Living With The Player

**CAMILLA RENÉE**

As I said, okay I might not have said it directly, but I’m sure by now you would’ve caught up to the happenings of my life.

More specifically, the one which occured two years ago. At this very party, on a night such as this.

I was elated, after a twist of event, I was nothing short of sad and fear stricken.

I’m sure everyone has ideas on what happened.

It’s fairly easy to guess.

Dylan and I met that night, of course I’d seen him trolling the hallway in his bad boy lifestyle, but that night was differnt.

He was different.

He made the night special.

I squeezed hard.

If only this jerk hadn’t done what he did, that night wouldn’t be scarred in my head.

Whenever I recall it, I wouldn’t feel a knot in my stomach or the urge to throw up wouldn’t rise.

There are happy sides, but there’s always the undeniable hurt.

This douchebag in front of me, well how do I describe him? He’s the worse. A jerk. A bastard. An animal. Whatever adjective you use. He’s terrible.

He’s Brandon. Brandon is a student of Richmond highschool. Richmond and Kingston high are closely built, you could see their fence from ours, as such they got invites to our parties. Brandon was there that night and he made it the worse night of my life.

Let’s not dwell much on that before I puke right this second.

He’s not worth a minute.

“Again, silence means yes. You’re scared of me.”

He announced. More like bragged.

Who wouldn’t be scared of him?

He had this big bad wolf personality.

All black clothing. With Dylan, it’s hot. Brandon makes it scary. Dark hair. Dark eyes. Dark clothing. Wicked smirk that never seems to come off.

I curled my fist, leaving a finger out.

“You stay away from me Brandon. I don’t have anything to do with you, just stay away.”

My voice sounded cold. Rugged even. Maybe he’ll be scared. Maybe.

I was wrong. He found my resistance amusing.

The added grin on his cheeks explained that.

“Oh my dearest Camilla, I’ll leave. Enjoy the party, but we’ll be seeing each other real soon. Dream of me while you sleep tonight. That shouldn’t be too hard.”

He winked.

Moments later, he turned his back against me and left in the direction he came through.

Once he was out of sight, I realeased a sharp breath.

I’ve been holding that for minutes.

My hand over my chest, panting while clinging to the rail beside me.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, a tiny gasp escaping from the back as I did.

This is how it starts. The room spinning. Gasping for breath. My thoughts whirling and before long, I’m having a panic attack.

All because of that ass hole. It’s all his fault.

I breathed sharply, blinking my eyes to keep the tears from spilling

What’s funny is how I’m surrounded by over fifty students, they’re all too high to notice. Or maybe they did and none of them care to investigate.

I chuckled sadly, choking on what was left.

This is my karma I guess. I shouldn’t have come here. To this party. I shouldn’t have.

“Breathe Camilla. You only have you. No one cares obviously, so suck it up and just breathe.”

I said to myself taking sharp breaths.

After a while, I regained myself, biting down on my quivering lips, the only thing keeping those tears from spilling once and for all.

Ugh.

That bastard doesn’t deserve any of my tears and he isn’t getting them.

I went back to the bar to get yet another drink whilist sending a text to Dylan to tell him I wanted to leave, coming to this party was a mistake.

After clicking send, I face palmed my forehead.

I just kissed him, rather made out with him and then I ran out like a crazy person.

Ugh.

I should not be texting him.

Bad idea.

How do you delete a text?

Maybe I can just sneak out before he gets here.

Then again, who do I get to take me?

I chuckled sadly.

I’m the lonely miserable Camilla with no friends.

Of course.

I drew the bottle closer, falling on my head.

I’m so sad.

My shoulders raked with sobs.

Ugh.

Don’t cry. Don’t you dare cry.

Miranda.

I’ll plead with her to help.

Who am I kidding? I didn’t even have Miranda’s number to tell her.

I would have to wait till Monday to inform her then.

I chunked a shot of alcohol before disposing of the bottle.

I slid out from the sweaty high school students letting all their worries out and drowning their sorrows in alcohol.

The second I stepped out, the warm breeze but my body.

Even with my clothing, it did feel chilly.

I dragged my feet to a spot and fell.

Not a hard fall, just enough so I could lay on the grass mad stare at the sky.

The stars and the constillations. My dad and I used to do this. Back then when I was still daddy’s little girl. Now I’m nothing but a failure and a dissapointment. Anticlimactic much?

I chuckled.

My phone beeped.

I groaned, fishing it from my purse.

Two texts came in simultaneously.

One from Dylan and the other from Kyle.

I shrugged opening the one that came first. Kyle. Yes I’d rather speak to my cheating ex boyfriend than face the guy I kissed.

“Hey, are you okay? I haven’t seen you since the game? Kyle.”

“Lame!”

I exclaimed, exiting the pop up without replying.

He’s not my boyfriend, I do not owe him a damn thing.

Plus, he didn’t have a right to care about me anymore. Last I check, around this time he was thrusting into Eva’s core.

“Oh Camilla.”

I grumbled, rolling over to the side.

Okay. Okay.

My fingers danced around Dylan’s text.

I tapped open before I talk myself out of it.

“Alright. I was just about to day the same thing. Can you meet me at the parking lot? And Camilla are you okay? Dylan.”

I groaned all over again, keeping the phone aside.

Both palms flew to my face, covering my eyes.

I released a breath.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.

It’s weird and funny how they both asked the same thing in a funny and weird way.

I faced the grass, turning over to laugh.

Am I okay?

Well I’m tispy, a little hungry, and the urge to puke keeps coming up but am I okay?

Peachy I guess.

Nah, I’m not.

That’s okay though.

I wasn’t ready to be okay this night, I just wanted a warm bath, my soft bed and a long, long rest. I checked the time, it wasn’t even midnight yet. Usually, I would still be at a party by this time and get a scolding by the time I’m home. They haven’t even called yet which is weird for them so it’s either they’re out late like us or they got home and slept off immediately without bothering to check up on me.

I think the latter. I’m not a little girl to my parents and they stopped caring.

I laughed again. A weird sound to my hearing.

Ok. I responded to Dylan’s text, got up and began moving towards the parking lot. My phone beeped again.

“Hey, I’m sorry I couldn’t spend much time with you because of the girls, I’ll definately make it up to you, but it seems your night went fun as well. Unknown.”

It was accompanied with a wink emoji, I realised who it was and wondered how she got my number. I locked my phone deciding to reply to all my text messages before sleeping, when I get home.

For now, I have to meet up with Mr Emerton. Well I’m drunk, that should help with the embarrassing and awkward stares.

Dylan walked out minutes later, his hands in his pocket. He didn’t look drunk, probably because he knew he would be driving, or he handles alcohol much more than I can.

“Ready?”

He asked for confirmation, I nodded my head slowly with a small smile and got on the bike.

That was somewhat easier than I potrayed in my head.

He drove off immediately, my eyes wanted to shut so badly.

I was spent.

My shoulders were aching, my legs felt wobbly at the side of his bike.

Who knew a party could be so exhausting?

I laid my head on his back holding him as tight as I could closing my eyes, letting the wind blow past my face.

****

We arrived at his house. I knew we did. I heard the gates.

He pulled over, I should’ve opened my eyes, but I’m tired.

I heard his sigh, a tired one yet so invariably hot.

That was before he helped me down, taking the helmet off my face, messing my hair a little. That’s when my eyes fluttered open, I pouted my lips staring at him wordlessly.

I offered him a half smile.

Since I’m up, might as well walk inside.

Just then, he held my hand stopping my next movements.

Frankly, I’m too tired to question or complain.

“Camilla.”

“Huh?”

I responded sleepily.

“Have we kissed before? You and I that is? I know it’s strange and somehow silly, but I need you to answer. I have to know. Have we?”

My half shut eyes widened at his question. Since we were already staring, he noticed immediately

****

*How was this? Drop your thoughts below.*