Jack Of All Trades (Erotica)

Diana pointed to the patio. “Out there.”

“Well that counts as Altarian property.” Elissa smiled. “I’ll arrange for their records to show their citizenship. Tell me Jack, what’s the significance of the names?”

“Both are Earth names that mean ‘beautiful’. They come from different cultures that never found peace together. Seeing the two babies only at peace when they were together made me think of them for some reason,” he said looking fondly at the sleeping infants in SennLann’s arms.

“Have you thought of what you are going to do with your off time?”

“Not yet. I haven’t come up with anything fun yet. There are things I need to do like shop for clothes. I’m thinking of a quick trip to Earth to hit a few stores.”

Karrel shared a nervous look with her mother. “Isn’t that something you can order online?”

“I really need new runners and I’d like to see what they have and try some different ones on. This isn’t something I can do online. The running shirts and shorts will be a quick purchase. I need casual clothes as all I have are work clothes and shorts. All of this is the kind of stuff you find at a mall. It will only take an afternoon. I can slip in and out, no fuss, no drama. Just a little shopping.”

“Not without a security detail.” Elissa said firmly.

“Do you know how much attention Altarians draw on Earth?” Jack complained.

“Non-negotiable,” she said with finality.

Jack sighed. “Sure, ok. Can we do it tomorrow?”

“Yes, the sooner the better. Don’t give anyone time to plan something,” the Queen agreed.

“You make it sound like there’s some evil group of conspirators waiting to pounce on me!” Jack snorted.

Elissa shared a look with Karrel and Jack caught it. His eyebrows went up.

“What was that? Is there something you know and are keeping from me?” Jack blurted.

“No, Hellna’s team keeps a close watch on the net, looking for patterns such as the one that led to her stopping the Sinosian assassin. We don’t know of any current plots against you but it has happened in the past and you tend to dismiss the possibility too readily. You’re important and not just to us!” the Queen answered.

Jack looked at the women who were all looking back at him. His shoulders dropped in defeat. “Right. I’m sorry for dismissing your concerns. I will be careful. I wouldn’t even go if there was a reasonable alternative.”

“Thank you Jack.” Elissa said with a smile. “I’ll call Hellna to make the arrangements for your security detail.”

He nodded and sat on the chair facing the couch. SennLann quickly crawled up on his lap and proceeded to feed her babies. The ladies on the couch all smiled at his surprised look. The visit settled into the normal pattern of talking about their kids. Diana would soon have her own to talk about and she shared a smile with Jack.

Jack was actually rather excited to be visiting Earth again. While his last few visits hadn’t been so pleasant, he still felt a connection to the planet. He could visit any of the larger malls for what he needed so he informed the security team of this and left the selection up to them.

Unlike many worlds in the Interplanetary Gate Network, Earth had multiple gates. It was a hub. The reason for this had something to do with the contribution Earth originally made to the network. It also meant he could enter a gate on warm Altaria and exit into one of several equally warm locations on Earth. As he was wearing a t-shirt, shorts, runners, and his hoodie (to cover his horns) selecting a warm destination just made sense.

Jack waited at the gate terminal for his escort. The terminal staff had orders not to allow him through any of the gates unaccompanied. He smiled at the obvious work of the Queen.

Four black furred Altarians walked in the terminal entrance and made their way over to Jack. He recognized Gee and Bal but the other two… nope. No recollection of them.

“Hi Gee, Bal. Who’re your shadows?” he asked with a smirk at his own cleverness.

His ‘usual escorts’ were familiar with his informality with them so they ignored the question and moved him to the Customs and Security agent desk. He gave her the details of the trip and they were assigned a gate to pass through. The group went down the hall to the gate. The large mirror surface showed him surrounded by dark shadows. He pointed at their reflection.

“You see this? I thought we were supposed to be inconspicuous! That isn’t happening if we walk around the mall looking like this. Couldn’t you have worn disguises?”

Bal and Gee each took a hand and pulled him forward through their reflection. A brief tingle later they were walking up to the customs desk for government officials. It would have taken them much longer to get through the general traffic line.

“Welcome to Earth, Las Vegas Gate Terminal. Name, Department, and reason for your visit please,” the agent behind the glass said.

“Las Vegas? How did they get a gate?” Jack thought. “Jack Danner, Altarian Ambassador, personal shopping trip.”

“Your hood please. Remove it,” the agent’s voice said blandly.

Jack forgot he was wearing it so he reached up and pushed it back.

“Geez- excuse me. You said this was a personal trip?” the man said not even trying to stop himself from staring at the large black horns growing from Jack’s forehead.

“Yes, there are no human clothing stores on Altaria. So I shop on Earth. Where the clothes are.”

“Right. How about these… people.”

“They are my security escort. They fall under my diplomatic authority and I accept responsibility for them.”

The agent looked at him then turned back to his terminal and four tracker bands slid out of the slot on the desk. Jack handed them out and they quickly disappeared into pockets.

“They’re supposed to wear them,” the agent blurted.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

“I take that under my diplomatic authority too. Have a lovely day.”

“It’s night.”

“Oh! Well, good evening then.”

Jack and his four escorts made their way out of the terminal and indeed it was night. He could tell by the small patches of black sky he could see between the flashes of holographic advertising for the casinos. He looked at Bal.

“Why the hell did we go to Las Vegas?”

“A night cycle location with an open mall should be quieter,” she explained.

Jack stared back at the agent with an incredulous look. “Do you understand what Las Vegas is? There is no quiet time here.” Jack growled then shook his head. He was drawing looks from the crowded night time streets so he flipped up his hood and headed off towards the huge signs indicating the mall was in that direction.

He really didn’t want to be in Vegas. He’d worked here a long time ago. He’d been eighteen… no, nineteen at the time. On his own for a number of years by that point but now able to take on jobs legally. He’d actually had a number of jobs in this town. From dishwasher in one of the smaller casino’s kitchen, housekeeping in one of the larger hotels, then moved by his manager into a regrettable stint as pool boy at the hotel’s spa. He’d had to flee the city when one of the ladies at the spa got a little frisky and had her way with him in a cabana. He had no idea the woman was the wife of one of the casino bosses. Word got out and his manager took pity on him and gave him a five hour head start. He lost his meager savings but he wasn’t buried in a shallow grave in the desert so he considered that he came out ahead. He hadn’t told anyone about this but he hadn’t ever expected to come back either.

The Las Vegas of his initial visit looked nothing like the present day but this was a city that reinvented itself on a constant basis. Buildings came and went and the only constant was change.

The group made their way down the strip ignoring the siren calls of the casino’s that lined the street. They ignored the street level entertainment of the Buskers and the invitations from the prostitutes. They bypassed the stalls where the scents of exotic foods cooking wafted out, though Jack’s mouth salivated a little. OK, more than a little.

Finally they reached the entrance to the mall and pushed inside. The crowds inside were a little smaller but the press of humanity was beginning to get to Jack. It had been a while since he’d been exposed to so many humans. He shook his head at that thought.

He spotted a shop with sportswear and made a beeline for it. Once inside the crowd thinned out considerably so he began to relax. He found a number of running shirts, shorts and socks so he picked them up. They had a terrible selection of running shoes but a young male clerk with a multitude of tattoos and piercings took pity on him and told him which shop in the mall to go to for the best selection of running shoes for actual running.

The clerk kept glancing up at Jack’s hood. As the man had done him a solid he lifted the front of the hood and watched the man’s eyes go wide with shock.

“OMIGOD, dude! You’re him!” the clerk gushed. Jack glanced at his name tag.

“Yes Dane it’s me, but please keep that under your hood until tomorrow morning. It’s almost impossible to get shopping done these days. Thanks for your help!”

“Sure! Sure! Uh, can I- can I get a shot of us together? My Clicki will be so fucking jealous!” the young man asked. Jack wasn’t sure what the hell a Clicki was but he’d been away from Earth for some time. Some of the lingo was going to bypass him.

“Yeah, sure.” Jack saw they were sheltered from the front of the store by the cash desk so he flipped the hood back and the clerk grinned madly.

“I’m so freaking spent!” Dane gushed.

“That’s good, right?” Jack smiled and Dane got his shot.

Jack flipped the hood back up and picked up his bags. Dane shook his hand and wished him luck.

Once he was back in the mall Gee maneuvered herself closer. “Do you plan on displaying yourself to everyone you meet? You are supposed to be keeping a low profile!” she hissed.

“Said one of my four black shadows,” he retorted.

Gee growled and moved off a distance to track the crowd.

Following the directions Dane gave him they made their way across the mall. He stopped in a shop to buy some jeans, some khakis, three casual shirts, and some underwear. Finally he found the running shoe store. He went to move inside but a large man suddenly barred his way. “The store is temporarily closed. Come ba-” the man began then his eyes went wide as he saw inside the hood. He whispered something into a wrist mic, listened, then stood aside. Bal stepped up to him, gave him a once over, and moved inside first. Moments later Gee tapped Jack’s hip and he went inside with a nod to the man who was obviously someone’s security.

Jack saw the variety of running shoes offered here and a satisfied grin spread over his face. He began to work his way along the shoes displayed on the wall. Some were just gimmicks but some of them had some serious engineering behind them. He was so engrossed he missed the fact that he was being watched.