Love You Can’t Say

“So?” he sneered with a cold face, looking horrible, “Because Leo has showed up in your world, you deem yourself accessible to the right that you can choose the one who loves and spoils you, right? And that’s what makes me less important in your heart. Do you think so?”

Anger overwhelmed my mind as I heard so. I couldn’t help answering loud, “You are right! Since you deem yourself accessible to the right to choose the one who loves you, why can’t I? You still wanna make yourself important in my heart at the same time?”

“Huh,” he sneered, making the air around chill even more, “Clara, stop making excuse. So what’s your plan now? Divorce me? And then fall in love with Leo? Let me warn you! You’d better cut your daydream! Even if you weren’t pregnant with my own baby, I would never agree to divorce.”

“Dennis, you bastard!” I knew he just wanted to make me suffer by locking me down in the marriage. He tried to ruin my happiness. The long-lasting grievance and sufferings smashed my sanity.

I smashed everything in the room, the lamp and every decorated gadget. They cracked and shattered into pieces, “Since you can do whatever you want with Olivia, why can’t I? Dennis, let me tell you! I don’t even want this baby.”

Of course, madness had mounted over my soberness.

His face went bloodshot red. He grabbed me hard and huffed with chilling eyes, “How dare you say that!”

I glared at him to vent out all my anger, “I don’t even want this baby! Listen up, I don’t want the baby!”

I raised my fist my punch my belly hard, sobbing and choking, “The baby smashed everything I treasured. I don’t want this baby! Neither do you deserve to be a father!”

“Clara!” his eyes went bloodshot. He gritted his teeth hard, “Do you have any idea what you were saying?”

I shook off his hands and forced out a bitter smile, “I know it well.” My voice sounded heartrending.

I felt like being stabbed inside by sharp daggers, “Dennis, it’s okay to have no divorce. But don’t intervene in my private matters.”

He squinted, trying hard to suppress his anger, “Your private matters?”© NôvelDrama.Org - All rights reserved.

“Since you can start a relationship with Olivia, why can’t I with Leo?” foolish talk ran out of my mouth again because of madness.

He pushed me hard onto the bed and grumbled with hoarse voice, “With Leo for what?”

While speaking, he suddenly ripped something hard.

The only blouse on my body was tore apart. He acted rudely, permitting no resistance, “What has he done to you? Keep flesh against flesh just like what you are doing now?”

“Dennis, kill me if you are a man!” I pinched his back hard and shouted.

“A dead body is way too much boring. I prefer to go on step by step.”

I finally no more resisted, finding it meaningless. I let go of my pinch and stared at the ceiling like a walking dead.

Long after, he stood up to enter the bathroom. Then he walked out a few minutes later. He rubbed to dry his hair, got himself changed and left without saying a word.

He slammed the door hard, the noise of which echoed in the room for long.

I wondered when would be the end.

As I had quit my job, I had nothing else to do. When Diana called me, I just finished showering.

I picked up the phone and asked, “Have you reached the village and found an accommodation?”

“Yeah!” she answered, “Did Dennis pick you up in the station?”

I paused, “You told him about it?” No wonder I saw Dennis outside the station.

She replied, “Yeah, since you decided to spend the rest of your life with him, you have to make it clear. No matter how his relationship with Olivia is, you are still the officially recognized Mrs. George. And your marriage still needs to go on. So, Clara, since you have made your own choice, spend your time with him wisely. Be more positive. Otherwise, you will only exhaust yourself.”

Of course I knew what she meant. But I sighed, “But we have just got into a big quarrel and he slammed the door hard to leave alone.”

“A quarrel again?” she was speechless, “Why couldn’t you have a nice talk?”

“How? He found himself reluctant to leave Olivia. Nor did he wanna divorce. Diana, How am I gonna have a nice talk with him like that?”

“Divorce him! Only divorce can make a clear cut between your private business and his!”

Actually, I would like to literally go for a divorce. But it would only bring me a lot of troubles. I threw the towel aside and slumped onto the sofa, sighing, “Leo met me on the train and we left the station together, at the gate of which I bumped into Dennis. He believed that I must have an affair with Leo because he saw me staying with him. That’s why he showed great reluctance to divorce.”

“Fuck!” she cursed, “What a fucking coincidence!”

I was speechless.

“So what are you gonna do now?”

I replied while grabbing my phone hard, distraught, “I have no idea. Now I just hope that I can give birth to the baby safely.”

I had been pregnant for five months. So I was destined to be a mother. What was more, Leo was right about a point-actually, I was also isolated, feeling no sense of belonging. But the baby meant solace to me. I found no reason to refuse his birth. Of course, I didn’t do it for Dennis.

Only the baby could make me redeem myself.

After hanging up the phone, it was getting dark outside. Someone knocked on the door.

I opened the door and saw Nanny Daisy, who was holding a pot of steaming chicken soup. She said while looking at me, “Hungry? Mr. George asked me to cook you some soup to warm up your body.”

As I had a late lunch and Leo made me stuff myself, I felt no appetite at this moment. But looking at her smile, I found it hard to refuse.

So I said, “Thank you, Daisy.”

I reached out my hands to take the soup. But she hurried to say, “Oh, stop. Let me do it. It’s too hot. I am afraid it will burn your hands.”

She placed the soup in the bedroom, rubbed to clean her own hands and said to me, “You have a quarrel with Mr. George?”

I wasn’t surprise as we did make a lot of noise just now.

I nodded and walked beside the table to sit down. “Yes…” I replied in low voice.

She sighed, “Young couple never learn to control the temper. Why didn’t you have a nice talk? A quarrel only does harm to both of you.”

I smiled. But the bitterness of the marriage could only be sensed by the couple themselves.

“Clara!” she sat down next to me and held my hand to comfort patiently, “You have married Mr. George for almost three years. I have served as his nanny since he was a little boy. He has been taciturn with short temper. So he would bury a lot of burdens in his mind alone rather than tell anyone else.”