

“Doesn’t it? The men see the virgins as a prized possession something they wait to take on their wedding day. Nobody has to wait to take with you. That’s why Carmelo took advantage of you!”

“Carmelo is a friend! He didn’t take advantage of me.”

“Well I had your father talk to Antonio about Carmelo. I don’t want him anywhere near you,” she says with a snarky tone.

“You got him reassigned?! Mama, I loved having him as a bodyguard-”

“I’m sure you do, girls have needs too, but they should never act on them! Especially single girls. Arabella, what were you thinking? He’s a low-rank soldier. You need a man of high rank! He surely took advantage of your position. He probably wanted something in return like moving up in station,” she makes a disgusted grunt. “I’m glad he is nowhere near you now.”

“I can’t believe you!” I shout. “He was a friend and I only have so long here and now I can’t spend it with him.”

“I’m glad he’s finally away from you! You’re acting brainwashed. Do not forget your position. You are making a fool out of your father and I by sleeping with your bodyguard.”

I roll my eyes. “I can’t have this conversation right now. I have better things to do today. I’ll talk to you later,” I hang up before she can protest or further insult me.

I grab my purse and jacket and head downstairs where Rocco has been waiting. “Ready?” He asks me.

“You do know that Carmelo never took advantage of me, right?”

Rocco sighs and slumps his shoulders. “Your mother was complaining and to humor her, Uncle Francesco asked Antonio to reassign Carmelo. Hell, we’ve known Carmelo since we were boys and we know he’d never force you. You said it was consensual and we believe you. Fucking isn’t a crime and no one is protecting your virtue so, that’s the only reason Carmelo isn’t dead right now.”

There it is again. As if I matter less just because I’m not a virgin anymore.

“This is ridiculous,” I mutter under my breath and silk to the elevator. “Carmelo is a friend.”

“Yes, he is. It’s not a big deal, Arabella. He’s not in trouble, he just has a new job. What does it matter anyways? You’re leaving for Italy.”

“You’re right. It doesn’t matter.”