Loving Quinn Novel by North Rose

(Annora)

When Quinn dropped to his knees, I my heart jumped into my throat thinking he was going to pull a ring out of his pocket. Then, when he didn’t propose, I was split with how that made me feel. Part of me was relieved, because no matter how much I love him, it is too soon. The other part of me was hurt that he didn’t because I would love to become his wife.

One day.

Now I am sitting on the edge of our bed, rubbing my hand up and down his back. Panic set in when I confirmed it is possible that Dionne’s child is his. I doubt it, but since the b**h filed a lawsuit against him for child abandonment, a DNA test is the only way to prove

it.

“What lab do you plan on using for the test?”

“I will have my lawyer use the same one we used for Grace. We will do it through my lawyer. He will be there when she gives the sample to ensure it isn’t tampered with. His idea, not mine, My sample is already on file with the lab.”

“What if she asks to have her own independent lab run the same test?”

Something that is done in cases like this to ensure that neither test results is tampered with. It is what I would do if I were in this position. I mean, in a way, I am.

“Then I will have my lawyer and hers oversee the collections. I will have no interactions with her or the child until I know.”

“Do you want the child to be yours? The reason you two spilt was because of what she did to your baby.”

Quinn goes quiet for a few minutes. As he thinks about my question, I think about how I will handle the future between us if the child is his. This child could be Grace’s sibling and my potential stepchild. I know one thing for sure, no matter what the results are, there are two innocent lives in the middle of all of this.

Grace and a baby. Both are innocent of this drama. I will do everything I can to keep this from effecting my daughter negatively. Until the test results come in, there is no need to tell her about this situation.

“Two years ago, what she did devastated me. It was the first time I allowed myself to think about the future. It wasn’t the one I had planned, but it gave me hope. The hope that I wasn’t broken. I thought I loved Dionne. I really did. Do you want to know what my first reaction, besides the anger, was?”

The raw fear in his eyes when they meet mine makes my heart throb in pain. From all that has happened since he came back into my life, I can understand his reaction. He doesn’t need to say anything because his eyes tell me everything I need to know.

“You think I am going to leave you, don’t you?”

When he closes those amazing sea-green eyes of his and bows his head, it is like he is bracing for the worst. After living without him for twelve years, giving birth to his daughter, there is no way I am walking away now.

“Dionne isn’t going to win, Quinn. That b**h wants a fight, and we will give her one. Together.”

“Does it make me a bad person if I don’t want her child to be mine? I will do the right thing if the results say that I am. I will love them unconditionally because I can’t do anything other than that.”

That is why I love this man. He may look unapproachable to some people, but I know the real Quinn. He has a big heart and so much love to give. Love that his father denied him after his mother died. Because of how he grew up after that day, he will never deny any child of

his love.

1/4

“Come here,” I say to him as I stand up off the bed.

He looks up at me with a confused expression but takes the hand I hold out for him. With his hand in mine, I lead him to the large mirror on the wall above the dresser. When he looks at me through his reflection in the mirror, he is still confused.

“What are you doing, Annie?”

“What do you see when you look at your reflection in the mirror?”

Quinn tilts his head to study his reflection. “An incredibly handsome man standing next to the most beautiful woman in the world.”

I smile at his response. “Look deeper, go beyond the physical.”

E

He closes his eyes for a moment, then he does as I ask him. “I see a battle-weary soldier, a man who has done some good here and there, but also a man who did a lot of bad to escape nightmares of war.”

“What terrible things did you do? Sleeping around with all those women?”

He turns around to face me, then leans back on the dresser. “I don’t want to talk about all the women I slept with in the past.”

“You promised to be open and honest with me, Quinn. This is part of that. We have to be able to talk to each other about everything.”

With a frustrated growl, Quinn walks away from the dresser. He walks to the balcony window then just stared out at the night sky Just when I think he is going to ignore the topic, he speaks in a voice that has gone flat, no emotion in his tone.

“At first, it started as a way to numb the loneliness that comes with the life of a soldier. Moving from one base to another, one deployment after another. It left no room for a steady life. Then when my relationship with Dionne became more than it should have

been, I turned to her instead of random women.”

My heart clinches in pain at the thought of the loneliness he lived through. I could have saved him all of that had I just tried harder to find him. I should have kept fighting to get through to someone who could find him for me.

Some women in my shoes would run for the hills after learning about all the women he slept with and after meeting the woman he almost married. I can’t be angry with him for any of that. Not when I dated and married another man and had a life with him.

Am I wrong for asking for him to give me the details of his past sexual exploits? Maybe. However, I want to know his state of mind during that time so that I can be better prepared to help him in the future.

“When G&C Enterprises become one of the biggest companies on the east coast, women practically threw themselves at us. We were two of the richest single men in New York’s upper elite. Every time we had to attend parties or charity events in the effort to build our business’s status, there were women who only saw us as a bank account

He turns to look at me now. His eyes are dull and flat as he recounts his past at my request. I did this to him, but I need to know the full

truth.

“I used what they offered me, their bodies, for a single night of mindless pleasure. I never promised them anything more than sex because I wanted nothing more from them. Just a means to an end to chase my hightmares away.”

This conversation has changed from me trying to get him to see all the good in him that I see. It was my way of proving that he is worthy of the love he has always felt he didn’t deserve. The love his father denied him when he needed it the most.

Now, I am looking at him entirely different. I am seeing for the first time the man he told me he used to be. The man I had a glimpse of that night at the charity event when he saved me from Kyle. When he dismissed his date so callously.

After every woman I slept with, I felt a little more of my soul die. Each night with a different woman, my heart turned to ice as I knew what they really wanted. A chance in my bed, hoping that they would be the one woman to change me. The woman to become my wife.

2/4

None of them knew me. They just saw my money.”

I walk to him after he stops talking and turns to look at the window again. He stiffens when I wrap my arms around him from behinds as I press my cheek against his back. I hold him until he relaxes. We stay just like this for a few more minutes before I turn him around to face

me.

His eyes change from that flat look he had when talking about his past. Now they are soft and warm when he looks at me. I lift my hand to stroke his cheek.

“You did nothing wrong with those women. They were using you just as much as you were using them. Their reasons were for their selfish greed. Social status seeking. You are not the horrible man you think you are.”

“How can you say that? I used so many women just for sex. How can you not feel dirty after knowing how many women I have been with before I came back into your life?”

I haven’t thought about it that way. Not once since he told me about those women have I felt the way he thinks I should. “I have felt loved, desired, and cherished, but not once have I felt dirty.”

He drops to his knees, wraps his arms around my waist, then pressed his face against my belly. He shocks me further by breaking down into tears. His shoulders moving violently as he s**bs against my stomach. Gently, I wrap one arm around his shoulder, then I slip my free

hand into his hair to hold him close to me.

I am completely stunned by the turn of events. When he told me about Dionne’s child, I was angry for him, but not at him. Then when I

attempted to have him see in himself all the things, I see in him. That turned into a conversation where I opened a wound in his soul that

I didn’t know was there.

When his so**s quiet down and silence descends on the room, I continue to hold him, but I decide to take a trip down memory lane while Į

do.

“Do you remember the first time we went somewhere other than the dock at my grandparents’ place? It was the first time we were alone together without their watchful eyes on us from the living room window.”

Quinn doesn’t reply or show any sign that he heard me. I stroke his hair to soothe him, much like I have done and still do with our daughter. He moves his head to the side so that I can stroke his cheek, too.

“I was so nervous that afternoon before you showed up, but the moment I put my hand in yours as we walked off the porch, all those nerves went away. You could always do that, and I never knew how you put me at ease so effortlessly.”

He looks up at me as I remember all we did together that day. When I look down into his sea-green eyes, they are clear and soft as he looks into mine. Again, he says nothing, but he stands up, then scoops me up in his arms and walks to the bed.

When we reach the bed, he sits me on my feet, then he strips down to his boxer shorts. I let him lift my shirt up, then raise my arms into the air so he can pull it over my head. His warm hands slip into the waist of my lounge pants, then lowers them over my hips.

When we are both in only our underwear, he scoops me up again. With one hand, he pulls the comforter down, then he gently places me in the middle of the bed. He joins me, then covers us up after rolling me over into my side so he can curl up behind me with his face

buried in my hair at the nape of my neck.

“Keep talking, please. I want to hear about that day from your point of view. I love hearing your voice.”

With his groin pressed against my a*** I am unable to focus for a moment. I lay my hand over his where it rests on my bare stomach. This is such an intimate position that I forget what I was talking about before he laid me down on the bed.

With effort, I pull my mind back to the past. “You took me on a hike through the woods to that little pond. We had complete privacy. Yet, instead of making a move, we sat and talked for hours. I so wanted you to kiss me, and I spent the entire afternoon waiting for you to make the first move.”

3/4

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I can feel his laughter as his chest moves against my back and his hot breath fans my neck. His breath on my neck causes me to shiver. His voice is soft when he speaks again.

“I was nervous to kiss you. It was something I thought of doing for weeks, but didn’t dare do more than hug you or hold your hand. Not with your parents, brothers, and grandparents milling around the house and front yard.”

A laugh bursts from me before I can stop it. “So, we were both too nervous to kiss each other.”

“You took me by surprise when you asked me if I was ever going to kiss you. It put me on the spot, so I had to swallow those nerves.”

That first kiss with Quinn that summer was magical. I remember how he leaned forward, gently slid his hand up into my hair to cup the back of my neck. The way his beautiful eyes locked on mine as he slowly closed the distance between us made my heart rate speed up in anticipation. My eyes fluttered closed when his soft lips brushed over mine.

When he pressed his lips more firmly over mine, I swear my heart stopped. I lifted my hands to fist in his shirt as he nibbled on my lower lip. Passion flared between us that day, but we went no further than a very steamy make-out session on the ground next to the pond.

“That afternoon stayed in my mind over the twelve years we were apart.” Quinn says.

His voice is husky as he speaks after I finish recounting that memory. He moves away enough so he can gently roll me onto my back. I smile at him as he covers my body with his, then I sigh when his lips brush mine just like they did the first time that summer.

We spend the rest of the night making out like we are teenagers again.

Chapter Comments

12

Grace and a baby. Both are innocent of this drama. I will do everything I can to keep this from effecting my daughter negatively. Until the test results come in, there is no need to tell her about this situation.

“Two years ago, what she did devastated me. It was the first time I allowed myself to think about the future. It wasn’t the one I had planned, but it gave me hope. The hope that I wasn’t broken. I thought I loved Dionne. I really did. Do you want to know what my first reaction, besides the anger, was?”

The raw fear in his eyes when they meet mine makes my heart throb in pain. From all that has happened since he came back into my life, I can understand his reaction. He doesn’t need to say anything because his eyes tell me everything I need to know.

“You think I am going to leave you, don’t you?”

When he closes those amazing sea-green eyes of his and bows his head, it is like he is bracing for the worst. After living without him for twelve years, giving birth to his daughter, there is no way I am walking away now.

“Dionne isn’t going to win, Quinn. That **h wants a fight, and we will give her one. Together.”

“Does it make me a bad person if I don’t want her child to be mine? I will do the right thing if the results say that I am. I will love them unconditionally because I can’t do anything other than that.”

That is why I love this man. He may look unapproachable to some people, but I know the real Quinn. He has a big heart and so much love to give. Love that his father denied him after his mother died. Because of how he grew up after that day, he will never deny any child of

his love.

1/4

“Come here,” I say to him as I stand up off the bed.

He looks up at me with a confused expression but takes the hand I hold out for him. With his hand in mine, I lead him to the large mirror on the wall above the dresser. When he looks at me through his reflection in the mirror, he is still confused.

“What are you doing, Annie?”

“What do you see when you look at your reflection in the mirror?”

Quinn tilts his head to study his reflection. “An incredibly handsome man standing next to the most beautiful woman in the world.”

I smile at his response. “Look deeper, go beyond the physical.”

E

He closes his eyes for a moment, then he does as I ask him. “I see a battle-weary soldier, a man who has done some good here and there, but also a man who did a lot of bad to escape nightmares of war.”

“What terrible things did you do? Sleeping around with all those women?”

He turns around to face me, then leans back on the dresser. “I don’t want to talk about all the women I slept with in the past.”

“You promised to be open and honest with me, Quinn. This is part of that. We have to be able to talk to each other about everything.”

With a frustrated growl, Quinn walks away from the dresser. He walks to the balcony window then just stared out at the night sky Just when I think he is going to ignore the topic, he speaks in a voice that has gone flat, no emotion in his tone.

“At first, it started as a way to numb the loneliness that comes with the life of a soldier. Moving from one base to another, one deployment after another. It left no room for a steady life. Then when my relationship with Dionne became more than it should have

been, I turned to her instead of random women.”

My heart clinches in pain at the thought of the loneliness he lived through. I could have saved him all of that had I just tried harder to find him. I should have kept fighting to get through to someone who could find him for me.

Some women in my shoes would run for the hills after learning about all the women he slept with and after meeting the woman he almost married. I can’t be angry with him for any of that. Not when I dated and married another man and had a life with him.

Am I wrong for asking for him to give me the details of his past sexual exploits? Maybe. However, I want to know his state of mind during that time so that I can be better prepared to help him in the future.

“When G&C Enterprises become one of the biggest companies on the east coast, women practically threw themselves at us. We were two of the richest single men in New York’s upper elite. Every time we had to attend parties or charity events in the effort to build our business’s status, there were women who only saw us as a bank account

He turns to look at me now. His eyes are dull and flat as he recounts his past at my request. I did this to him, but I need to know the full

truth.

“I used what they offered me, their bodies, for a single night of mindless pleasure. I never promised them anything more than sex because I wanted nothing more from them. Just a means to an end to chase my hightmares away.”

This conversation has changed from me trying to get him to see all the good in him that I see. It was my way of proving that he is worthy of the love he has always felt he didn’t deserve. The love his father denied him when he needed it the most.

Now, I am looking at him entirely different. I am seeing for the first time the man he told me he used to be. The man I had a glimpse of that night at the charity event when he saved me from Kyle. When he dismissed his date so callously.

After every woman I slept with, I felt a little more of my soul die. Each night with a different woman, my heart turned to ice as I knew what they really wanted. A chance in my bed, hoping that they would be the one woman to change me. The woman to become my wife.

2/4

None of them knew me. They just saw my money.”

I walk to him after he stops talking and turns to look at the window again. He stiffens when I wrap my arms around him from behinds as I press my cheek against his back. I hold him until he relaxes. We stay just like this for a few more minutes before I turn him around to face

me.

His eyes change from that flat look he had when talking about his past. Now they are soft and warm when he looks at me. I lift my hand to stroke his cheek.

“You did nothing wrong with those women. They were using you just as much as you were using them. Their reasons were for their selfish greed. Social status seeking. You are not the horrible man you think you are.”

“How can you say that? I used so many women just for sex. How can you not feel dirty after knowing how many women I have been with before I came back into your life?”

I haven’t thought about it that way. Not once since he told me about those women have I felt the way he thinks I should. “I have felt loved, desired, and cherished, but not once have I felt dirty.”

He drops to his knees, wraps his arms around my waist, then pressed his face against my belly. He shocks me further by breaking down into tears. His shoulders moving violently as he s**bs against my stomach. Gently, I wrap one arm around his shoulder, then I slip my free

hand into his hair to hold him close to me.

I am completely stunned by the turn of events. When he told me about Dionne’s child, I was angry for him, but not at him. Then when I

attempted to have him see in himself all the things, I see in him. That turned into a conversation where I opened a wound in his soul that

I didn’t know was there.

When his s**bs quiet down and silence descends on the room, I continue to hold him, but I decide to take a trip down memory lane while Į

do.

“Do you remember the first time we went somewhere other than the dock at my grandparents’ place? It was the first time we were alone together without their watchful eyes on us from the living room window.”

Quinn doesn’t reply or show any sign that he heard me. I stroke his hair to soothe him, much like I have done and still do with our daughter. He moves his head to the side so that I can stroke his cheek, too.

“I was so nervous that afternoon before you showed up, but the moment I put my hand in yours as we walked off the porch, all those nerves went away. You could always do that, and I never knew how you put me at ease so effortlessly.”

He looks up at me as I remember all we did together that day. When I look down into his sea-green eyes, they are clear and soft as he looks into mine. Again, he says nothing, but he stands up, then scoops me up in his arms and walks to the bed.

When we reach the bed, he sits me on my feet, then he strips down to his boxer shorts. I let him lift my shirt up, then raise my arms into the air so he can pull it over my head. His warm hands slip into the waist of my lounge pants, then lowers them over my hips.

When we are both in only our underwear, he scoops me up again. With one hand, he pulls the comforter down, then he gently places me in the middle of the bed. He joins me, then covers us up after rolling me over into my side so he can curl up behind me with his face

buried in my hair at the nape of my neck.

“Keep talking, please. I want to hear about that day from your point of view. I love hearing your voice.”

With his groin pressed against my a** I am unable to focus for a moment. I lay my hand over his where it rests on my bare stomach. This is such an intimate position that I forget what I was talking about before he laid me down on the bed.

With effort, I pull my mind back to the past. “You took me on a hike through the woods to that little pond. We had complete privacy. Yet, instead of making a move, we sat and talked for hours. I so wanted you to kiss me, and I spent the entire afternoon waiting for you to make the first move.”

3/4

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I can feel his laughter as his chest moves against my back and his hot breath fans my neck. His breath on my neck causes me to shiver. His voice is soft when he speaks again.

“I was nervous to kiss you. It was something I thought of doing for weeks, but didn’t dare do more than hug you or hold your hand. Not with your parents, brothers, and grandparents milling around the house and front yard.”

A laugh bursts from me before I can stop it. “So, we were both too nervous to kiss each other.”

“You took me by surprise when you asked me if I was ever going to kiss you. It put me on the spot, so I had to swallow those nerves.”

That first kiss with Quinn that summer was magical. I remember how he leaned forward, gently slid his hand up into my hair to cup the back of my neck. The way his beautiful eyes locked on mine as he slowly closed the distance between us made my heart rate speed up in anticipation. My eyes fluttered closed when his soft lips brushed over mine.

When he pressed his lips more firmly over mine, I swear my heart stopped. I lifted my hands to fist in his shirt as he nibbled on my lower lip. Passion flared between us that day, but we went no further than a very steamy make-out session on the ground next to the pond.

“That afternoon stayed in my mind over the twelve years we were apart.” Quinn says.

His voice is husky as he speaks after I finish recounting that memory. He moves away enough so he can gently roll me onto my back. I smile at him as he covers my body with his, then I sigh when his lips brush mine just like they did the first time that summer.

We spend the rest of the night making out like we are teenagers again.