Keeping 13: Boys of Tommen #2

When Darren pulled into the carpark at Tommen a little after 8:45am, I felt like a creepy stalker as I wordlessly sought out the familiar Audi A3 only to come up empty. My heart plummeted into my stomach and I felt myself shrinking into the seat, wishing for nothing more than to just vanish into thin air and float away.

‘What do you think Tadhg would like for his birthday?’ Darren asked as he drove around in circles, looking for a parking spot. ‘It’s this coming Friday and I have no idea what to get him.’

‘I don’t know.’ Numb, I stared out my window and felt my anxiety grow with every Tommen student that filed into the main building. ‘Ask Tadhg.’

‘I’m asking you,’ he replied quietly.

‘Football boots,’ I mumbled, feeling too sick to pay attention. ‘It’s not like he’ll be expecting anything.’ My stomach was rolling; my palms clammy. It almost felt like someone was holding an ice cube to the back of my neck.

‘Good idea.’

Breathe, Shannon.

Just keep breathing…

‘Do you want me to walk in with you?’ Darren asked when he finally found a parking spot in the maze. Killing the engine, he unfastened his seat belt and turned to look at me. ‘Because I will, no problem.’

My head snapped back to him and my eyes widened in horror. ‘Do you remember secondary school?’

‘I’m not that old,’ he quipped.

‘Then you would know that the last thing anyone wants is their big brother walking them into school,’ I strangled out. ‘Like ever.’

He smiled.

I eyed him warily. ‘What?’

‘You called me your big brother.’

‘Yeah, well.’ I sighed and leaned my head back. ‘That’s what you are.’

‘It was just nice to hear you say it.’

His words hung heavily in the air, like deadweight around my neck. I couldn’t do this with him. Not this morning. Not when I was this close to begging him to turn the car around and take me home.

‘I should go,’ I whispered, feeling resigned, eyes still glued to the swarm of students all piling into various buildings.

You can do this.

You can absolutely do this!

‘I’ll be here at four,’ Darren said when I pushed the car door open and stepped into the rain. ‘I’ll try and get a parking spot close to this one, okay?’

Nodding, I grabbed my bag. ‘Thanks for the spin.’

‘Shannon?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Good luck.’

I’m going to need it.

Swinging the car door shut, I slipped my bag onto my shoulders and made my way towards the courtyard, body rigid and mind reeling. The closer I got to the main building, the harder it was to keep my breathing regulated and even. I was anxious, and with every step I took, I slipped closer to a full-blown panic attack.

Mentally chanting tiny affirmations to myself, I put my head down, ignored all the stares and whispers, and hurried inside. I felt off-centered and disoriented and not even the heat wafting from the radiators inside the main building could thaw the ice in my veins as I hurried down the hallway, desperately trying to scope out Claire and Lizzie.

‘Hi, Shan,’ a familiar voice called out from behind me.

I spun around to find Shelly, one of the girls in my class, waving at me from the bathroom doorway. The smile on her face quickly slipped when her eyes landed on mine. ‘Oh god,’ she whisper-hissed, pointing at my face. ‘It’s really true, isn’t it?’

‘Probably,’ I mumbled, feeling anxious.

‘I just thought… I mean, when I heard the girls talking about it in the bathroom, I just presumed –’ She snapped her mouth shut and just stared at me for a long moment. ‘Damn, girl,’ she finally breathed. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘Do you know where Claire is?’ I asked, voice small. ‘Or Lizzie?’

‘Office with Mr. Twomey. He called them both in when they arrived. They’ve been in there for ages.’ Shelly grimaced. ‘It’s probably about you.’

‘Oh.’ I stood there for several moments, debating what to say to that before deciding there was nothing to say and hurrying away.

I planned on escaping to the third-year common room and hiding there until first class commenced, but my feet had other plans. My pulse raced as I wandered off the beaten track, traveling down corridors I never used, to the fifth-year wing of the school.

I heard her before I saw her. ‘Get the fuck out of my way, whore!’

Shoving me roughly out of her way, Bella barreled down the hallway, coming as close to running as I’d ever seen a girl in six-inch heels move.

Staggering sideways from the impact, I braced the wall with my hand, breathing hard, and stared after her.

‘This is all your fault!’ she tossed out over her shoulder before disappearing down another corridor. ‘You ruined my life.’

In some sick and extremely unhealthy way, I almost felt better, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Temporarily, at least. Because I knew this altercation was coming. I knew she was going to do something to me.

Girls like Bella Wilkinson were all the same. They were bitter and angry at the world, and could never let a single thing go. The thing in Bella’s case was Johnny, and the look she gave me on the bus that day assured me that I was in the firing line.

You’ve survived far worse than a mean girl, a small voice in the back of my head reminded me. In three years’ time, she’ll be a blip on your radar.

It was with this knowledge that I steeled my spine and made my way down to the fifth-year wing. I had a whole speech thought up, one that fell out of my head the moment I locked eyes on him, leaning against his locker, with his arms folded across his chest, surrounded by a small army of fellow students. Beside him, resting against the lockers, was one lone crutch. I instantly recognized four of the boys with him as Gibsie, Patrick Feely, Pierce Ó Neill, and Hughie Biggs. Others, I recognized from the bus. His teammates, I noted.

They were all laughing at something Gibsie was saying. Johnny’s smile was a full, double-dimpled one and I could only imagine what Gibsie had said to draw that reaction out of him as he waved his hands around animatedly in usual Gibsie fashion.

His dark hair was styled in that deliciously disheveled look I was fairly sure – no, I knew – he woke up in the morning with, and his eyes were dancing with amusement.

Gibsie and Hughie began to play fight then, with Hughie tackling Gibsie to the floor and rolling around, while the others looked on and laughed.

Riveted to the spot, I watched him interact, taking in how carefree he looked with his teammates and friends, and it made me sad.Property belongs to Nôvel(D)r/ama.Org.

He never looks like that with you because you don’t make him happy. You never could. All you are is a complication, a niggling voice of doubt conjured up in my mind. Get used to watching him from a distance, Shannon, because he’s going away soon. He’s going to be a star. Look at him, he already shines so bright, it’s blinding…

With my bravery abandoning me in a shaky breath, I swiftly turned on my heels, hell bent on getting away – on putting some much-needed space between my heart and the boy who owned it.

It was too much; my feelings, the crowds, this school, my life…

‘Shannon?’

Keep going, it might not be him.

‘Shannon like the river, come back here!’

Busted.

Freezing in the middle of the corridor with my back to him, I debated my options: pretend I hadn’t heard him the first time, or just keep running? The coward in me favored option two, but I forced myself to just stay, breathe, and think this through.

You don’t want to run away from Johnny, I silently commanded myself, this is silly. You’re not scared of him.

‘Were you going to ignore me?’ His voice was closer now, achingly closer, and when I felt his fingers brush against my shoulder blade, an involuntary shiver rolled through me. ‘Hmm?’

Inhaling a deep, steadying breath, I turned around and slapped on the brightest smile I could muster. ‘Hi, Johnny.’

Johnny’s face was set in a deep frown, blue eyes full of confusion as they swept over me. God, he was beautiful. It was hard to focus when my eyes kept drifting to his mouth – to his lips I knew on an intimate basis.

‘Hi, Shannon,’ he replied, not smiling.

‘H-how are you?’ I asked, nervous.

‘Fine. How are you feeling?’

‘I’m okay…’ My smile slipped as I took in his thunderous expression. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘You were running,’ Johnny replied, looking hurt. ‘From me.’

‘Oh, no, I was just…I needed to…I mean, yeah, I thought I should –’ Exhaling a ragged breath, I let my shoulders sag. ‘Yeah.’

His eyes softened. ‘Yeah, as in you were or you weren’t?’

‘I’m uh…’ I grimaced, feeling acutely exposed in this moment. He was putting me on the spot in that direct way of his. ‘I’m not really sure.’

A faint smile ghosted his full lips. ‘You’re not sure of what?’

‘Whether you wanted me to come over to you just there? I mean, I didn’t know if you wanted to see me…or talk? After what happened with my Mam, and I just, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to talk to me anymore.’ I blew out a shaky breath, self-loathing strong as I slipped and stumbled over my words. ‘I didn’t know what you wanted.’ Exhaling heavily, I dropped my head. ‘I don’t know,’ I amended quietly, my voice barely more than a whisper. ‘What you want.’

‘Ask me.’

Forcing down the urge to run and hide, I forced my chin up and looked at him. ‘Huh?’

‘If you want to know what I want, then ask me,’ Johnny repeated, closing the space between us. ‘All you have to do is ask me.’ His hand came down, gently cupping my elbow. ‘And I’ll tell you.’

I felt dizzy when I croaked out, ‘What do you want, Johnny?’

‘For a start, I want you to look me in the eyes when you talk to me,’ Johnny replied, blue eyes burning holes so deeply inside of me, I doubted they could ever be repaired. ‘Second, I want you to stop worrying about things you can’t control. Like Darren and your Ma.’

‘But you didn’t come back,’ I blurted out and then reddened before quickly backpedaling. My heart was racing wildly, my body shaking with a mixture of anxiety and excitement. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that you had to come back or anything like that, and I wasn’t expecting you to just drop everything for me. I know you’re busy and you have a lot of rehab sessions –’

‘I didn’t come back because I couldn’t, Shannon, not because I was told not to by your Ma and not because I didn’t want to see you,’ Johnny explained, sounding pained. ‘I didn’t come back because I physically couldn’t get to you. I still can’t drive, and my Ma wouldn’t let me out of her sight. They even took Gibsie off me, for Christ’s sake. But I wanted to.’ He exhaled a shaky breath. ‘I really fucking wanted to see you.’

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. For the last week, I hadn’t slept, had barely eaten anything, and all because I was literally drowning in my feelings and my uncertainty. The unknown was a terrifying thing for me. Not knowing where I stood with Johnny was even worse. ‘Oh.’

‘I tried to call you,’ he added gruffly. ‘I texted you every day.’

‘Your battery died,’ I explained, feeling lightheaded. ‘I couldn’t charge it.’

‘Dead battery.’ Johnny sighed in what looked like relief. ‘Makes sense.’

‘Does she hate me?’ I asked then, feeling a little faint. ‘Your mother?’

‘No, Shan, she doesn’t hate you,’ he replied, voice torn. ‘I don’t think there’s a person on this planet who could hate you.’

‘But?’

He grimaced. ‘My Ma’s just…’

‘She’s just what?’ My pulse quickened as I waited in fear for what he would say next.

‘Worried,’ he finally replied. ‘My parents don’t want me going over to your place. They think it’s a bad idea.’

My heart sank.

Oh god, you’re a bad idea.

His parents think you’re a bad idea for him, Shannon.

I worried my bottom lip, biting down so hard I was surprised not to taste blood. ‘I’m sorry.’ Feeling at a loss, I clasped my hands together, a nervous trait, and sighed. ‘For all of it.’

Johnny reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear. ‘Can you do me a favor?’

Nodding, I stopped myself from leaning my cheek into his touch. ‘Of course.’

‘Can you not climb back inside that shell of yours every time we’re not together for a few days?’

I swallowed deeply, eyes locked on his. ‘My shell?’

‘Your shell,’ he confirmed. ‘Don’t do that to me, Shannon – don’t block me out. Don’t give me you last weekend and then take it away again. I’m the same me from that night in my house – I’m the same me from every other time we’ve been together. So, don’t put a wall up between us, not when you’ve already let me climb over it.’

‘I’m…I didn’t realize I was doing that,’ I admitted.

‘You’re doing it now,’ he confirmed gruffly. ‘You do it all the time.’

‘I…’ Shaking my head, I shrugged helplessly. ‘Sorry?’

‘Don’t say sorry,’ he replied. ‘Just start trusting me, okay?’

‘I do trust you, Johnny,’ I strangled out, nodding eagerly, desperate for him to know that. ‘But they’re probably right,’ I added, feeling a crippling wave of uncertainty flood me. ‘Your parents, I mean.’ Blowing out a breath, I touched my forehead with my hand and mumbled, ‘About it being a bad idea.’

‘They’re wrong,’ Johnny corrected, sounding so confident and sure in this moment that it was comforting to hear. ‘I’m right.’

‘Right about what?’

‘I’m right about you.’

Oh god.

‘But I am a bad idea for you, Johnny,’ I replied shakily, needing him to hear me, giving him the out that, if he had sense, he would take. ‘I’m a lot of trouble.’

‘I like your trouble,’ he countered, stepping closer.

‘My life is complicated.’

‘I want your complications.’

My breath escaped me in a rush. ‘You do?’

He nodded slowly. ‘You asked me what I wanted? There’s a lot of things, but in a nutshell, I just want you.’ Shrugging, he added, ‘And I’m kind of hoping that you’re going to say that you want me, too?’ He laughed nervously. ‘Or else I’ve just made a complete spanner of myself in the middle of the school hall –’

‘I do back,’ I blurted out and then cringed. ‘You, as well.’ Shaking my head, I blew out a breath and tried again. ‘I want you, too.’

‘Yeah?’ He beamed, shoulders sagging in relief. ‘Thank fuck for that.’

‘And I missed you,’ I strangled out the words, forcing them out of my head and into his, because, at the very least, I needed him to know that I missed him. ‘Terribly,’ I added, offering up another piece of trust to him. ‘Like so much.’

‘Yeah.’ Tightening his hold on my elbow, Johnny tugged me closer until I was flush against him. ‘How much?’

‘Like a crazy fucking amount,’ I whispered.

‘A crazy fucking amount?’ Smirking, he titled his head to one side. ‘That sounds dangerous.’

‘It is.’ I nodded eagerly. ‘Very.’

Grinning, Johnny dipped his face, closing the space between us. ‘I think I’ll take my chances,’ he whispered, and then brushed his lips against mine.

Once, featherlight, twice, a little firmer, and then…oh god.

His tongue swept into my mouth, stroking against mine, and my breath hitched, my eyelids fluttering closed.

My hands shot out of their own accord, fingers knotting in his navy school jumper, as I kissed him back with everything I had in me. Whatever I had in this moment, I gave it all up to him, both unable and unwilling to hold back the feelings bursting out of me that were all aimed solely at him.

I knew people could see us, we were standing in the middle of the corridor with his teammates less than ten feet away, but I just didn’t care anymore. I could hear the bell sounding for class, I could hear voices around us, people calling his name and wolf-whistling, but I couldn’t find the willpower required to tear myself away. I couldn’t find it in my heart to worry.

Johnny kept one hand on my elbow, holding me roughly against his chest, while his free hand tangled in my hair, holding me in place, letting me know with every thrust of his tongue that he really did like my trouble.

Oh god…

The bell sounded again and then we were cloaked in a sudden silence.

Trembling, I clung to him, struggling to handle the heat rising up inside of me. The pressure in my chest was almost too much and I gasped into his mouth, needing more and needing him to stop all in one breath. Because I couldn’t contain the feeling erupting inside of me. I couldn’t stop my heart from rail-roading off-course and charging straight for him.

‘Wait, wait, wait –’ Breaking the kiss, Johnny stared down at me, breathing hard. ‘You’re my girlfriend now, right?’

Feeling slightly dazed, I craned my neck and stared up at him. ‘Huh?’

‘My girlfriend,’ he repeated, looking nervous. ‘Are you?’

‘Uh, I…I –’

‘Because I’ve never done this before.’ He glanced around the empty corridor before turning his attention back to me. ‘And I need to know where I stand with you.’

‘Oh.’ I shrugged helplessly. ‘Neither have I.’

‘Shite, yeah, sorry.’ He blew out another nervous breath, looking achingly vulnerable. ‘So, are you?’

Was he asking me to confirm I was his girlfriend or was he asking me to be his girlfriend? Or was he asking me if I thought I was? Oh god, I didn’t know and my mind was reeling, my heart too cautious to make the assumption for fear I was reading this whole thing wrong.

‘I don’t know,’ I finally replied, heart racing wildly. ‘Am I?’

Johnny touched my cheek, his knuckles grazing over my skin with a featherlight touch. ‘I really fucking hope so.’

‘Yeah?’ A deep sense of relief washed through me and I whispered, ‘Me too.’

‘And I’m yours.’ Grinning, his hand slipped from my elbow to my ass, giving me a little squeeze, before stepping back and releasing me. ‘Just so you know where you stand.’

My heart slammed so hard against my chest that I felt a little faint. ‘Oh-okay.’

He then proceeded to tug his shirt out from the waistband to conceal the very impressive bulge in his grey school trousers. ‘I’m supposed to be in double accounting with Doyle, and I have no fucking clue how I’m going to concentrate on spreadsheets,’ he explained with a grimace. ‘What are you late for?’

‘I’m, ah…’ Shaking my head, I tried to clear my thoughts but my gaze kept returning to his blatant erection. ‘I’m supposed to be in Maths.’

When he caught me staring, Johnny shrugged sheepishly. ‘It’s uh, yeah, that’s probably going to happen a lot when I’m with you,’ he explained, with a small shake of his head. ‘But just know that I’m not getting any notions, okay? Just ignore it and it’ll go away.’

What if I don’t want to ignore it?

‘Okay,’ I agreed, tone breathy. ‘I understand.’

Feeling like my world had once again shifted beneath me, I watched as Johnny walked stiffly back to his locker, slung his schoolbag over his shoulder and then grabbed his crutch before returning to me.

‘Shouldn’t you be leaning on that?’ I asked when he slung an arm around my shoulder and led me back towards the third-year wing, aimlessly twisting the metal stick around in his hand like a baton twirler.

‘It slows me down,’ he admitted, drawing me closer to his side.

‘For good reason,’ I replied quietly, stopping outside my designated classroom. ‘Because you’re supposed to slow down, Johnny.’

‘So, this is what having a girlfriend’s going to be like?’ he teased, but thankfully set his crutch down. ‘You bossing me around the place and telling me what to do?’

‘No.’ I blushed. ‘I’m just saying that you were given a crutch for a good reason.’

‘Yeah, I know.’ Sighing, he released his hold on me and turned to face me. ‘So, listen, I wanted to ask you about how things were going at home, but I got all caught up in the moment.’

At the mention of home, I felt the tension build back up inside of me. ‘My Dad’s still gone,’ I said quietly. ‘If that’s what you meant.’

‘No sight of him?’

I shrugged. ‘Not by the Gardaí.’

‘Shite.’ Johnny expelled a frustrated growl. ‘It’s been more than two weeks. How the hell have they not found him by now?’

‘It’s okay.’ I shrugged, feeling myself grow more rigid at the thought of my father. ‘I’m not expecting any miracles.’

‘No, it’s not okay,’ he shot back in a passionate tone. ‘But you will be.’

‘Yeah’ Shivering, I stepped into his embrace, pressing my forehead to his chest. ‘Maybe I will.’

‘Can we do something after school today?’ he asked then, nuzzling my hair with his cheek. ‘Can you come home with me?’

God, I wish. ‘No.’

‘No?’ He stared down at me. ‘If this is because you think my folks don’t want you at the house then you’re wrong, Shan.’

‘Darren’s picking me up,’ I reluctantly told him. ‘Apparently, he’ll be driving me to and from school from here on out.’

Growling, he dropped a hand on my lower back and pulled me closer. ‘I fucking hate this.’

Closing my eyes, I just sagged against him, body coiled tight with tension. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t say sorry,’ he said, smoothing a hand down my back. ‘It’ll be okay. I’m getting stronger. I’ve been doing all my physio and shite. Once I get my car back next week, and I’m back on the road, it’ll be easier.’ He growled when he said, ‘I’ll be breathing down their necks like their worst fucking nightmare.’

‘I’m sorry about how they spoke to you,’ I blurted out. ‘It was so wrong.’

‘Shan.’ He sighed. ‘Don’t even worry about it.’

‘But I am worried about it.’

‘I know you’re scared, but I’m not, and I’m not worried, either,’ he replied gruffly. ‘I don’t care if your entire family doesn’t like me. Let them. I’m only interested in you liking me because I only care about you.‘

‘Joey likes you,’ I croaked out.

Johnny smirked. ‘Yeah?’

I nodded. ‘And he doesn’t like anyone.’

‘Good to know I have big brother’s approval,’ Johnny chuckled. ‘Oh yeah, I almost forgot –’ Shoving a hand into his pocket, he dragged out a pricey looking mobile phone, and aside from being pink in color, it was identical to his black one. ‘Do you have my phone?’ he asked, tapping on the screen of the pink one in his hands.

‘Oh –’ Slipping my hand under my jumper, I removed his dead phone from the breast pocket of my shirt and held it out to him. ‘Yeah, sorry…uh, thank you again for letting me use it.’

Johnny took his phone and slid it into his pocket, before placing the pink phone in my hand.

I stared blankly at the device. ‘What’s this?’

‘It’s yours,’ he replied. Slipping his schoolbag off his shoulder, he pulled a charger out of the front pocket and then proceeded to slide it into my bag.

‘Wh-what are you doing?’

‘It’s yours,’ he repeated, blue eyes locked on mine. ‘It’s got a built in MP3 and I loaded it up with a ton of songs for you. It’s topped up with credit and I put mine, Claire, Joey, and Gibsie’s numbers in, but you’re going to have to add the rest of your contacts yourself.’

My mouth fell open as I gaped at him. ‘You bought me a phone?’

‘You needed a phone, and I missed your birthday.’ He shrugged, like it wasn’t the gigantic deal it was, and said, ‘Made sense.’

‘You gave me dinner for my birthday,’ I whispered, embarrassed.

‘I gave you fucking Cheerios,’ he grumbled, looking annoyed with himself.

‘And a toasted sandwich,’ I hurried to add.

‘Don’t remind me,’ he groaned.

‘When did you buy it?’

‘The other day, after physio,’ he replied, watching me warily. ‘Are you mad at me for it?’

‘No, I’m not mad,’ I strangled out, feeling lightheaded. ‘But I can’t accept it.’ I dropped my gaze to the phone that I knew full well had to have cost at least a couple of hundred euro. ‘It’s too much.’ I blew out a shaky breath. ‘Too expensive.’

‘It’s yours,’ he said. ‘So just put it in your pocket and don’t try and send me home with a pink phone.’ Smirking, he added, ‘Gibs will never let me hear the end of it.’

‘But you didn’t have to do this for me–’

‘I’m going to do a lot of things for you, Shannon.’ Taking the phone from my hand, Johnny reached into my jumper and slid the phone into my shirt pocket. His fingers grazed my chest and I shivered. ‘And I’m going to buy you a lot of stuff.’ He took a step back, never taking his eyes off me, and shrugged unapologetically. ‘Fair warning.’

‘But I don’t need presents.’ I pressed a hand to my forehead, feeling flustered and stressed as the weight of the phone in my pocket hung heavily on my conscience. ‘I’m not one of those girls who’s out for what they can get from you, Johnny. I’m not Bella,’ I added, imploring him with my eyes to believe me. I just need you.

‘I know that, Shannon,’ he replied, frowning. ‘Christ, don’t even think like that.’

‘I can’t give you anything back,’ I choked out, telling him the same thing I told him last week, praying he would hear me. ‘I have nothing to give you in return.’

‘You can give me a call.’

‘A call?’

He smirked. ‘And you can text me.’

‘Be serious,’ I begged.

‘I am.’ He stepped closer. ‘I am so fucking serious about you.’

Oh god…

‘I need to be able to talk to you.’ Dropping a hand to my hip, he tugged me closer. ‘To know you’re okay.’ Exhaling shakily, he flexed his fingers, making me burn with unfamiliar need. ‘I can’t be at home not knowing what’s happening in your life.’ His eyes darkened when he said, ‘In your house.’

‘Johnny…’

‘I can’t handle it, Shannon,’ he whispered. ‘You have no idea how fucked up in the head it makes me, not knowing if he’s back or whether or not you’re safe. Every time I think about you in that house, I go into a blind panic. I literally drive myself insane thinking all the worst-case scenarios until I see you again.’

‘But I’m okay now,’ I hurried to soothe. ‘I am.’

‘Maybe,’ he replied quietly. ‘But I still need the link.’

‘Of a phone,’ I filled in.

‘Yeah.’ He shifted from foot to foot, looking uncomfortable. ‘I suppose now’s a good time to tell you that I get a little obsessed with the things I love, huh?’

There was that word again.

‘It’s okay,’ I strangled out.

‘But it’s not,’ he countered gruffly. ‘Because it was bad enough before, when I was fighting it, but now I’m just…’ He blew out a pained sigh. ‘I just want to be with you.’ He shrugged almost helplessly. ‘All the fucking time.’

‘That might change,’ I breathed, shaking from the impact of his words.

‘I wouldn’t hold your breath,’ he replied.

Don’t worry, I’m not.

‘Once I get my car back, we can spend more time together, outside of school, and maybe I won’t be so fucking paranoid,’ he continued. ‘You can come over to my place and kick my ass on the PlayStation, or we can go to Biddies. Whatever you want.’

‘I really don’t think your parents will want me going over to your house,’ I confessed, biting down on my lip hard. ‘I know you think otherwise, but I honestly can’t see them wanting you to hang around with me.’ I sighed. ‘And I don’t blame them, Johnny.’

‘I’m not hanging around with you, Shannon. I’m with you,’ he shot back gruffly. ‘And I promise that my parents have no problem with you.’

Yeah right…

‘I’m serious, Shan,’ he added, tipping my chin up to meet his eyes. ‘They really like you.’

I didn’t believe that, not one word, but I refrained from telling him. Instead, I mumbled a halfhearted, ‘They’re good people.’

‘You’re good people,’ Johnny shot back, blue eyes scorching me. ‘You, Shannon, you’re good, and my parents and everyone else knows that. Especially me. So don’t be letting that head of yours tell you any different.’

A shiver rolled through me. ‘God, Johnny, I just wish we could –’

‘Come on, Shaggy!’ Gibsie’s voice perforated through the air, startling me and causing me to jerk away. Seconds later, he appeared from the lower staircase, bounding up the steps like an over-excited Labrador. ‘Oh – hey, Little Shannon.’

‘Hi, Gibs,’ I replied shyly before looking up at Johnny. ‘Shaggy?’

Johnny sighed wearily. ‘Don’t ask.’

‘Oh…’ I frowned. ‘Okay?’

‘You’re looking well, girl,’ Gibsie acknowledged with a friendly smile before swiftly swiping Johnny’s bag off his shoulder and hoisting it onto his own. ‘Hate to cut the reunion short, but your boy here needs to get his ass to class.’ His eyes were dancing with excitement when he said, ‘Lad, you won’t fucking believe it, but Mrs. Moore took my suggestion!’

Johnny stared at Gibsie for a long beat before awareness dawned on him and his jaw fell open. ‘You’re joking.’

‘I’m so fucking serious right now.’ Gibsie literally bounced on his feet. ‘I asked for it months ago and I just presumed they overlooked me for that shitty past-pupil talk before Christmas, but I was wrong. They listened to me, lad. It’s all set up and everything! I swear this is the best day!’

‘They seriously brought them in for the senior talk?’ Johnny pushed.

Gibsie nodded eagerly. ‘You’re welcome.’

‘Jesus,’ Johnny groaned. ‘The school’s going to shite.’

‘What suggestion?’ I heard myself ask.

Johnny glanced nervously at me. ‘Ah, you’re really better off not knowing.’

‘Three of them, lad,’ Gibsie added, clearly delighted with himself. ‘Three, Johnny! Fucking three!’

‘Three what?’ I asked, curious.

‘Nurses,’ Johnny muttered, rubbing his jaw.

My brows furrowed. ‘Nurses?’

Johnny opened his mouth to reply, but Gibsie got in there first. ‘Not just any nurses. Sex nurses.’ Winking he added, ‘And they look nothing like the ones touching your balls this morning.’

My eyes widened. ‘Huh?’

‘Christ, it’s not what it sounds like.’ Johnny’s bewildered expression mirrored mine. ‘And they’re not sex nurses, ya bollox,’ he added, flustered. Running a hand through his hair, he narrowed his eyes and said, ‘They’re regular nurses who just happen to work at the sexual health clinic.’

‘I know,’ Gibsie replied joyously. ‘Better again.’

Johnny arched a brow. ‘Do you even know what the sexual health clinic is used for?’

‘I know they’re handing out free condoms, lollipops, and bottles of lube,’ Gibsie said gleefully. ‘That’s all I need to know.’ Slapping Johnny on the shoulder, he hurried back towards the staircase, calling out, ‘Come on – I’ve emptied my schoolbag. We’re going to save a fucking fortune today.’

I glanced up at Johnny, who was staring after Gibsie with a mildly horrified expression etched on his face. ‘What do you think it’s like in his head?’

‘A happy place?’ I offered with a weak shrug.

‘Hmm.’ Frowning, Johnny turned back to me. ‘Listen, do you want to just blow off the rest of –’

‘Come on, Johnny!’ Gibsie roared at the top of his lungs. ‘You’re missing the presentation, dammit!’

‘Jesus.’ Grimacing, Johnny leaned down and pressed a kiss to my cheek. ‘I better go and… rein him in.’

‘Of course.’ I nodded, cheeks reddening as I watched him chase after his friend. ‘Bye, Johnny.’

‘Bye, Shannon,’ he called over his shoulder as he battled with the staircase. ‘I’ll see ya at lunch, okay?’

‘Yeah,’ I blew out a breath, ‘I’ll see you then.’

‘I’m not, by the way,’ he called out, pausing mid-step on the staircase to swing around. ‘So don’t worry.’

‘You’re not what?’

‘Filling my schoolbag.’

I opened my mouth to say something, but I only ended up letting my jaw hang open.

Chuckling softly to himself, Johnny disappeared down the steps, leaving me standing there, catching flies with my mouth.

I must have stood there, still as a statue, staring after him for a solid five minutes, because when I finally snapped out of it, my body felt stiff, my legs like jelly.

Reluctantly, I turned on my heels, gripped the straps of my schoolbag, and forced myself to walk to class.