Love Aint Always Pretty

Chapter 38: 38 Sinbi

Sinbi (신비)

Translation: Mystery

Origin: Korean

SAVANNAH'S POV

I threw myself to bed and I'm already so exhausted even though it's still Wednesday. I have this seriously difficult project to pass on Friday which I'm still not done with, the same day as my exam for English I. I haven't memorized the English writers needed to be memorized. The past three days, I haven't seen Nick again. He's always gone so long and just pops out of nowhere all of a sudden. I know I shouldn't be allowed to look for him cos we have no label but he makes me worried about him sometimes.

The door swings open, "Ugh! Good thing I saw you."

It was Tracy.

She walks inside and slammed the door behind her. She sits on my bed and I smiled at her. She looks as tired as I am. "I need a hug." She sighs.

She opens her arms wide to me with a rueful smile. I pulled myself up and just hugged her. I rubbed her back. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Clyde and I fought. Nick is not picking up his phone when I called him and... I really need someone that's why I'm here and I'm glad you're here." She answered.

"Why'd you fought with Clyde?" I asked.

She pulls herself away. "He got jealous over my classmate that's been linked to me since I first got here. I mean come on, it wasn't like we did something sexual."

I smiled at her. "I'm sure everything's gonna be okay. Clyde will realize that tomorrow."

She sighs.

"I hope." She rolls her eyes at me.

"Hey, cheer up. Why don't we go... Drink?"

She arched an eyebrow. "You don't drink Sav." She snorts.

"I think I need a drink too. I'm really tired with my classes lately and I gotta unwind a little bit. Gosh it's just the middle day of the week and I'm already exhausted. Beat that." I said.

She chuckles. "Okay, let's go grab some drinks. Let's call it a Saracy night."

"A what?"

"Saracy. Combined name for Savannah and Tracy." She smiles.

I chuckled. "Okay. Let's go."

We got up from the bed and headed out of the dorm. I fixed my scarf around my neck as we walked along the streets. Tracy and I talked about how they fought and as a good friend of hers, I listened to her and tried my very best to give her the best advice I could ever think of. I'm not really good at giving others some advice but I still tried.

The second we reached the diner, both of us ordered our dinner. We still talked about her and Clyde. She told me how she hated when Penny tries to get all flirty with him every time she has fights with Clyde. I thought she was only eyeing on Nick but I guess she's always eyeing on all men around her. Tracy also asked me what she could do for her to get reconciled with Clyde when she didn't even do anything wrong. Good thing, I've read a few books about romance and I told her what I learned from those novels.

"Trace?" I called out.

"Yeah?"

"That night when you accidentally spilled out Nick's age, he was mad. I could tell."

She gazed at me.

"Why was he mad? You even looked guilty after you said that and you said you were sorry. Why? Age is just a number. What's the big deal about it?" I asked her.

"Nick doesn't really want people to know any form of information about him. He's gotten very secretive ever since...." She trailed off.

"Ever since?" I asked.

"I can't tell you."

She bent her head down "Sorry."

I sigh inwardly.

"But he told me..." she starts. "That if people will know about his age, they'll be really curious about him. They'll ask more questions at him and you know he hates questions. Because if people will know

he's that old and he's still in college, it'll only lead to his past. And he hates people who interferes with his past."

I paused.

"What happened to his past?" I asked.

She pulled her head up and looked at me.

"What happened to Nick?" I asked again.

She still locked her eyes at me and didn't say anything. I couldn't read the way she looks at me. Then I remembered that day when somebody told me to be careful around him. Why? What did he do?

"I'm not being offensive or anything but I think you need to know this Trace." I said.

She arched an eyebrow.

"Days ago. There were some girls who told me to be careful around Nick. Why? What should I need to be careful of? Is he dangerous?" I asked.

She didn't answer and looked away.

"Tracy what did he do?" I asked again.

She exhales heavily. "Nothing."

Tracy pulls her glass and took a sip from her cola. "He didn't do anything Savannah. Maybe those girls were just jealous of you cos you're hanging out with me a lot plus we're roommates and you have the advantage of being close with Nick."

She smiles.

"Nick's not some psycho if that's what you're thinking." she added.

What if he is? What if he was schizophrenic? What if she's just saying that to cover up for Nick? I mean he's her brother. She wouldn't want to embarrass her own brother in front of me.

I just smiled at her.

"He wasn't really a closed-off person before. He's always the friendly one. He loves being around with friends. Back at home, his guys would come over to watch football game and he goes out a lot to the point when our mom would ground him everyday but he still sneaks out. He was just a normal teenage boy. But... something changed him." She looked outside the window the entire time she narrated it.

I could see the sorrow in Tracy's eyes.

"What was it?" I asked.

She moves her head to me. "I'm not allowed to tell. I'm sorry."

"Is it related to Catherine?" I asked.

Her eyes widened. "How'd you know her?"

"Well... he mentioned her name when he was drunk that first night I got in WSU."

She nods.

"Who is she?" I asked.

"Nick's first love."

Ouch.

"The only woman he loves and will love, as what he always tells me." She added.

Double ouch

There was silence between me and Tracy. Complete silence and I just don't know what to answer her. I don't know how to react to that. I'm hurt. I'm really hurting about it but I can't show Tracy that I'm hurt cos I'll look stupid in front of her and she doesn't know about me and Nick. But my heart is really hurting. My heart is torn to bits and I have to show her that I'm okay. That I'm not affected by it.

"Last Monday was Catherine's 25th birthday. Every time Nick is not around, he's usually gone for two days or three. He won't be around WSU or at the frat house or not responding to calls and texts, that's when I know where he is. He's with Catherine for sure." She continues.

I slightly gaped. Like today, she said she tried to call Nick but he's not picking up. He's with Catherine? He's with her? He's with her for days now for sure. He's been long gone. I feel my heartbeat getting rapid now and hurting. So much hurt.

"He's still seeing Catherine?" I asked.

She nods.

"Until now?" I added.

"He visits her." Tracy answered.

They still see each other. Oh good God. Nick is still seeing his first love. Nick is still seeing Catherine. I couldn't explain how I'm feeling. It feels like I'm being run over by a truck and my heart is shot by arrows and more arrows. My world just stopped.

"Don't tell anyone about that. No one knows except me and Alec." She added.

"Wait, Alec knows?" I asked.

She nods. "Alec's same aged as Nick. They went college together. They've been childhood friends."

Right.

"Remember that night when Nick lent me his frat shirt on a party and you told him first time in eight years?" I asked.

Tracy nods.

"What did that mean?" I added.

"Nick's always been distant to other women. He doesn't really care about them whether they're lying on their own puke or something much worst. He doesn't care. When I saw that shirt on you, I thought he had a thing for you. But when I asked him when we were alone, he said he didn't and was just returning the favor." She answered.

It's been days since that night and her answer hurt me even more.

"I really like you for my brother, Savannah. That's no lie. But you're too young and too innocent for a man like Nick. You wouldn't understand him or his world. It's crazy in his world." She added.

"Why crazy?" I asked breathlessly.

"Ah you're both here." A voice called out.

Ugh, what a seriously perfect timing.

Nick. Oh god it's Nick! He's back.

He's with Clyde.

__________

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