Married to the mafia boss Series

Liliana

I want to throw up, the nauseating feeling in the pit of my stomach hasn’t subsided. The penthouse feels lonely and it’s horrible to think how much I hate the silence, because the only reason it was never silent at home or at night was because of my father and the despicable things he would do to my mother behind closed doors.

Angelo is down the hall and next to my room Carmelo has settled in. He hasn’t said much to me, he’s a dark brooding mass. I can’t help but feel safe, Angelo on the other hand doesn’t. He seems more worried than usual, he’s also wary of Carmelo. Angelo will report to Antonio tomorrow and start his official first day as one of the soldiers of the Outfit. I say a quick prayer for the safety of my brother before dozing off to sleep.

“Liliana,” a voice startles me awake.

The sun is shining through the windows-I must’ve slept through the night.

“You have a visitor,” Angelo says.

“Who?” Who could possibly be visiting me? “Please don’t tell me it’s Antonio.”

“It’s a woman.” Angelo says before leaving my room allowing me to quickly get dressed.

I put on a pair of blue jeans and a simple black and white striped long-sleeve, thermal shirt. I slip into a pair of my flats, toss my blonde hair into a messy bun and rush downstairs. The woman looks familiar, she has hazel eyes, and dark hair. She’s young maybe early twenties, she’s also tall and stunning. Her outfit tells me she’s rich and obviously a part of the lifestyle. She’s not a stranger… who is she.

“I’m Arabella.”

“Oh. That’s right, Antonio told me you’d be coming. Wedding dress shopping, right?” My brain feels like it’s in a scrambler.

“Are you ready? Or I could come back another time,” she points over her shoulder.

“No. No just let me grab a granola bar and we can head out.” I stuff the granola bar in my purse and walk out the door, that’s when I notice Carmelo is following behind us.

Sensing how annoyed I am, Arabella asks, “Did you not have a bodyguard back in New York?”

“I did, he took me to school and waited there until I was done.”

“That’s all?”

“My father wouldn’t let me leave the house for anything but school. So yeah, that’s all,” I sigh.

“I’m sorry, that sounds horrible. I guess you must love this newfound freedom,” she smiles trying to lighten the mood.

“Freedom? You call an arranged marriage newfound freedom?”

Arabella blinks at me. “Oh, uh, I’m sorry. I didn’t think you were so sensitive to this arrangement.”

“Why wouldn’t I be!? I’m marrying a man I don’t even know. What’s worse is he is the Capo!”

“What’s worse? Isn’t that a good thing? He can protect you better than anyone, he’ll give you a lavish life.”

“I’ll be in danger all my life and I don’t care about protecting and lavishness, I want to have a husband who will love me!”

Her eyes brows raise in shock. “People like us do not marry for love,” I suddenly notice the wedding ring on her finger. “Daughters marry to give their father’s advantage in this life. For some it’s power, their daughters ranking up boosts them up in this world. I could be worse, Liliana.”

“All I wanted was to go to college.”

“I’m sure Antonio will let you attend colleges online.”

“And do what with the degree? He won’t let me work. Just like how my father made my mother be a stay at home wife.”

“Is that so terrible?” Her voice turns low and soft.

“Yes! I want a life of my own! Don’t you?”

“Well… I guess I don’t know,” she starts to cry.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s just, my husband is dead. He died trying to protect Uncle Lorenzo. It was an arranged marriage, but I grew to respect him. Even if we weren’t in love, we still liked each other. He was a friend. Now I’m widowed without any children and Antonio is probably going to marry me off to the highest bidder. I got lucky with my husband, he was my age. Some aren’t as lucky as us. My sister got stuck with a man three times her age. A pig he is,” she spits disgusted.

“I didn’t mean to-”

“I know you didn’t, let’s please forget I said anything,” we reach the car and climb in. Carmelo sits up front and will occasionally look out the side of his eyes to glance at us.

“The boutique we’re going to is run by the Famiglia. Beautiful handcrafted dresses imported from Italy,” Arabella claps her hands together and seems to be in her own daydream.

“How much are these dresses?”

Arabella reaches into her purse and pulls out a gray credit card. “Tony gave me his card, it’s limitless. He told me nothing is too expensive.”

Tony?

“No. I can pay for my own dress. I don’t need one that is a thousand plus dollars,” I shake my head stubbornly.

“He’s paying for it, end of conversation. Do you want me to get in trouble? He wants to pay for your dress and he wants it from this shop.” She points out the window to a tiny shop with beautiful white dresses in the window. The car slowly pulls over and Carmelo gets out to open my side of the door while the driver opens Arabella’s.

“Like it?” Arabella catches me drooling over the one in the window.

“It’s beautiful.”

The dress has lace sleeves-perfect for a November wedding. There is a sweetheart neckline, that looks like silk mixed with lace design, pearls at the waist, and then it puffs at the hips and I couldn’t see how long the back went, but I know the train is long. Everything about it makes my heart skip a beat.

“Let’s go try it on,” she grabs onto my elbow and pulls me in the store. “Maria, darling!” Arabella calls out and an older woman rushes to greet her with two kisses on the cheek.

“Bella, I am so sorry to hear about Vinny,” Maria has a thick Italian accent.

“Thank you, Maria. We are here for my lovely soon to be cousin. She is infatuated by the dress in the window.”

“Well get her to the fitting room, I’ll grab the dress!” Maria claps her hands together, puts her glasses on and goes for a hunt for my dream dress.

The dress she brought me was too big and long, but it was just to try on and see. She pinned the back with clips-although there was nothing I could do about the length except hold it up with my hands. Before I am able to look at myself in the mirror Arabella lets my hair loose and puts a tiara and veil on my head.

A tear escapes me as I gaze at myself in the mirror. The perfect dress is encompassing my body like a perfect second skin. I never loved any material thing more than this dress. I feel like a princess-the Capo’s wife.

“Beautiful, you look stunning!” Arabella grabs my hands and squeezes.

“I love it,” I say to Maria but continue to stare at myself in the mirror unable to look away.

“He is going to love it.”

“What a breathtaking image you are,” Maria smiles. “I will take your measurements and have it ready the day before your wedding.”

“Tony will have one of his men pick it up,” Arabella says to Maria.

Taking off the dress itself feels sad. Back in my regular clothes, Arabella and I met Maria at the counter.

I looked down at the register that rings up the dress for-Published by Nôv'elD/rama.Org.

“Fifty thousand dollars?! What no way, that’s too much money!” I argue.

“Liliana, you are in love with the dress and Antonio will be fawning over you. The second he sees you he’ll want to rip that dress off you and-”

Panic rushes into my system. “No, I don’t want it anymore. I’ll take the ugliest and cheapest thing you have,” I sob.

“No, no Liliana. You deserve to be a beautiful bride. Fifty-thousand is nothing to Tony. Please, let him get this for you.”

I watch Arabella hand Maria the gray credit card and I am unable to watch that much money being spent so, I step outside for some fresh air.

“You okay?” Carmelo says sitting next to me on the ground.

“How long have you known Antonio?”

“Nearly all of my life.”

“He isn’t capable of love, is he?” I wipe my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt.

Carmelo sighs. “He’s Capo.”

That’s all the answer I need.

“I’m scared,” I draw my knees up to my chest and bury my head.

“I won’t let anything bad happen to you. I swore an oath to protect you.”

“But you can’t protect me from my soon to be husband.”

He looks taken back. “You don’t need protecting from Antonio.”

“Arabella said that when he sees me in that wedding dress, he won’t be able to wait to tear it off me.”

Carmelo chuckles, “I’m sure he’ll be anxious, but he’ll wait. He knows how to control himself.”

“You don’t get it, I don’t want to.”

“Don’t want to…”

I give him a pointed look.

“Oh. Uh,” he scratches the back of his neck uncomfortably. “It’s tradition. It’s a husband’s right to his wife’s body on their wedding night.”

I’m doomed.

***

Arabella didn’t want to leave, she could see me sulking the entire ride home. I just want to be alone, but she insists on staying.

Sitting on the couch next me back at my family’s Chicago penthouse, she asks me questions.

“Hello?” She waves a hand in front of my face.

“Sorry, I got distracted.”

“You’re not still thinking about your wedding night, are you?”

“I can’t help it.”

“It’s not that bad, trust me. Just lay down, let him crawl on top of you, he’ll do his thing-you won’t have to do anything. It’ll hurt just a little bit, but he’ll probably be done quick.”

“That sounds horrible,” I frown.

“It kind of is, the first time always is. Hey, you’ll probably like it by at least the third time.”

“How? How could you like something like that from a man you don’t love?”

“How do people have one night stands?” She shrugs. “They do it for pleasure. If you just close your eyes and picture some famous hot guy, I guarantee you’ll find yourself enjoying it a lot,” she smirks.

I shudder imagining myself lying in bed and just taking whatever savagery he’s going to do to me.

“He’ll know what he’s doing, all guys-well most guys, love to see their woman get off. It’s like bragging rights for them whenever they make a girl orgasm. He’s probably very skillful in that art.”

I curl my lip in disgust. “How many girls has he slept with?”

“I could name over ten, but I don’t know how many exactly. He had a fling with one of my best friends last summer, her name is Ramona, she told me-against my wishes-that he was hung like a horse and that he liked it rough. She also told me his stamina was unlike anything she’s ever known.”

“I thought you told me it wouldn’t last long,” I gulp.

She laughs nervously. “Right, I did say that didn’t I? I mean one can hope.”

“There’s no way he’ll let our wedding night slide?”

Arabella snorts. “No, there has to be the proof.”

“Proof? What are people coming in to watch?!” I shout.

“Not that kind of proof. It’s tradition to ensure the bride was a still a virgin before her wedding night. Someone will come in the morning to collect the sheets. The evidence of your first time will be on them.”

“Like blood?” I pale.

“Yeah. I know it’s embarrassing, but-”

“Embarrassing? It’s degrading!”

“Calm down, Liliana. Everything will be okay, it’s not as horrible as you’re making it seem. Besides it’s the twenty-first century we have knowledge know that not every women bleeds her first time. They’re just keeping the tradition and taking the sheets. It’s a ceremony.”

“Not as horrible? I’m forced to have sex with a man I don’t even know nor do I love!”

“He will protect you, you are his family now. You should feel safe and wanted.”

Tossed from one cold family to the next.

“And if it’s so horrible to think that… at least think that now I am your cousin. We can be friends and do all kinds of things together!”

A smile tugs at my lips. “I guess you’re right.”

“I know I am, now let’s pop some popcorn and watch a movie.”

***

I turn up the volume on the radio blaring some new song I heard last month through the penthouse. Arabella left before it got too late last night, Angelo left this morning to do whatever business the Capo has planned for him. Carmelo is sitting on the couch reading a magazine pretending he doesn’t notice me dancing and singing at the top of my lungs.

Jumping from couch to couch, my hair left long as I whip it around. My arms are in the air waving, I shut my eyes and belt out a note. I sing the lyrics at the top of my lungs and do a little spin.

I crash into something fearing I knocked into the lamp or the television, but it’s infinitely worse. Antonio is standing like a statue gripping my shoulders which prevented me from falling.

“Jesus Christ! How long were you standing here!” I put my hand over my erratic heartbeat. I walk over and turn the volume all the way down on the radio.

“Since the song began.”

“Why did you stop me!”

“Because you seemed like you were enjoying yourself,” he shrugs.

I fix my shirt and pull the hem down. I tie my hair back and fan my overheated, red face. “What do you want?”

“I was just checking in.”

“Why?”

His eyebrows furrow. “Because you are my fiancée.”

“Your Russian enemies didn’t get me, yet. I’m fine. You can attend to your business,” I don’t know where the bitterness is coming out of me from.

“You are my business too, you know.” He crosses his arms over his tailored navy suit. I watch as the suit strains against his bulging biceps.

Get his naked body out of your head.

“Yes of course I’m business, wouldn’t want to ruin your little business deal with my daddy, and heaven forbid if your baby making machine dies!”

He jerks his head back. Out of the corner of my eyes Carmelo stands looking like he’s ready to intervene.

“You feel that way?”

“It is that way. Why else is their arranged marriages?! They’re there for political advantage and conceiving children!”

Antonio purses his lips and brushes his suit jacket. “I must get going.” He turns on his heel and leaves.

Why is this man stuck in my head? He is terrible.

Turning on the radio again, a love song is a dagger to my heart and my mind conjures up another naked image of what Antonio probably looks like. Bronze, smooth skin, defined pecs, rigid abs, and strong arms. I feel heat pooling in my legs and I close my legs closer together to try and ignore the need for friction.

“Are you feeling okay?” Carmelo says looming over me.

“Yes.”

“Your face is red and you’re sweating.”

“I’m fine!” I jump up defensively. “Go order Chinese or something,” like a brat, I run upstairs and slam my door shut.

I need a cold shower.

After my much needed shower, I hear the door downstairs open and I rush down starving hoping it was the soldier Carmelo called in to pick up the Chinese food. I yelp when I see Angelo in the foyer. I put my hand over my horrified expression.

“Are you okay?!” I rush to his side. Angelo is covered in blood. He doesn’t look hurt.

“Fine,” his eyes are cold and dark.

“The-the blood, oh my god, Angelo what did you do?” I cry out.

“This is the business, Liliana!” He shouts. “We kill people, we are all fucking monsters and your husband is the worst of all of us. He is just like Father.” Angelo pushes past of me and heads upstairs to probably get cleaned up.

I sit down on the ground trying to catch my breath. Father, Luca, and Angelo never came home with blood on their person. If they did, they were good at hiding. They never exposed me to that part of the world-is this what my new life is going to be like? Antonio coming home soaked in blood. I won’t be able to bear his touch if those hand murdered a man just hours before.

“You shouldn’t have seen something like that,” Carmelo says from over my shoulder.

“What does it matter,” I put my hands in my face and shake my head. “I’m so scared, Carmelo. I don’t want to marry Antonio. I don’t want to be a part of this life.”

Without any encouraging or soothing words, he simply rubs my back to comfort me.

***

“How are you doing my sweet girl?” My mother says over the phone.

“How were you married to the Capo?”

“Because it was my duty and I was honored.”

“Did dad ever come home with blood on his hands?”

“Is that what you’re worried about?”

“I’m afraid that I’m going to spend my life in a loveless marriage with children who act like Luca.”

Mother is silent on the other end. I know she doesn’t have anything to say that’ll make me feel better. The minute she married Domenico she was destined for a miserable life, just like I am.

“Antonio is very handsome-”

“He is a monster! He’s cold hearted!”

“Liliana,” Mother sighs. “Your wedding is in a week, are you ready? I can’t wait to see you.”

“Have you not been listening to me? No, I’m not ready! I’d rather run away.”

“He’ll kill you.”

I hang up the phone in frustration. I need to scream, I need to get away, I need to go.

I make a run for it. I rush down the stairs nearly tripping and falling in the dark. It’s not late, but late enough for Angelo to go to bed and for me to get ready for it. Carmelo is probably in his room readying himself for bed too. I don’t care about being quiet, if I’m fast, I can get away quicker.

Sprinting down a flight of stairs, when I reach level ground I’m suddenly tackled. Petrified that it’s a Russian who was waiting for me to make such a careless mistake like this, I plead for my life.

My body is flipped to see Carmelo straddling me. I’m still frantic, kicking and screaming. I’m so engrossed in my own panic I didn’t even notice he is on the phone until I hear him say, “I got her. I’m bringing her back to the apartment now…. Okay, you’re the boss.” Carmelo hangs up and throws me over his shoulder.

Instead of heading in the direction of the penthouse we continue to descend and take an elevator until we are in the lobby and then outside. He stuffs me in the company car and then gets in the driver seat.

“Where are you taking me?” I reach for the handle but he activated the child safety lock. “Please, Angelo will be worried about me.”

“He’ll know where you are. We will be there soon.”

Soon didn’t happen quick enough because I must’ve passed out from overexerting myself.

Once again, I find myself over Carmelo’s soldier. An elevator dings and we are in a different penthouse than the one I live in.

“Where are we?” I rub the sleep in my eyes.

“My home,” a deep, gruff voice calls. I can’t see anything but Carmelo’s rear-end as I hang over his back. “Tell me, why did you try to escape?” Antonio comes into view.

“Because I don’t want to marry you.”

He scratches the scruff on his cheek and chin. “And why is that? Have I been cruel to you? Am I not good enough?”

I want to cry again.

“No-”

“Then why do you not want to marry?” He says it like I have a choice to back out. “I am the most powerful man in Chicago, you should not be scared. You should be scared for anyone who dare tries to take you from me.”

Carmelo puts me down and leaves Antonio and I alone in his living room.

“You don’t love me,” I turn my head away from him not being able to take the intensity in his eyes.

He grabs my chin and raises my face so I’m forced to look at him. I never noticed but his eyes are hazel, not dark brown. “I do not love anything. Love is weakness, but it doesn’t mean I hate you or will be cruel to you. I take care of my family, and as my fiancée you are my family.”

“Why did you bring me here?” I ask softly.

“So I can keep an eye on my runaway bride, the security is much better here anyways. Carmelo will still be guarded outside your door. You’ll stay in one of my guest rooms.” Antonio leaves me and coming from down the stairs is Arabella.

“What are you doing here?” I rush to hug her.

“Oh Liliana, I missed you! Antonio called me just an hour ago asking me to stay so I can act as company for you!”

“I’ve missed you,” I hold her tight.

“You’re still having doubts about marrying my cousin?” Arabella frowns. “I’ve never seen someone put up so much fight over an arranged marriage, and I know people who were screwed worse by their father’s choice for them.” She shivers in disgust.

“It’s just… I’m mourning a dream. Mourning a life I thought maybe I could’ve had.”

“A life outside the Famiglia?” She asks and I nod. “Not possible.”

“I know, I’m so stupid.”

“You look exhausted, come on, let’s get you to bed.”

In bed I realized that this will officially be my new home when I marry Antonio next week. Of course I won’t be staying in this bedroom. The living room, the kitchen, Antonio’s bedroom… this will be the home I will suffer in, the home I will pace around doing nothing valuable with my time except raising his heirs. I miss New York City, I miss my lilac colored room.

I’m going to miss my innocence.

“Can you stay with me?” I ask Arabella before she exits the room.

“Sure,” she smiles and climbs into bed. “You can make the best out of this situation, it doesn’t have to be the end of the world…”